Moderated by
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 31st, 2014 1:13am
When you look at them and you don't feel that pang as much or perhaps you won't feel it at all. When hearing their name doesn't make you want to cry or smash a wall. When you remember everything, but don't want to go back.
When you feel the peace inside yourself and when you stop thinking about the whatifs. When you're ok with you, and when you accept that it is over, and that there're nothing you can do about it.
Anonymous
January 11th, 2016 3:31pm
if you can go a whole day without having the desire to call them, or message them etc. Then i think you're ready to move on. In my opinion, sometimes you can never fully get over someone, you may be with the love of your life in 10 years but still care for your girlfriend from when you were 16. Everyone you've ever been with holds a special place in your heart no matter what :)))))
When you can converse about them with ease example, when the pain you once felt had left your system and the worlds flow out with ease. When you stop checking their social media sites, something we're all guilty of. Just as you know when you're in love with someone, you know when you're over someone. Enjoy and embrace the company and attention of others.
You should know when you're over someone when you find yourself not thinking about them anymore. Also when you find yourself not trying to see what they're up to all the time.
I think the best tell-tale sign of this is when you find yourself thinking about that person a lot less.
You'll know your over someone when they no longer appear so perfect to you. They no longer keep you up at night, and you no longer notice everything they do. Speaking from my own experience of getting over someone, of course.
You will no longer care about what they are doing or who they talk to. If they text or call you, it will be perfect to respond formally.
There may not be one instant where you go - "Aha! I am finally over them!" It may happen gradually. You'll think of them less & less. Then, one day, you'll realize it's been 6 months since you've even thought about them.
You will slowly feel this and it can take time but you will know in your heart, it will all pass, everything takes time
When you stop thinking about them, worrying about them, and thinking of ways yo get them back. Life is to short to dwell over one person.
When the fact that they are not in your life does not disturb or negatively affect you anymore. You hold no grudge towards them. And whenever you remember them, you do not feel hatred but wish well for them wherever they are and whatever they might be doing.
I have struggled with this question as well..
Am I truely over him?or is it that I am too busy,trying to avoid listening to my thoughts..occupying myself with anything and everything so I can forget his very existence..Then one day I woke up and it wasnt a struggle anymore ,the mention of his name dint steal away my peace,the thought of bumping into him at the supermarket aisle didn't startle my little heart...what he did or didn't do was no longer a concern for me...In that moment...I felt peace...a little clarity... I let out a little sigh of relief...its over ..truely over:)
If you're over someone, what happened in the past would stay in the past. You may still feel happy when you think about the happy days, or feel hurt when the bad memories come up, but you'll know that your life goes on. You manage your life well, and you're willing to go out to date someone else committedly. You are able to accept that you have gone separate ways, and you do not constantly think about him/her. :)
I don't think there is any epiphany moment of being over someone. It just takes time, and the amount of time it takes differs for each person. Just try not to worry about it too much, and live your life to the fullest for yourself and with time you will heal.
You should know your over somebody by not caring about them. Also by not talking or seeing them. Not being upset about them.
If your over someone, you do not feel any need to please them. You might even have feelings for someone else, but either way you will feel happy.
Anonymous
December 21st, 2015 9:14pm
You should be over someone when you hear their name a lot of flashbacks don't happen. When you are over someone you should be able to talk about them without feeling hate or dispare.
If you are able to look back with no resentment then you know you are over someone, that is,when you can be comfortable with their progress in moving on. and yours as well with no hard feelings.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2015 5:51pm
A good way to know you're over someone is when you can begin to remember good times you've shared without that piercing heartache. When you can wish them well, and really mean it, you're probably getting to that point.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2015 8:27pm
The day when you hear that song on the radio, and it dosent effect you anymore and when you see them with someonelse and it dosent matter
Anonymous
July 14th, 2015 11:57pm
It's difficult to point out exactly when you'll be over someone. One way you tell that you're starting to get over them is when you feel comfortable with the idea of being with or getting with someone else that isn't them.
When you can fall asleep without them being the last person you think about at night. When it all just hurts a bit less. When you can look at old pictures and not become an emotional wreck. When you've accepted that you need to move on and you've stopped plotting for reconciliation.
It vary, but basically when you stop thinking more about the person and also you are capable of loving someone else or you love someone else a lot.....
It defers from person to person, for me, it's when I can think about them and think of good times without missing them. When you can share your memories of the time you spent together without it hurting you.
When you can look at them and not have the urge to be their significant other or when you find your not worried about them anymore.
You'll know when you're over someone when your infatuation for their love has left you. I once felt that an ex of mine was my world, and when she left me it felt like the end of that world. However, time heals all wounds when it comes to relationships, and once my infatuation for her love had left me, I knew I could get on with my life freely.
You'll notice because the things you once associated to that person, it won't hurt. You'll stop thinking about them, you'll kind of forget them in a sense. You'll just move on. But everyone differs and all. You'll be okay.
They just don’t matter as much anymore. You might not be completely hate them or not care. You can just care less and you genuinely change around them. Not having the tingles and sometimes the sympathy with things they do.
You will know when you are over someone when you don't have to ask if you're over them. If you are still asking then there's still a connection.
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