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How do you move on if you are still in love with the other person?

27 Answers
Last Updated: 12/14/2020 at 11:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Dorothy Paige, MS Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I believe that any issue that prevents one from living life to the fullest or prevents self love is defeating. I am committed to providing support to anyone who seeks help.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 18th, 2015 12:47am
All things come with time, and part of coping is learning how to make the passage of time more bearable while your heart tries to heal. For me, that means absorbing myself in something--anything. It can be school, work, or even a hobby. Find what works best for you, and let time do the work.
Anonymous
May 26th, 2015 6:27pm
When you are in a relationship but it still doesn't feel right, you keep comparing someone else with your ex or the person you used to love. You can also tell if you don't want to date anyone because you know that whatever you do you cant get over him. He is in your thoughts all the time and when you see him there are butterflies in your stomach but also the ache in your chest because he is no longer yours.
Litchimama
February 17th, 2020 12:43am
Be gentle with yourself and try to keep busy. It's okay to still love them, but try not to keep any contact with them so that you have the space to move on. Also, keep a checklist to remind yourself of why the relationship can't work out, and look at it often. As humans we tend to recollect only good memories with past loves, so this will give you perspective. Lean on your friends and family too, and be open about your pain. Talking through the end of a relationship will kick-start the healing process. But most of all, please be kind to yourself if you slip up or are broken over it, you loved someone and are only human. You will be okay.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2015 12:25am
Well , just thinking that everything is over and everyone must move on into life because I know soon or late that love will fade away as a proverb says " if a person is far from your eye he is far from your heart to " so I decide to move on and live my life !
Anonymous
June 7th, 2015 10:41am
It's really hard to do, I know from experience, you just have to be able to tell yourself that they were no good for you if they broke it off without you feeling it was necessary.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2015 12:13pm
You put your faith in time, which is an amazing healer. You look forwards, don't dwell on the past.
Anonymous
August 31st, 2015 10:34am
Remember the good times you had with them but take this as a time for personal growth and reflection to do the things you love and grow on your own.
AdviceGuru
September 8th, 2015 11:21pm
The pain will hurt, but with time the wound on your heart will heal. Distraction through friends and hobbies can help the process along, but you will move on from the loss when you are personally ready.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 3:04pm
Get support from family and friends. Have a girls night out or even a fun girls night in! Distract myself in a positive way.
lexi2420
November 16th, 2015 4:56am
It's hard to move on when you are still in love with someone else try to focus on the positive parts of life and surround yourself with a strong support group. You can't completely move on until you are able to let go of the past.
HappyEyes
February 8th, 2016 1:03pm
First off, cut all contact with that particular person. Cold turkey. Throw everything that reminds you of that person. Second of all, start to invest your time in projects, hobbies, work, whatever that may be. Keep your mind occupied. Pamper yourself. Third of all, give yourself time in order for you to heal. This is the most important step.
blackBreeze53
April 19th, 2016 11:55am
I just try to stay friends with them, but if that doesnt work, I try to move on, and let go of that person
Jynna
July 19th, 2016 1:31am
Accept your feelings for what they are. Accept that it hurts, but try to remember that pain is temporary. Remember to breathe, then put one foot forward.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2016 5:59pm
You start the process of loving yourself. Develop a new hobby something exciting to get the adrelines on the run for happiness and giving happiness = gaming happiness. You learn your soul and fall in love with it.
uniqueMango45
August 2nd, 2016 1:03am
Find their flaws, and write yourself inspirational things people have you love had said to you. Watch videos of you being a kid - remember there's been more to your life than this one person!
Anonymous
August 29th, 2016 11:13pm
If you have a very good reason to be with that person, tell them how you feel. However, if it hurts to be with them, move on. And by moving on, love yourself completely. And then maybe you will find yourself in a hearty relationship.
musicaltater20
January 9th, 2017 1:58am
Slowly distance yourself from them. Unfollow them on social media, and delete their number. This doesn't have to be all at once, but once the distance is far enough apart, your feelings may change towards that person.
scotty4947
January 9th, 2017 11:57pm
Time. Taking the time to really reflect and move on is the best answer I can think of. Some can't reflect easily, though. In that case, I would suggest to do random things to get your mind off of it. Things such as, spending time with family and friends, exercising, learn something new (language, musical instrument, recipe to cook, etc etc), and so many other healthy/safe/enjoyable things to do.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2017 11:33am
If the other person is not responding, then keep in mind that this one sided love will never bring you happiness. Aim for your goal. There is a tough competition out there, and you started your journey to make your dreams come true. Those dreams will make you move on.
JollyJackOLantern
September 11th, 2017 5:20pm
If you are still in love with the other person it takes time to move on. Its hard to move on if you are still in contact with the other person. Personally I write out all my feelings to help me get over the other person
NowisRebirth
October 30th, 2017 8:51pm
Am actually still figuring that but i think focusing on what you're good at like.. writing, painting, studying etc . Helps a lot because just then you do realize that your self worth and confidence is bigger than tieing it to someone's attention. Actually a therapist here sent me this: “It happens like this. "One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else--closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel--one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them--even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering--the reason for their presence will become clear in due time." Though, here is a word of warning--you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled; the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more." -Lang Leav And keeping it in mind helped me a lot. At the end remember that: if you love something let it go if it came back to you then it was yours from the start
Anonymous
November 13th, 2017 9:36am
I make him love me and if he does not, I will continue my life and be confident that someday I will meet those who love me
Anonymous
December 12th, 2017 2:40am
By focusing in your future and what you want to accomplish. Love is energy that you carry with you, and even if it didn’t work that energy will bring you to the next step. Remember to be grateful for the time it last, accept the learning experience and move it to the future. Ask yourself, what did I learn and how I will use it to better myself? Good luck.
Hanaa00
June 4th, 2019 9:02am
Oh my... honestly, this is something i need to answer for myself first, as i am in the same situation at the moment. I am on my journey of moving on, and I’m taking baby steps, which is okay. I don’t want to lie to myself by saying that I’m over someone I’m not, so it’s really okay to take time. I try to move on by starting a new chapter in my life that’s simply without him; i hang out more with my friends, i focus on other people who matter in my life. And although i often need to remind myself of my own qualities and self worth that isn’t associated with him but simply with me and who i am as a person, i am eventually going to be okay with not having him in my life.
Victosha
February 11th, 2020 8:47pm
From a young age, I learned that people the closest to you, are the ones that will hurt you the most. I learned that attachment, is a dangerous thing, because nothing will hurt as mush as your own expectations of someone. The faster someone learns to let go of attachment, and let people you love go, the easier it will get to bear the pain of losing that loved one. I know it sounds harsh, and that people will argue, but that’s the sad, hard reality and truth. The faster you realize that nothing is permanent, the easier life gets.
ann12720
April 6th, 2020 8:32pm
I describe my personal experience: In September my boyfriend and I broke up. I thought I was going to get over it soon and that's because he treated me not very well, but the reality is that no, it is not easy. At the beginning I was in the stage of wanting to go back with him, of crying around the corners, it was like I couldn't saw no way out. Now that we are in April, I am doing much better, but I still cannot say that I have forgotten him, I wish ... My best friend gave me a really helpful advice, wich is remembering all the bad things he did to me (or, in case he didn't hurt you, remembering all the bad things related with him), instead of remembering the good ones. I promise you it is very useful. It doesn't automatically magically turn the page, but it helps a lot. In my case, I also have it more difficult, because he is also my classmate, that is, I have to see him every day. But I'm sure it's a matter of time: the longer I go without seeing him and nothing, the sooner I will forget until he falls into oblivion. I think time is the key, but there is no recipe or anything like that. Friends, spending your time on things you like to do, studies and above all, not stalking his social networks, they are things that help a lot too, I wish you the best of luck!
warmRainfalling
December 14th, 2020 11:04pm
The truth is, you will never stop loving that person - and that is okay. Love changes. It one day won't be romantic love but rather loving them for the person that they helped you become, and loving the memories you shared. It won't be easy, but this shift will happen naturally over time. So don't try to rush this process, it will only make it harder. During this time it is important that you come to terms with loving yourself again, you have this extra love - give it to yourself... you deserve it! Again, it won't be easy and it will take time but you can do it, I believe in you.