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How to forgive someone who cheated on you?

235 Answers
Last Updated: 11/21/2020 at 6:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy

Psychologist

I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 14th, 2016 3:57pm
You can either wallow in self pity or forgive because forgiveness is just for the other person it is also for self
Londonkagura21
September 18th, 2016 3:10am
Sometimes it is hard to forgive someone regarding that event. But you shouldnt have to force yourself to forgive if you think its not the right thing to do. We are all human, try to take small steps at a time to trusting and forgiving that person.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:01pm
Sadly you won't forgive or forget you will learn to cope with the impact on you and the relationship, It's the most difficult thing to do,
PuppyLove13
September 18th, 2016 7:57pm
If they are actually sorry, and they show a lot of change in their behavior, you will find yourself forgiving instantly..
generousEnergy13
September 21st, 2016 6:11pm
Be a bigger person. Concentrate on your life who you want to be and show them you're better off without them
Godlovesus
September 23rd, 2016 8:55pm
Whenever you think about that person and feel angry or thinking about teaching him/her a lesson, remember you are unintentionally keeping urself attached to that person. Hate or Anger is also a kind of emotion that needs to go too with the failed relationship or else you will be stuck in the past forever.
SunnyQ
September 24th, 2016 1:54am
It's hard to forgive but when we can do it, we will find peace. Find out that someone is cheating on you is hurt, but forgiving will not hurt you, just make peace with yourself first. Forgive yourself first for not being aware
2cupsofteaa
September 24th, 2016 3:51am
It's hard. Probably the best way is to discern the reason as to why they cheated. Perhaps the relationship is going downhill, or that it was a time of emotional vulnerability? If you are experiencing a lot of difficulty to forgive though, maybe there is a reason for that. Listen to your gut feelings.
ShannonCN
October 6th, 2016 4:46pm
Sometimes you just need to let go and forgive with the he kindness of your heart because it makes you a better person and it will become easier to move on.
CrypticCoty
October 6th, 2016 9:08pm
you don't, you simply understand that either they care about you, or they do not. even when it seems like they do
KindBean2002
October 8th, 2016 2:45pm
I believe you can ask this person if the person tehy chated with you on mean something to them. Expect and crave an honest answer. If you feel safe and loved, and want to put the cheating behind you.. you can try to forgive them although it's hard
smoltimes
October 15th, 2016 2:59pm
Accept that as people, we are not perfect. You need to take steps to trust them again and remember that everyone makes mistakes. If you want a future with them, you need to let go of their mistakes.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2016 12:01am
To forgive someone that cheated on you, takes a lot of strength. Speaking from personal experience, it is not an easy task, but very doable. Look to see if they are truly apologetic in what they do, or say, and if you are willing to trust them again, or even, if you so choose, give them a second chance. You must be willing to let go of their previous actions, as everyone is not perfect, and start from square one. The best possible way to do this, is first, getting closure as to why they did do it. Just remember, no matter what they say, It isn't your fault they cheated.
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 7:24am
i hated him so much for cheating on me. i felt like cursing at him i felt like wishing bad things on him. until i felt like it wasnt worth it anymore. i wanted him to be happy. i learned to let go. and moved on.
BeautifulOutlaw
October 29th, 2016 11:38am
They have to understand, that what they did was wrong. You also have to figure out why they did what they did in the first place. They can say they're sorry a thousand times, but actions speak louder than words. Once you find out a legitimate reason on why, it'll help to move on.
Butterfly121
November 3rd, 2016 7:24pm
Cheating in a relationship is a very big betrayal of trust. It can be very hard to forgive someone who has violated your trust that way. Try and look inside yourself and see if you can trust this person again, and if you feel its possible to have trust in your relationship again in the future.
ElliotIsGoingPlaces
November 5th, 2016 6:53am
I think you forgive someone who cheated on you just by being honest with him/her more. Try having your partner be more honest too when it comes to all of that. Also, learn how to forget. If you trust your partner, then it will be okay and won't happen again possibly.
Xhanced
January 4th, 2017 7:01am
I think that forgiving someone else is hard, because we all are self conscious about ourselves already, and when it comes to cheating its hard to think you've been placed below someone else. My advice in this is that you should know that its not your fault, and that self love is self respect, and with self respect forgiving is possible, without it I feel that you are still vulnerable to it happening again.
mzpro10
January 15th, 2017 12:07am
This is a really big question. Forgiving can mean so many things to different people. The real solution is understanding the situation first. In some cases a partner cheating is a big sign for leaving the relationship. Whereas sometimes it can be a forgivable mistake. There is no definite answer on how to forgive someone who cheated, But a good start would be both parties recognizing what and why whatever happened, happened.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2017 6:31am
Realize that you're better than the person who cheated on you. No matter how hurt you are, what happened happened. You don't need to go back to talking/loving someone who cheated on you, but forgiveness is important for you to feel at peace. Make sure to forgive completely when you do finally manage to do so.
silverSnowflake65
January 19th, 2017 12:15am
Forgiving them is easy, forgetting is hard. You can forgive but can you trust again? Ask yourself if you truly care about the person, do you want to make it work and could you trust they wouldn't do it again. If the answer to any part of that is no, then you can forgive the mistake but it might be best for you to move on.
Revinjan
January 25th, 2017 10:52am
Its always acceptance , promises and all the other things . We can always forgive people for betraying us but being betrayed is as simple being stabbed in the back and you may live from those stabs but those scars wont disappear. So ... Forgiving is easy but living with those scars and being afraid that they may happen again is the hard part . It depends on you if you are willing to forgive and may add another scar
AravindSudev
January 26th, 2017 3:35pm
In order to forgive this person firstly realise the fact that forgiveness is purely a personal affair. It happens within your mind. You dont have to say that you forgive or to behave with this person as you used to. What you say or do to this person is entirely upto the situation you are in. To forgive just means to let go of the burden you are carrying against this person for you to feel lighter. If you find that hard then that is because at some point in your mind you might believe that if you let go of the anger, this person might do it again. In fact the resentment you hold inside yourself has nothing to do with the outcome. Forgiving someone doesnt mean forgetting the lesson
avamadueno22
January 26th, 2017 9:43pm
It's hard, I won't lie and say that you can just forgive someone when they do that. There's nothing justified about cheating, and you're almost cautious about them cheating on you again. You are better than that, being with someone who cheats on you and treats you like that. People usually don't forgive someone for cheating on them fully. They might allow them in their life and be friends with them, if any, but most of the time the chance to be together the way it was is a no.
CaptainObviouslyOblivious
February 19th, 2017 12:18am
Here's the thing about forgiving someone - You can forgive them, but you can never forget. Trust is a very frail, beautiful thing, and when it's been trod upon you can't go back to where you used to be. You have to be the one to decide if it's worth it, and worth moving past to commit to rebuilding that trust.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2017 8:01pm
You have to let go. You have to forgive because that's what life's about. Forgiveness is the key to all.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2017 5:11pm
You should forgive not because that person deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Firstly make clear to yourself the exact meaning of forgiveness for you, do you want to let the person to come in your life again or do you want to live without having any contact with that person, but without any grudges for him/her. You are taking a risk of trusting him/her again, in case you decide to be with that person, Either way you are accepting the person and making a decision of trusting again, it is hard but whatever you choose should make you feel better,
EricaAnne
March 2nd, 2017 8:01am
You're not obliged to forgive someone who cheated on you because the damage done is irreversible. However, you can choose how you handle the situation. Are you going to make peace with the person, or are you going to take revenge? There are good ways and there are better ways to deal with negativity. Part of maturity is knowing when to let a matter rest, and when to take action. The person who cheated on you will face the consequences for his actions later on in life.
TisKimmyChii
April 6th, 2017 7:47am
Well it takes work but from both parties. You of course will have trust issues and that's reasonable because of what happened. However your partner needs to understand that they have to work to regain that trust and it doesn't just come back. It could take months to even years depending on the severity of what they've done. They have to be open about everything. Giving you full access to whatever you need to make you comfortable but you shouldn't hold it over their head ever chance you can. They made a mistake and they know it. They already feel bad for what they've done and continuing to bring it up will only cause more issues. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. You can forgive them for what they done but not forget. It takes work, time, and love for one another to move past this.
Donutgirl68
April 9th, 2017 10:41am
I would give them another chance. Make progress with them and let them know how I am feeling 100% at the time.