How long will it take me to get over them? What's the fastest way to stop caring about them?

24 Answers
Last Updated: 12/24/2018 at 9:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Greece
Moderated by

Johanna Liasides, MSc

Psychologist

I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.

Top Rated Answers
AndBeyond
November 2nd, 2015 11:11pm
Sometimes you will never really get over them, and sometimes you will always care, but just remember that you will learn and grow from this experience and when that right one comes along, you will know that every step you took to reach that point was worth it
Pri009
September 5th, 2016 12:01pm
Fastest way to stop caring about someone is to love yourself. Try to think of the activities that you enjoyed in the past and recall why you loved doing those. Immerse yourself in those activities, cultivate a new hobby, socialise, immerse yourself in work. That usually helps me.
raza7
June 7th, 2016 12:25am
As long as it needs. Healing process can be taken as the process of evolving into a better version of yourself. Fastest way to make it stop hurting is to forgive them and wish them all the best, and then letting go.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2018 7:37pm
Don't stop caring. Don't be in a hurry. The two goals (that we all have at first) are red herrings. The real challenge is to find something (notice I didn't say someone) else to care about. The first thing to care about is yourself. It's going to take time, it's going to take faith (in yourself, in the idea that things will get better, in your maker if you like.) but most importantly, you will get better. And poof, out of the blue there is someone new interested in this vibrant, healthy person. You.
AshlynDPowell
March 2nd, 2015 8:42pm
Instead of focusing on a time period, think about yourself, and get to know yourself again. By shifting your attention to your own needs, you can help yourself heal and recover, making yourself emotionally available for the next lucky person.
shiningDay13
March 16th, 2015 6:28am
Everyone moves on at their own rate. You may get over them quickly after a few weeks, or it may take months for you to fully be done. The fastest way to stop caring about them is to take that energy and use it to care for yourself more.
PashT007
April 13th, 2015 5:08pm
Don't focus on getting over them, focus on becoming a better you. When you know that you are done the nest thing to do is to accept the situation for what it truly is and place your focus on your well being and wants.
everythingisalright
May 19th, 2015 6:25am
Do activities! Think about what is good for yourself. And push yourself to do thing even if you don't want to.
Tuscany
June 15th, 2015 2:22am
There is no set time for getting over somebody you loved. There is also no one set way to get over them either. I'm so sorry I don't have a single fix for getting over a past love, but allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship. Don't try to rush yourself. :)
lovelyLynx18
June 21st, 2015 11:16pm
Like I said before, there are no timelines to get over someone. You will always care for them. It might not be as much as it once was but you will care about them. I had someone I love cheat on me and I still care for them. I don't love them anymore but I care about them.
wonderfulTurtle53
September 1st, 2015 2:06am
Learn to be alone and enjoy it. Do things for yourself. Develop yourself and focus on only you. Do something new and exciting. Maybe try work on your health or fitness. Realise that being apart from them is the best thing for you and now you can actually move forward! Remember, you're never alone in how you feel. A lot of people are trying to get over someone too.
Arac
September 21st, 2015 1:18pm
Everyone is different when it comes to getting over someone, so there's no set time: It could be weeks, months or years. However, take comfort in fact that time heals all wounds: At first you'll think of them every day and it will hurt, but eventually a day will come when you realise you didn't think of them all day. Then a week, and eventually you won't think of them more than once or twice a year and it won't hurt like hell when you do. Just give it time.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2015 3:40pm
i dont know who this them is but if you like music and have a goal as well then just focus towards accomplishing it and listen to motivational music life doesn't end if people leave so stop stressing too much :)
lexi2420
November 16th, 2015 12:46am
There is no set time to get over someone. The best way to begin healing is to focus on the positive areas of your life such as your friends, family, work, etc.
OnlineFriend123
December 8th, 2015 4:29pm
There is no one "right time frame" that it takes someone to stop caring. It's okay to be upset, and normal to continue caring about someone following a breakup. Try implementing some strategies to help deal with the difficult pain: have a "call instead" or "text instead" buddy; try to keep from talking to your ex for a few weeks to give yourself time to heal. Make sure you also keep compassion for yourself, healing takes time!
Anonymous
December 15th, 2015 8:45am
When you find yourself fresh out of a relationship, it is important to look at the future. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, it is crucial to recognize how important your feelings are and whether or not you are being treated appropriately. Once you have made the final decision to separate from your partner, it is important that you refrain from contacting them via text message or social media. It is best to remove anything that reminds you of them on a regular basis, such as any possessions of theirs or any of their social media that you may follow. There is no way to tell how long it may take to get over them, but you can speed the process up by keeping busy and being yourself. Keep doing things you enjoy and keep your eyes on the future! There will come a day when things reach a new normal, and you'll have learned from your experience along the way.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2015 2:11am
There's no timescale. Everything happens for a reason and one day you will wake up and be like yeah who
saltywhale
December 29th, 2015 3:26pm
For me, i will think about them as much as I want cause one day i'll get bored and it will become nothing to me and I will watch movie, sing ,hang out and live a life like I deserve.
PeaceWalker
May 23rd, 2016 6:33am
Probably a lot longer than you'll be willing to allow. Allowing time to pass and your wounds to heal.
Greatlistener87
June 27th, 2016 7:21am
The idea is to let go and move on. Easier said than done of cause but not impossible. Know that what happened happened and now here you are so what can u do from here.
kindheartedVision39
January 2nd, 2017 7:39pm
How long it takes for you to get over someone varies. My best advice is to let yourself feel the sadness. Cry if you need to. Take a day or two off of work. Spend the day in bed if you want to. But don't let this be a way of life. If the crying, missing work, or staying in bed goes on for multiple days in a row, seek medical advice. The next part of healing is to focus on yourself. Get massages, have your nails done, sign up for a class, spend time with friends. It's not good to avoid feeling your feelings, but it's also helpful to keep yourself busy (balance the two). In my opinion, it's best not to start dating too soon. You need to heal first. The way I know I'm ready to start dating again is when I'm happy with myself and my life. I'm a firm believer that we shouldn't look for someone to complete us (sorry Jerry Maguire)... we should be complete on our own and be with someone who is complete on their own.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2017 1:34pm
Anything that helps to let out steam and exhaust you. Whether that be running, art, hard homework. One thing that I found to help me, is getting a tarp, putting it up agains a wall, and some super cheap glass plates, then throwing the plates at the tarp, and the shattering of said plates is just a huge stress relief.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2017 2:31am
Nobody can give a solid time estimate of how soon can you move on. Fastest way to stop caring is to give yourself the chance to grieve properly and completely. Cry all you need/ want. Then start introducing new things into your life. Hobbies, interests, new friends etc. Change your environment as much as you can.
LoveNala
December 24th, 2018 9:14pm
It depends on how long the relationship was and how deeply you felt for them. What advice would you give a friend in a similar position? here's what I would say, Be patient with yourself. Be kind. You are worth so much more than you are aware of and once you realise that, you begin to appreciate why you should care more about your emotional and mental well being. Part of caring is knowing how and when to let go. Knowing who or what is meant to stay in your life. Sometimes it takes time but give yourself time to heal. One day you may look back and be shocked at how well you managed it