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How to forgive someone who cheated on you?

263 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 5:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Marriage & Family Therapist

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Top Rated Answers
staticSilence
November 17th, 2017 10:09pm
Try thinking of it as a past event. Tell yourself that everyone deserves forgiveness. Not giving them a chance will just fill your heads with thoughts of "what if"s for as long as you can remember. Try giving them a chance to explain. See their side of the story. Then make your call from there.
glowingFlamingo43
December 6th, 2017 5:11am
You must forgive the cheater in order to have peace for yourself. It will be the hardest thing you feel like you have ever done. The truth is, either you forgive the cheater or there can be no more relationship. You may never completely forgive the cheater, and it will cause stumbling blocks throughout the remainder of the relationship, but it will give you healing to forgive.
Anonymous
December 21st, 2017 10:41pm
If someone has cheated on you, you have to remember it isn't your fault. When someone cheats, it's because of their own internal issues. There is no rush to forgive, give yourself time, think through everything and know that when you choose to forgive, it is for your peace of mind. Forgiving does not mean staying with the person. That is another choice you'll have to make through your experience and knowledge of the person. Only you would know if the person is worth another chance.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2017 11:55pm
Forgiving someone for cheating on you is definitely one of the hardest things anyone can do. For me I just took time for myself and then when I had come to terms with it, I had a conversation with the person about it. It's never easy but I find that forgiving the person was very helpful in terms of moving on.
allnaturalUnicorns70
January 3rd, 2018 3:08pm
It depends on what you're forgiving. If you mean the hurt you felt at feeling inadequate, maybe investigate if that is even true. Many people cheat without really thinking it through. If you feel violated and cannot trust the person, that isn't always something that can, or should, be forgiven.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2018 3:54pm
Forgiving is one of the hardest things to do when someone has hurt you. In my experience you have to forgive in order to heal. Take time for YOU, as much as you need to process your thoughts. When the time is right... when you healed some you will be able to forgive.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2018 2:43am
Think of what you two meant to each other before it happened. Think about the weight you carry and hold on to by keeping their negative actions towards you in your heart. Let go even if they don’t want forgiveness do it for yourself
Mortemus
January 10th, 2018 11:16am
Don't focus on what they did to you. Focus on comforting yourself and moving on. It's not about what they did but you accepting and realising what it did to you and what it means.
JJill1
January 24th, 2018 9:25pm
This can be highly dependent on the situation and what exactly happened, but you should be asking yourself why you are asking how to forgive them. Are you supposed to be forgiving them? Some say that cheating is the ultimate deal breaker. Just be careful and listen to your heart the best you can, because your gut will tell you!! :)
Hope39
February 7th, 2018 7:39pm
that will take time and a lot of work to forgive someone for cheating on you. keep in mind that forgiving them does not mean you have to like them or what they did to you, also that you do not have to stay in contact with them. you just have to let go of the person for what they did and move on with your life. that is forgiveness... being able to bring peace into your life by letting go.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2018 5:44am
This is very tough on you and your esteem - I know because I've been there (: I can tell you that by forgiving that person, you will actually do yourself a favor. See, if you don't forgive them, it doesn't make a difference to them. It only limits your productivity and social interaction. Accept what happened, close that person like another chapter of life, place that chapter aside where it'll get buried under layers of dust, and move on (:
Anonymous
February 17th, 2018 4:08am
Learn to forgive and forget, if they prove themselves to you, meaning they prove their love for you, then they simply made a mistake. We’re all human and we make mistakes.
HopefulSloth21
February 21st, 2018 7:36pm
This really depends how guilty is the person feeling after being cheater. The trust would be very difficult to build again and take years. Depends on situation and the reason of cheating if forgiveness is deserved and also on the length of the relationship because if it has been done in early stages say couple of months, then I wouldn't personally bother with someone like that. If its 5 years of relationship then all you can do is talk about it.
originalLove71
February 26th, 2018 8:45am
If you keep the anger, frustration or hatred inside yourself then those negative feelings won't harm that someone even a bit but on the other hand you will be the one feeling that pain again and again. So instead of keeping it inside, just let it go.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 2:04pm
I don't think I would be able to forgive someone, but if they proved they wouldn't do it again and proved their loyalty towards them, I might give them a second chance.
JadeWadey2001
March 8th, 2018 4:39pm
To forgive is to settle with an issue and move forward. In relationships, trust is set between the couple in which is the basis of feeling comfortable and confident with one another. To forgive someone who has cheated on you will enable for you to forward as well as understand that what happened has happened and cannot be undone. Although emotional pain may be present, the only way to move forward is by understanding and forgiving otherwise it would remain an issue.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 7:55am
Forgiving is hard, but forgetting is harder. Cheating is something that is done conscious by a human being and it would be really hard to forgive that person, but if you do manage to forgive that person wholeheartedly, you'll feel lighter and better than you are right now.
Joyfulsmile
April 20th, 2018 10:55pm
I have to forget to live better . what is good about thinking of something heartful matters . forgetting is tha best thing to do
AtticusJosiah
April 25th, 2018 5:08pm
Realize that though it feels like a big thing, Nothing really matters much in the End Game. God forgave us all for everything we did, and that should be the spark behind our forgiveness. Should you withhold forgiveness from someone for some great, singular sin, when God forgave you for all of your sins?
clearshade
May 2nd, 2018 4:00am
I'll ask a question back; why do you need to? If you think you should, the best way to do so is taking a shot at empathy. Were they drunk? Lonely? Confused? Scared? Angry? Humans don't hurt other humans without reason.
WarmShoulder44
May 18th, 2018 5:18am
This is a very unique question and I do strongly believe that the way one would go about answering this depends upon the factors and circumstances that make up the event. The betrayal and distrust that comes with infidelity can be an overpowering feeling for anyone. Cheating can truly make or break a relationship. "Did you just say make one?" Surprisingly yes! Depending on the circumstances and factors, a couple can grow exponentially from a trauma or they can meet the end of the road. Being completely open and honest is important so that both people know what happened and both perspectives are on the table. If it is decided that forgiveness is an option, there are several paths to take. Forgiveness is a strange thing in itself because our confidence in ourself often causes self-doubt when trauma strikes. I believe that forgiveness of unfaithful activities comes by addressing what caused or led to the initial event, addressing existing problems in the relationship, and commitment to the betterment of both partners as a whole. The bad side of these types of events comes about when resentment sets in. It is not healthy and a partner should try not to hold the event over the others head or use it against them. A committment to a better relationship and forgiveness is about coming to terms with what happened, addressing the problems that exist, and building a better relationship.
SupportiveSockMonkey
May 20th, 2018 4:42pm
It is difficult to do this, sometimes you can't forgive them, it all depends on the type of relationship, how long it is and what exactly happened. Some people find it easier to forgive people than others. If you can't forgive them then it's fine, you should just tell them that.
TURBOE
May 28th, 2018 6:23pm
I think the best way to do it is forgive the person. i know its easy to say so. But its important for your mental health and for you to kove on.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2018 2:39am
Remember that there may have been other reasons than you think. It may not have been the best choice, but you can still be acquaintances in the end.
RedVase1234
June 3rd, 2018 5:17pm
Accept the feelings you might be feeling, and understand they are normal. You were hurt, and your feelings are real. If you feel you can continue on a relationship without hurting yourself, or you feel that you can forgive someone for their indiscretion, then consider moving on with the relationship. Have open and frank discussions about your feelings and express your emotions. When you are ready, talk to your partner about what happened, and how they feel as well. This well help you both find common ground and move forward in your relationship.
glowingHope12
June 12th, 2018 2:38am
You first have to know if you really want to still be with that person after they have cheated on you. Once you have decided that then the next step would be to speak about the reasons why that person cheated on you and thereafter take that step of forgiveness. Its more difficult to be the "forgiver" than the "forgived"
Here4UAlwaysAndEver
June 15th, 2018 5:04am
Forgiveness comes different to every human being, so a straight answer is difficult here. Generally it starts with them sincerely apologizing. Once they do that, work it out with a positive mindset!
AdrianFirst
June 17th, 2018 7:15am
I think that the act of forgiving someone who hurt you is easy. Its just the act of saying three words. I think the hard part of forgiveness is coming to terms with the pain and betrayal. Its imperative to understand that you are not fault, and that the other party could be hurting as much as you are. Once you do that than I think you can truly forgive.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2018 2:40pm
That really depends on the person. If you love them enough you will forgive them, you may not forget it happened, but you will eventually forgive them. It takes time and a lot of love, but if you truly want to, then you will forgive them.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 4:03pm
Forgiving a cheater is difficult, they’ve betrayed a bond so dear and they’ve broken a branch of trust which metaphorically you’ve put work into growing together. When a person cheats they say that they get bored, this may be true however they haven’t got bored of you, they got bored of the routine, you’re not boring nor dull. However, forgiving a cheater is a task not many can perform, think of it as making emends for them, as depressing as it is, you could die any day and so could they.. would you really want them dying (or you) knowing that they’re still seeking your forgiveness? So, in conclusion, I think that you should forgive within time to be the bigger person and make sure they’re not living with the guilt.. (however horrid they were!!)