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How do you feel a breakup should occur? what actions should each person take to simplify the process of seperating?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 06/16/2020 at 6:00am
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Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

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I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
TheBFG
June 7th, 2015 9:32pm
I feel like if each person talks to each other and say how they feel they will know where they stand, this may ease letting go.
kdog334
August 10th, 2015 10:49pm
Breaking up is normally never a simple process. In my experience (i'm on good terms with all my ex's) I have found it best to be totally honest with each other, what worked, what didn't and what you want in the future. Its best being honest now rather then not and regretting it later.
Randy1
February 28th, 2015 8:57pm
I'm not sure there is a specific way to do this, but it can be done with maturity and respect. If the relationship is over, there is no need to fight, to say hurtful things, to spread gossip. Part on friendly terms and with your head held high.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2020 6:00am
Usually it is best if breakups are mutual but sometimes that is not the case. However I feel a breakup needs to be cordial establishing why it is needed. Relationships can turn into simple friendships if there is good enough closure established at the breakup. Both the partners need to empathize and understand. Each person should clearly state why they want to breakup and be truthful for the same. A breakup can be really fragile and needs to be dealt with accordingly. Maybe the partners need to ensure that the other person and they themselves have someone to fall back on, someone they can talk to about this.
Mahnidee93
June 23rd, 2015 8:35pm
I think each person should come to an agreement on how things should end and both should be responsible for why the breakup is occurring.
Anonymous
December 21st, 2015 5:11pm
A Breakup should be a mutual affair. Both parties should say how they feel, why things did not work out for them, what they wished could have happened; or what was desired for in the relationship. Sometimes just communicating can make a world of difference.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2019 6:35am
According to me both the partners should sit together and reflect on their relationship. The highs and lows, the challenges faced, and try to understand and acknowledge the reasons why going separate ways is better than staying together. Also, if we understand that breakup doesn't really mean that you don't care about the other person, it just means that you still care for that person but staying together is not the best way foward for anyone, will help the individuals to deal with emotional conflict post the breakup.
Vronica23
August 14th, 2017 5:14pm
I think one of the most important things to do is give the other person the respect of talking to them about it in person, if you feel it is safe to do so. Opening that line of communication, and letting both sides talk can help both sides get closure, and make things a little more amicable. Some times relationships don't work out, and that's ok. If you're feeling this way, there's a good chance they sense something is off too.
Anonymous
January 30th, 2017 4:49am
Breakups are not meant to happen a specific way. All of us feel different and react differently to heartbreak or ending a relationship even if it's mutual. We can't expect the other person to not act out if they are hurt. So just prepare yourself for that, if it ends and they are hurt simply allow them to feel hurt don't argue and make them hurt more. Remember you once loved this person and you should know that despite the reason for breaking up they still feel emotions as we all do. End it peacefully and allow the other end to grieve if they need without judgement.
niceShoe37
November 7th, 2016 4:52pm
When you breakup with someone, you two should both understand what you're about to do and do it maturely. Dealing with a breakup like grown ups means less drama and less pain. You two should meet in person and talk about it and get full closure. Much love!x
abnerius421
May 24th, 2016 4:58am
A breakup must occur without problems. No argues, no shouts, no pain. It's ok to cry, but is more important to see your partner happy for maybe the last time. The process must be simplified by thanking each others' effort, love, comprehension, mistakes and especially the way that person makes you grow up in all ambits. A breakup must be a step forward!
PositiveAura
April 25th, 2016 7:43pm
each sit down and talk about your feelings with each other this will result in a less violent breakup
AliciaJ
February 23rd, 2016 6:12am
Be blunt, be honest and be respectful. Have a face-to-face conversation and tell them that it'll probably be best for both of you if you could part your ways. NEVER try to pick a fight, blame the other person or say anything disrespectful, and DO expect the other person to feel a bit shocked. Also be clear about your intentions so that you don't leave them any false hope, because that could hurt them more. Give them and yourself time and space alone for recovery.
Letsflipthatfrown
December 29th, 2015 3:10pm
A breakup is much simpler when both parties are agreed with it. Even if you or your partner doesn't want to breakup, you/they need to recognise that a relationship is a two-way thing. It will be much simpler if you both go about it in a friendly, accepting way and end on a good note.
amiableAmy
June 4th, 2015 11:17pm
Initiate the breakup while you are both in a calm, rational state of mind - don't do it when either of you are angry or upset or drunk. When speaking, keep the focus on yourself & why you feel the relationships needs to end - don't make it about their shortcomings or they may try to bargain with you to get you stay. After it's over, give each other the space you require - some people need to go completely no-contact to move on.
BrittanyLove
May 28th, 2015 9:34pm
A breakup can be difficult to go through, especially when you truly love that person. The best thing to do is to simply let things go. It will not happen overnight, but eventually you will slowly loosen your grip on the heartache, and on the person that you were in a relationship with, and you will learn to accept the separation as it is. To do this, you can stay away from social media especially your ex-significant other's social media, tell your family and friends to not bring up the breakup or ask how he/she is doing unless you bring it up, and most importantly keep yourself distracted! Surround yourself with positive people who will be there to distract you, and support you through your hardships.
catsforever
May 22nd, 2015 5:35pm
Each person should talk to one another about why they want to and don't want to be in the relationship. If the problems can be resolved ("I'm moving away" "Okay, we'll meet up once a week to make up for it") then it would be easier to work through it. Things that can not be resolved should be spoken about and an agreement should be made. Breakups don't have to be shouting and screaming and can be made easier by talking through it!
Survivingnightmares
April 22nd, 2015 6:54am
I believe that a break up should be done in a calm enviroment where the two can minimalise pain as much as possible. This way you can both part on good times and hopefully salvage a friend ship
maskedanonymous
March 1st, 2015 1:48pm
When there is no feelings for each other anymore, just let each other go. But it depends, if you still love him, and he doesn't anymore, you could fight for him if you can and if you want to. If you can't, it's not wrong to just give up.