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How to forgive someone who cheated on you?

235 Answers
Last Updated: 11/21/2020 at 6:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy

Psychologist

I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 8th, 2016 3:39am
Forgiviness is insid you. If you you're trapped in sorrow or anger it will only hurt. You have to brake the chains that latch you on to poisoning thoughts. Just because you forgave someone, it doesn't mean you'll get back together. It just your on terms with yourself.
RobVL
July 8th, 2016 4:56pm
The big big big thing here is that you should not forgive them just for the sake of forgiving. You should forgive them for your sake as well. No matter who says what, unless the other person is a heartless individual, whatever happened has hurt both parties in some form or another. Carrying resentment is never healthy. So forgive them, and let it go. It will make a worlds difference to you. Oh, and by the way, you don't have to tell someone face to face, or otherwise, that you forgive them ;)
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 6:22pm
Well.. forgive someone becausee when we don't forget someone.. its like we still giving them importance.. maybe we don't love them now.. but hate is there..and they don't even deserve your hatred.. forgive them.. so the thing which is holding you from moving on, would be not be there now. Forgive them and move on..
Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 3:29am
Know they are not meant for you. You are worth more. Don't be angry, just be at peace knowing someone else will be waiting for you.
pie
July 16th, 2016 5:53am
I personally wouldn't forgive them fully--I would forgive them for MYSELF. I analyze what happened. Why did they cheat? Why does it hurt me so much? What do I personally need to do to forgive, and how can I learn from what happened?
Anonymous
July 17th, 2016 10:38am
Dear, I have been cheated on in the past, and I started hating him for choosing someone else over me. One day I realized that hating your ex is a form of love - it means I still was not over him. I decided to forgive him because I wanted to eliminate the feelinge I had for him, and let go. I also forgave him because without him cheating on me I would have never grown as a human - he helped me to understand the pain of losing someone, which led me to become stronger. I met a wonderful man lately who loves me wholeheartedly, and I thank my ex for letting me go to discover this amazing man. I forgave him for teaching me the art of letting go.
ThaliaRaven
July 17th, 2016 8:55pm
Say to yourself that you are better than them, you are stronger enough to forgive them, but never forget. Don't be mean, rude, don't hate them - just let go.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2016 8:21pm
Understand that you are feeling upset but be content by interacting with other positive individuals.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 8:15am
you don't, I've learned that the hard way, you might want to but people who cheat most likely never change.
uniqueMango45
July 27th, 2016 1:00am
Stop being with them immediately first, so you can remember to love yourself and can grow distant. Then take the time (whenever you're comfortable) to talk to them and remember they're only human. Life is challenging but you can do this!
colorfulPuppy22
July 29th, 2016 5:39am
It can be very hard to forgive people and sometimes you have to decide what you want to do. Remember listen to you heart.
empathicSpace35
July 29th, 2016 12:05pm
I believe that if the person truly hurt you through cheating then you need to weigh up whether it is worth going back to them and forgiving them. It is really about what is going to make you the happiest,
Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 12:51am
You can ask the reason why it happened. Make sure you get a proper answer to all of your questions. After that weigh if what he/she did to you means more than all the good time you had together. Are you able to live with that person knowing that at some point he cheated on you? Do you feel that beside that cheat you can still trust the person? If you find yourself thinking that you can trust that person again, that you can live with the fact that the cheating happened. If all the good times and memories meant more than that cheat... maybe that's the way to forgive and give a second chance to that person. Start a new thing with that person.
lilest
August 5th, 2016 12:45am
It's a hard thing to do, but forgiving then is forgiving you for trust them that much, you don't have always to forgive people because of them, but also because of yourself, you deserve your mind in piece, they deserve to see compassion and change, and you on top of all don't deserve being in hurt. So try how much you can to forgive the person, because maybe you think they don't deserve, but you do.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2016 2:46pm
Forgiving someone who cheated on you is really hard. For me, I always go back to a cheater because they whisper sweet nothings into my ears. But now, I know that once a cheater, always a cheater.
Vincentg
August 10th, 2016 9:49pm
I think there are two prerequisites to being able to answer this question. First you have to realize their choice has nothing to do with who you are. It was their choice. Secondly there is a difference between forgiveness and trusting them again. After these two steps are met it will be relitively easy to forgive then but then it has to be their choice to earn your trust back.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 3:02am
Pass more time with family or friends because they love you and support you when you are difficult moments and forgot about love for a time !
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 3:21am
Forgive yourself first! After that, realize that it's not your fault and you're worth so much more than that.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 9:15am
Forgiveness is at once persona and universal. Personal in the sense that you need to be ready to sincerely forgive. Universal in the sense that it has the power to benefit everyone. Appreciating the true power of forgiveness, how it can heal, is the first step in being ready to offer it. But never feel guilty for not being ready to forgive.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2016 2:29pm
It is never easy to forgive someone who broke your trust or worse, change your perception of love. We must first understand that not everyone would be like that and there will be people we can trust in our life. We must first acknowledge that it not your fault & it was your significant other's decision. Forgiving someone was never easy but with time, things will get better :)
Anonymous
August 25th, 2016 4:33am
Use their wrong-doing as a lesson learned and as a new experience of emotions. Forgiveness is about not holding a grudge, and when you aren't holding a grudge you're saying that you basically forget what that person did. Don't hold it to them, basically. More importantly, don't hold it to yourself. Cheating in relationships is not rare, but i'm extremely sorry to hear that that would happen to you. I'm certainly not trying to say act like nothing happened, but instead just be cautious with your feelings and other people. Keep focus on the positivities. :)
Anonymous
August 26th, 2016 6:12pm
people make mistake and no one is perfect and to have peace in my heart and my mind i will forgive to move on
XsetarehX
August 27th, 2016 9:39am
This is difficult because sometimes i like to think that if you are once a cheater then you will always be a cheater but i guess it depends on the situation. You forgive but you don't forget.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2016 1:55pm
You have to accept their apology even if you did not really got one. For yourself and for your inner peace, you have to let go of all the hatred and grudge you hold and forgive him from your heart.
RobRH
September 7th, 2016 1:36am
Trust is way too important in a relationship. You can understand why they have done it, and they could regret it. But you have to take care of yourself, and you'll never be in a good mindframe in a relationship with someone who treats you like that. You deserve better!
blissfulSoul98
September 7th, 2016 6:39am
When someone cheats on you, your mind and emotions scream at you to hate, punish and never forgive. It's hard to let go of those feelings. Nonetheless, forgiving someone for cheating will actually benefit the faithful person more than the cheater. The anger we feel after infidelity(the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner.) is like a poison that lives in us
Shadowwing231990
September 9th, 2016 10:13am
you can forgive easily trust is what will take the time to get back and it will take a long time to,
thoughtfulPomegranate86
September 10th, 2016 12:33am
There's no rule that says you have to forgive them. First try to understand why they did it, and for some people the only way to get passed it is if you get to be with someone else too.
DylanNz
September 10th, 2016 4:18pm
I personally find that forgiving cheating is not possible. The trust is gone. I have been cheated on and tried to stay with the person but it was always in the back of my mind.
SamarthHere
September 13th, 2016 8:26pm
By forgiving yourself to believe them. No one can make us feel bad if we don't let them. Forgive yourself and learn from it and forgive them and let them learn themselves. :)