How long will it take me to learn the proper paths to forgiveness?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 07/16/2018 at 10:27pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2015 7:58am
There are no proper paths. There simply is what is. Forgiveness is a process of accepting and letting go, and understanding that the past cannot be changed. Anger keeps you imprisoned in the past an unable to move on. Forgiveness is the key to freedom.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2015 10:41pm
It's a long way, and will take longer then expected but, you need to learn patience before forgiveness, because you can't play soccer or football without have the skills and balance and that's the same with forgiveness give it time and it's right and it'll come to and right in front of you in no time
Anonymous
February 19th, 2015 1:48am
It's hard to say; it differs for every person, and for what actually happened. If you did something wrong, the first step is to learn how to forgive yourself. If someone wronged you, then the first step involves them making a real effort to gain back your trust. What that looks like to you may look different to someone else.
SenpaiXD
April 20th, 2015 11:01am
There are no proper paths to forgiveness. There are multiple paths. Just like 2+2 = 4 and 1+3 = 4. Learning to accept is the best fundamental mindset to have.
Tuscany
May 7th, 2015 6:55am
Unfortunately, there is no set answer for this. Some people forgive overnight and others may take years. Don't beat yourself up over it though. :D
Anonymous
May 14th, 2015 6:19pm
It's all a matter of trial and error. Forgiveness is tough to give especially when you don't want to give it. But once you do, you will feel so much better about whatever situation you may find yourself in where forgiveness is necessary.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2015 3:53pm
This can take quite a long time. It takes personal growth and development, as well as enough life experience.
kindNarwhal34
August 11th, 2015 2:46am
I think it depends more on how well we understand the concept of forgiveness itself. Forgiveness does not mean that the other person's actions are okay but rather its about wanting to heal yourself. Forgiveness actually has little to do with the person that caused you harm and has a lot to do with letting go so that you can be happy. Its about understanding that there are more important things for you to accomplish and strive for in your life instead of being focused on anger, resentment and sufferring.
sprout92
August 11th, 2015 2:24pm
In my experience, forgiveness can be an ongoing process. We can't expect ourselves to be able to completely "shut off" our feelings forever, or to never be triggered or feel anger towards someone again. However, WANTING to forgive is the first step, and perhaps the hardest step of all. So if you've made it there, you've made it a long way already.
Tinygreentreefrog1234
September 22nd, 2015 2:07am
It will take as long as your perspective will allow. Some want to forgive others don't. Also allow yourself time to process your emotions you need to do that in order to process how you feel and finally move on if you choose.
ShinraBanshou
September 29th, 2015 12:24am
It varies alot from person to person, In fact I don't think there is such a thing as a proper path to forgiveness. What's Important is that you Understand, No matter how long it takes. That the sins aren't a factor any more. Only the future.
bubblyeater21
February 23rd, 2016 3:01pm
forgiveness is all about yourself. People have their own personal preferences about forgiveness and whether or not someone deserves forgiveness for what theyve done- only you can decide what type of forgiveness you want to follow.
Greatlistener87
July 18th, 2016 1:21am
To forgive someone is to let go, and that is always easier said then done. But if u an accept what happened and you can move forward from that, then u are ready to forgive.
Anonymous
November 1st, 2016 7:00pm
It doesn't matter how much time it takes.. The moment we start thinking about forgiveness,we are already a step ahead
Kkxxrr
March 19th, 2018 11:41pm
theres not a set time, it takes as long as it takes and you need to make sure youre putting your emotional wellbeing and needs first, take your time, dont rush and allow yourself to think - youll get there.
Silverrose25
July 16th, 2018 10:27pm
Learning the proper paths to forgiveness is different for everyone and every situation It takes a bit of time you also have to remember forgiveness isn't the same as forgetting you are just letting go of the hurt and anger you're feeling