How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.
Last Updated: 03/12/2021 at 5:18am
Temi Coker, MSC, MA, Dip.Cons
Licensed Professional Counselor
With over ten years experience, I offer a safe and confidential environment for you to collect your thoughts, worries & life problems with no judgement or assumptions.
Top Rated Answers
I guess you there are to important things there, first you have to be certain about the breakup and secondly you need time, believe it or not time heals or wounds. Certainty is very important, once you are you sure that the breakup is definitive you can really start hurting, and then you'll hurt for a while, probably think about her/him quite a lot. But with time you'll see you start to think about other people, or at least you are no thinking about her/him anymore, then you be ready to start something new. So don't worry if now you feel like the hole you have won't ever go away, cause it will, i promise, but it does hurt like a bitch hahahah, Good Luck mate.
It’s hard to feel like you need closure from someone you once loved. I’ve been down that road before. If you need closure, you should confront that person. That’s how It helped my situation. It’s hard to move on from someone when you don’t have any clue why they would do the things they did to you. You could be upfront and ask, “why?” “Why did you do this to me?” “Did you have any good reason?”. To keep from intimidating them, let them know that you won’t be upset and that you just need clarity in order to move on from this situation. I hope this helped.
I tell myself everything is going to be ok, and that maybe it was not meant to be. I remind myself that it is ok and if we really loved each other that much then we would get back together with time. it has helped me greatly and I tried some different techniques to help calm myself down and I chat with all these cool people who I am glad to call my friends. ( I even formed a little crush on someone, no I won't say who nehehehe) But I kept pushing myself foreword and made my number one goal be fixing myself and my problems. and maybe one day they would return.
Sometimes closure has to come from within. We might not get closure from the other person, so we have to accept that. We can gain closure by accepting that the relationship is over and we can move forward. Telling ourselves that we were fine before we met him, we will be fine now that he isn't a part of our life anymore. Closure doesn't mean that we come together to make amends. Sometimes it's that we weren't right for each other and now it's time to go forward and find new meaningful relationships.
Missing someone you love or used to love is a natural part of letting go when a relationship ends. Missing an ex months after you ended things with them is one of the most difficult experiences that we can have as a person. To get closure is a journey that takes many steps and it starts with communication and giving yourself the room to breathe. Talking to your ex if it isn't too hurtful could be a good way to receive closure and end your personal relationship on peaceful and agreeable terms. On giving yourself the room to breathe, taking care of yourself. Another method could be to write all the words you never got to say down on paper and give yourself closure if communication is unavailable.
Closure is important. It is the one thing that ensures you have no regrets, which would allow you to move on with the rest of your life. The pain of a heartbreak and having to move on from the person you once loved is challenging and often times the hardest to do. It starts from within you. You've got to accept the reality of the situation, accept the fact that they are your ex for a reason, that things ended for a reason. Give yourself time to realise the situation as it can take a while. Closure does not happen overnight; instead it is a process that happens gradually, depending on your pace. Take responsibility on your part and understand that not everything works out the way you hoped for. And that's okay. Life lessons are taught as we live and learn. Look for areas that are actively bringing you down and try to look for alternative ways to cope with the pain, because you're an independent and strong person who deserves the love, regardless of who gives it you. Exercise an independent mindset and know that the life lessons are learned best when you experience them so you can move on, wiser and stronger.
Everyone's closure can be different. Some people believe they can only get true closure but by talking to their ex, some people write cards and then never send them. Make sure to focus on what you believe you need and put yourself first. Try different methods and see what works best for you. Healing is a process and no one act will magically fix it but as you try different things you will begin to know yourself and what you need. I would suggest starting off by releasing all of your emotions into a letter to get it off your chest. Whether you send it or not is up to you. However, remember to focus on what you need, not how it will make anyone else feel.
When I was in a similar situation, I knew my preferred choice of closure would be written communication (i.e a text), rather than verbal (i.e a phone call). In order to move on, I also felt like I needed it. It is natural and completely alright to feel that way, or to not feel that way. So do whatever you think is necessary to make yourself happy or content. Your emotional and well being matter a lot. I am sorry you are going through a difficult time, if you ever need support always feel free to connect to a listener.
In many situations it is not possible to geta direct closure, meaning not everybody gets to have one on one conversation with their ex where they can say all the things they didn't get to say. In those cases, there are various possibilities that can give you some form of closure. One of those forms is writing a letter, something like Lara Jean did in "To all the Boys I've loved before", and if you feel it's too risky, you can easily burn or destroy the letter. In the letter, you can write anything you want to say to them. And if writing is too hard you can try other mediums as some form of art where you will get your emotions out.
Not getting proper closure can definitely be tough and not ideal but in this situation, the best thing you can do is to remind yourself that the closure is the fact that you guys aren't together anymore. If you were meant to be together, you would. The fact that you're not is your closure, and your true person is out there waiting for you. Keep your chin up. They aren't meant for you at this point of time at least. As hard as it is, things will get much better and you will find your person when it's the right time :)
Everyone is different, but I think the most important closure is with and created by yourself. Independence is important, and you don't need closure from someone else. Unfortunately, relationships end. But this is a perfect time to work on yourself and improve in your life. Every day, the sun goes down and it comes to an end. But remember that it will rise tomorrow. No one needs to tell you this for you to accept it. This is like an ended relationship. You are strong, independent, and handle another day ending every single evening. Accepting things have ended is the key to closure. Because when you accept it, you have your own closure and nothing will change the fact that things have happened the way they did. But life moves on, and remember there was a time you were without this person. I want you to be able to close your eyes, take a breath, and open them with the new thought that tomorrow the sun will rise, it's a new day, and you're ready to take it on. You got this! :)
Hello, I'm sorry that you are being troubled with this situation. I can understand the need for closure from someone that you had feelings for. I know that the feeling can be overwhelming at times but everyone's situation is different. Do you feel that you and your Ex have left on good enough terms to allow for talking about topics like this or do you feel that things may become worse if you try to talk to your ex about this? Sometimes it's good to reflect on ourselves to avoid negative input from people that may want to say negative things just to hurt us.
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