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How to forgive someone who cheated on you?

263 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 5:05pm
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Top Rated Answers
ResourcefulListener
July 28th, 2018 6:22pm
Life is to short to hang on to hurt. You never forget but always remind yourself that love and forgiveness goes hand in hand.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2017 11:05am
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes sometimes that leads to hurt feelings of people. Just keep one thing in your mind that is Forgive and Forget. It requires lot of courage to forgive someone but once you do it you will feel like so much relieving. Just move on and never think about that again. If you want to make that someone realize his/her mistake just forgive them and don't turn back. You will surely be happy and stress free. Holding on grudges will only make you depress.
WonderfullTree
July 20th, 2018 3:23pm
First things first; take some time to yourself. You might be upset and angry so making decisions in the heat of the moment is something you should avoid. Second; Ask yourself how much this person means to you. Third; Set a very clear rule at what moments the topic of the cheating can be discussed(especially if you have kids) Fourth; Make sure your partner is committed to making the changes needed. Do remember that commitment is a two way street. Both you and your partner must be equally committed to the relationship Fifth; At a point you will start noticing their commitment is paying off, and they are regaining your trust slowly. Here is where I find you will be able to naturally forgive them.
annakx
July 20th, 2016 2:28pm
It is very difficult to discover someone has been unfaithful. But, since something like this did happen, I don't know if you should consider forgiveness. All I can say is that someone who truly loves another person won't ever cheat on them. Because that takes the love part away. However every situation is different and complicated and I can understand that. You don't deserve being cheated on, though in any case. That's what you should have in mind and base your thoughts on.
WarmMilkAndCookies
July 13th, 2016 8:13am
Why wasn't I good enough? Am I ugly? Am I stupid? Boring? Fat? Worthless? Why? What's wrong with me? These are the thoughts that poured through my head in the moments after heartbreak. I was so certain that somehow I was to blame. That it was somehow my failing that lead to her actions. The anger came later, slow, creeping, and a thousand times more damaging to myself than it was to her. She broke my heart and it never felt a thing. The stupid, uncaring, heartless, good for nothing, unforgivab-- Unforgivable? Really? She hurt you. There is absolutely no denying the singular fact that the ache, the one you buried deep in your heart; the one you only bring out when no one else is there to see, is the ache she caused. But is it truly unforgivable? Or can your find it within yourself to look past the ache, to look past the anger you use to mask your pain, and forgive her? I hope so. I have to hope so. But how do I forgive this wound? She struck a deeper wound than I have ever known. How do I forgive something like that? You walk a mile, you take a deep breath, and you look for the real reasons. It wasn't you, nothing your did nor any failing on your part caused this to happen. But it wasn't her either. Not truly. It was, instead, the pain in her life. Some struggle. Some heartache. Some loss. There was something that was simply beyond her ability to properly cope with, and it drove her to make a choice she probably regrets. She wanted some respite, some temporary salve for her wound, and so she made a mistake. And perhaps that mistake means that you can never trust her with your heart again, but it doesn't mean that you can't forgive her. She is hurt too. The sword she cut with was double edged. Indiscriminate. So maybe I couldn't forgive a heartless, thoughtless person who hurt me for no reason at all. This was a heart I once loved, once carried so closely to my own, and I know that, in truth, this was not an act with reason. And because of it she's now as hurt as I am, perhaps even more so. It won't be easy. It won't be simple. And maybe there are some things I couldn't look past. But a broken and bleeding soul? That I can forgive.
Ibearhugyou
July 10th, 2016 10:35pm
If that person cheated for whatever reason, the real question is do they really love you? If you want to forgive someone who cheated, you have to keep in mind that it will be hard to forget. First what you have to do is ask them, why they do it?. What made them make the decision. Understand the reasons why they did it. Forgive them from the heart, and I know it's really hard to forgive someone who cheated. But if you love them, you have to put aside what they did. Especially if they love you too. Try to not overthink their bad decision because it's the past. Learn to love them again. Relive your past experiences with them, relive those emotions like when you guys were first starting to talk. The feelings you had inside when they saw you. The smile on your face when the talked to you. How happy you were with that person, and how alive they made you feel. :) Whenever you are with the person, think of those beautiful moments you had together and so on. Just be careful because you might get hurt again. Think about if you still want to be with that person.
Flawlessinsanity21
July 9th, 2016 12:36am
The only way to forgive them is to choose to forgive them. That will definitely be very hard at first, but with time and evidence/proof from them that shows they are no longer doing such things and are trying to be good to you, you will be able to forgive them. Time heals all wounds, no matter how big. Remember that.
YellowDaydream
July 3rd, 2016 10:21am
Forgiving is very hard, and it's even harder in that case. But after a brief period of grieving your past relationship and being angry at the person, you will realise that you deserve better. You did not deserve to be cheated on. And today, you do not deserve to feel awful because of this person. Forgiving is a very important step to move on. It does not justify the wrong but instead does not allow it to affect us anymore. Forgiving also helps us to see the positive as we are choose to free ourselves from the negative feelings. Best of luck x
ratboi
June 5th, 2016 5:22am
first of all, understand that you dont have to forgive them if you dont want to. but if you do, know that even though what they did was wrong, they arent a bad person.
Raspberrycheesecake
May 31st, 2018 4:54pm
You just have to learn how to trust them again. it can be hard, but with the right amount of time and attitude, you can slowly forgive them.
Sunisshiningandsoareyou
July 9th, 2021 7:14am
I am sorry to hear you've been cheated on, it is honestly a very awful experience, so valid to feel shaken up and lose trust and feel confused about future. It is extremely commendable to even think about forgiving someone who did us wrong, you're such a strong person for considering it, I feel more than for the other person, it is important for us to forgive and let go , because past can't be changed , we can only accept it and learn our lesson and move forwards, however we can take all the time to accept and move past it , no rush . Forgiving helps us feel lighter and open to new things and people in life, after letting old stuff go . Perhaps it would help to accept what happened and then look out for yourself assuring that the worst is over, you're free from someone who wasn't worth your time and efforts and can now make space for someone who is loyal and for you, in between, it is needed to ignite our self love and do things good for us, what we find enjoyable and comforting to us .
Anonymous
October 20th, 2018 6:54am
The easiest way to forgive someone who hurt you in any way is to realize that attachment is the root of suffering. If someone cheated on you, try to look in the mirror and ask yourself "Why did they do it?" Did you do something to provoke their actions? Did you try honestly communicating with them. If you really feel you haven't done anything, then you can be certain to understand that whatever you went through is only a reflection of who cheated/hurt you. This may not be the most pragmatic way to deal with this situation however, it certainly is the most sensible - to avoid further conflict and bursts of rage and bring some clarity in mind.
Anonymous
August 29th, 2018 8:03am
When someone cheats on you, your mind and emotions scream at you to hate, punish and never forgive. It’s hard to let go of those feelings. Nonetheless, forgiving someone for cheating will actually benefit the faithful person more than the cheater. The anger we feel after infidelity is like a poison that lives in us. Forgiveness is the antidote and the only way to move on. You should try to forgive someone for cheating, but only once you understand what forgiveness means and how you can achieve it.Even when you know you should forgive and why you should do it, taking that step can seem almost impossible. Be patient and know there is nothing wrong with seeking help.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 7:55am
Forgiving is hard, but forgetting is harder. Cheating is something that is done conscious by a human being and it would be really hard to forgive that person, but if you do manage to forgive that person wholeheartedly, you'll feel lighter and better than you are right now.
JadeWadey2001
March 8th, 2018 4:39pm
To forgive is to settle with an issue and move forward. In relationships, trust is set between the couple in which is the basis of feeling comfortable and confident with one another. To forgive someone who has cheated on you will enable for you to forward as well as understand that what happened has happened and cannot be undone. Although emotional pain may be present, the only way to move forward is by understanding and forgiving otherwise it would remain an issue.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 2:04pm
I don't think I would be able to forgive someone, but if they proved they wouldn't do it again and proved their loyalty towards them, I might give them a second chance.
originalLove71
February 26th, 2018 8:45am
If you keep the anger, frustration or hatred inside yourself then those negative feelings won't harm that someone even a bit but on the other hand you will be the one feeling that pain again and again. So instead of keeping it inside, just let it go.
HopefulSloth21
February 21st, 2018 7:36pm
This really depends how guilty is the person feeling after being cheater. The trust would be very difficult to build again and take years. Depends on situation and the reason of cheating if forgiveness is deserved and also on the length of the relationship because if it has been done in early stages say couple of months, then I wouldn't personally bother with someone like that. If its 5 years of relationship then all you can do is talk about it.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2018 4:08am
Learn to forgive and forget, if they prove themselves to you, meaning they prove their love for you, then they simply made a mistake. We’re all human and we make mistakes.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2018 5:44am
This is very tough on you and your esteem - I know because I've been there (: I can tell you that by forgiving that person, you will actually do yourself a favor. See, if you don't forgive them, it doesn't make a difference to them. It only limits your productivity and social interaction. Accept what happened, close that person like another chapter of life, place that chapter aside where it'll get buried under layers of dust, and move on (:
Anonymous
October 11th, 2018 3:21pm
The best way to be able to forgive is to have an open and honest discussion with each other especially with a therapist present. In order to heal and get over this, you must take the necessary steps to get better separately and as a couple. Personally, It would be very hard for me to forgive my partner for cheating but I would do my best to see where everything went wrong or could have been better. It is important not to blame ourselves for other people's actions and/or reactions. We should also not lose our core values and stand by what we believe. If we let people walk all over us, we will never achieve full happiness. Boundaries are important.
GEMINIALDRIDGE8D
October 13th, 2018 10:18pm
You shouldn’t feel you have to. It isn’t wrong to feel betrayed by someone who has cheated on you. You aren’t wrong for not forgiving them. In my eyes, they shouldn’t be able to forgive themselves. You may be able to forgive them eventually, but you may also never forgive them. It’s one of those things where only time will tell. This is because it can depend on many factors, including your connection to who it was with and how much you have been hurt by it. For example, if it was a drunk one night stand it may be easier to forgive the cheater than if it was with your best friend. Don’t feel you have to forgive them. And don’t promise yourself that you can. Many people can’t. As I said it can depend on a lot of things.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2019 2:10am
In order to forgive them, you have to see a genuine change in their personality. They must be willing to truly become more committed and loyal - only then can the healing process truly begin. From there, you can forgiveness becomes possible, because in a way, you know that the person made a mistake and is repenting for it. Being with someone who merely talks without backing up their words with actions ultimately leads to only further pain and suffering down the road. That's why I think you have to observe a genuine change in a person before you can forgive them and move on.
EmpatheticSeashell007
September 4th, 2019 2:31pm
It is difficult, not impossible. Speaking out of experience, do it for yourself. Because hate and hurt, both are heavy. Forgive them for not seeing your worth, forgive them for choosing someone else, forgive them for making a mistake. You don't necessarily have to get back with them after forgiving them. Let them go, along with your pain. It took me a while too, but I came to terms with it eventually. It's like leaving things on time. Revenge just brings temporary happiness or just the adrenaline rush. Be the bigger and better person for yourself. Let it go.
GodwithinU
April 17th, 2019 6:39am
Forgiving is the only option you have I guess if you understand the true nature of reality. Whatever happens in one's life is entirely controlled by one's destiny and not by people and places. Though we have this perception that people and things in our life makes us feel the way we are feeling but that is nothing more than an illusion created for us to evolve and nothing else. For you to better understand that you need to know that you were to have an experience of being cheated and that was your destiny. The person who cheated upon you could have been different but you were meant to experience it. Similarly the person who cheated upon you had to have an experience of cheating someone which was again controlled by his/her destiny. So understand one thing today that noone else is responsible for the happenings in your life. It is you who accumulated certain good and bad deeds which are now shaping your life. So take life with open heart and don't blame anyone or anything as the things which happen in your life are purely controlled by your own destiny. And one may find different answers to this question but better to understand life in it's true form otherwise different things will have different answers and whole of your life will be spent finding the answers to useless question. Know yourself and you will understand that answer to each question lies inside you.
Nakshatra
March 20th, 2019 1:34pm
When someone cheats on you, our mind becomes a chaotic place. You blame yourself, you blame your partner, you blame the person they cheated with, you blame the relationship. It is most important to first talk yourself out of blaming yourself for the actions and choices of another person. Once you are confident about that, you embark on the journey of forgiving your partner. Know that what they did was circumstantial/impulsive/irrational. Understand that as human beings, we tend to convince ourselves to do things we normally wouldn't- and these thoughts are probably driven by negative emotions. Condemn the incident, but forgive the doer- to protect your energy as well. Holding onto the hate/anger will only wreck your peace of mind. Why should you go through negativity that you aren't responsible for? Forgive the thought process that led them to commit that mistake but know that their mistakes don't define them. Concentrate on how they see their doing- are they sorry about it? Do they want to work it out? If you want to work it out as well, concentrate on how to go back to being happy. Treat the problem as an opportunity/wake up call to fix/come up with beautiful solutions to work through together.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2019 4:37pm
Well, I would say to you set yourself free from this person actions. Because it does not do you any good to try to be mad at this person. It's all about you and not this person because in the long run you are actually hurting yourself with stress and unwanted anxiety. It want be easy but you can muster up the strength to let it go or to even move on from this relationship. I know too many people that have wasted years of their life with hate. The one thing I would say to you is do you still believe that you can have a life with this person if not you probably just want to walk away before you get hurt even more.
twopeasinapod
February 8th, 2019 12:38pm
It's really not easy but ultimately forgiveness doesn't mean that you condone their behavior. Forgiveness is a way to allow your self to accept and move. Forgiveness frees you from being a prisoner of anger and bitterness and means that you will not allow the person to have that hold onto you anymore. It really is'nt easy and cannot happen overnight , but it's a journey of discovery and realization along the way . Taking the first step is the hardest but it does get easier once you've decided. Forgiveness allows you to bring love again into your life because we're looking forward to the future and not lamenting on the past .
happylistener333
December 16th, 2018 5:27pm
Firstly find out the situation and understand why they did it. Once you are able to, see if they are genuinely sorry and that they’re able to show more respect for you and your relationship. If you’re able to move on from the situation then you will be able to forgive. You don’t want to constantly hold it over your partners head and use it against them. Resentment isn’t a healthy thing, but being cautious is completely understandable. Work through your problems together, see if your relationship is tenable and see if this cheating was an anomaly or something that can be forgiven.
GazelleOfGaz
November 23rd, 2018 7:22pm
if someone cheat on you, that means the love you gave wasn't enough for him. or you are no more what he desires. if he cheat on you that means he is confused or unsure about the relationship. if he cheats on you means your relationship was weak. if he cheat on you just forgive him and move on. because feelings change and it is okay to let go of what hurts you. if he cheat on you try to remember the happy moments and forget the bad. forgive and forget is the key of a healthy lifestyle. talk to the person who cheated on you. ask for a reason and then if you can fix the problem it is good to continue with trust. just don't hurt yourself and blame your fate for his actions