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How to get over someone you have to see everyday?

114 Answers
Last Updated: 03/06/2021 at 8:24pm
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Jui Shankar, Ph.D

Psychologist

My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 14th, 2018 5:36am
Accepting is mostly the first step accept that you need to move forward to be able to grow, and be better.
nerdylistener
June 15th, 2018 12:49am
Try to see if you can make small talk with them. Avoiding them doesn't help. If you talk to them, even a little, it helps lift the elephant in the room.
uniqueOasis12
July 28th, 2018 2:45am
This can be very hard to do, however, you have to remind yourself that you have to move on with your life and that you cannot spend every second of your days worrying about that person and what they're doing. Instead of checking things like their social media every time you get the chance, I have found from personal experience that it is much easier if you block them and don't speak to them. Whenever you know you are going to be around them, you may find it easier to completely avoid looking at them/in their direction and associating with people that that person associates with or is friends with.
comfortableRainbow89
August 12th, 2018 2:14am
Hardest question ever. Avoid them for 3 weeks or a month. Then just start by becoming their friends. You can't just keep doing this to yourself. Go be with your friends for now. I am dealing with the same issue.
Niki0617
November 3rd, 2018 5:18pm
Well, it's very tough. We feel so energized when we see the said person and it's like sunshine.. haha. i know the feeling. I have had the experience. Well what i did was to ensure during the day time i found ways to build up distance (Arrange meetings with other people, consciously making myself busy, etc) so that i know i am not hurt in the long run. Sometimes it's important that we understand the reality and figure out that in the end it's us who is going to get hurt. It's tough but if you put heart and soul in to it with time you will figure out a way to manage. I think making new friends, finding new things to do can be of help too.
gloriousPeace74
November 11th, 2018 1:59pm
I think best way tackle this is to train our mind, our mind is way powerful than we imagine. I have control our thoughts and not think about that. With this , I can think of always being happy and move in the way of my area of interest. Also , I can look for just positive in all things. I will engage myself with one or other activities so not to get time to think about this for at least some days. Attitude also matters in this situation, as how I take this but key thing for this is mind.
LoveLife47
December 14th, 2018 12:23am
Keep reminding yourself that you once loved that person..but it ended for a reason..so now you moved on. Some people enter your life for a season maybe years...decades? But there is a reason why that person was put into your life. So take that reason and thrive from it and keep your head up. Don't harbor negative feelings about relationship end..that will only hurt you. When seeing ex-mate try to be cordial if possible..that helps. Hopefully when heart heals can move on to a new love don't want to carry any baggage from the previous relationship. The sun will keep rising!
Anonymous
May 5th, 2019 11:56pm
If we're talking about romance, it is difficult. It's a rare kind of love that requires no love in return, but that kind of love can be satisfying, too. Try, a little bit every day, to tell yourself that if you care for this person, then their happiness satisfies you (even if you are not a part of it). Don't be discouraged if this does not make your feel better all at once, but keep thinking about it. Focus less on your desire to have that person near, and more on the goodness of that person's existence just by themselves. It is a difficult thing to do, but I do believe in you - because you, too, are a wonderful thing all on your own
kitty54
September 22nd, 2019 4:07pm
Learn a safe place excerise. Normally this is carried out with another person, but basically you imagine a safe place. Somewhere you feel safe and know, or a beach - somewhere you love. think of the sounds, smells, sights, write them down and go to this place in your head as often as possible in the early days. Finally give this place a codename. It could be Ocean, when your in a place where your faced with your ex, or with your ex and a new partner, breathe, say your codename in your head and it should bring you a feeling of release. (then move away from the situation, stay calm and later if needbe, vent and rant. but you must take control)
Anonymous
October 13th, 2019 12:42am
Hey there! I know how difficult it can be to see someone on a daily you are not quite over. To answer this question properly, it depends on a person to person basis. For some, it could be remembering why things would not have worked out anyway. Reminding yourself that maybe what you wanted may not have been for the best is a good place to start, especially if a person is around you often. For other situations, it could be reminding yourself why this person is important and special to you. There are some situations where you fear additional feelings may ruin an already beautiful relationship. In those cases, it would be important to work on why maintaining the relationship as is would be for the best.
livelovedream
November 29th, 2019 2:50pm
Instead of thinking about trying to get over them, can you find a strategy that can help you enjoy your day more EVEN if you see them and have feelings? If you are actively trying to work to make your life better, and coping with the (sad, angry, jealous whatever) emotions you're feeling, over time you will eventually get over them - it will take time but you can do it. In my experience, I have had songs I listen to, treats I will look forward to for lunch, dress in my favorite outfits etc. And don't beat yourself up for not getting over them in a certain period of time
Anonymous
April 24th, 2020 8:31pm
Yikes! This is tricky, especially in university or office romances. If you have to see them, there is no rule that says you have to be their best friend or talk to them all the time. If they do talk to you, just be polite and cordial. You can always use the Greystone technique (small talk mainly and present things) to avoid long chats with them. If you don't have to directly interact with them, so much the better. As for the getting over part, try to stay involved in other hobbies and with other people/friends. It will take time, but it is possible.
Anonymous
May 3rd, 2020 10:57pm
when my ex and I broke up, i still had to see him everyday at school. There isn’t a proper solution to get over someone you have to see, but there is some things you can do. If you can, change seats where you can’t see them, change groups when you’re assigned with them... all the little things you can do to minimize contact, you should do it. obviously the easiest way is to change location, and get away from this person you’re getting over. but if you can’t, even though it’s not gonna be easy, it will happen. you will eventually get over them.
joyfulSmiles17
May 27th, 2020 11:53am
If you see this person everyday maybe try walking a different route or avoiding them so you don't have to see them as much. Out of sight means out of mind. You can also try to keep your mind occupied. Instead of thinking about what they are up to and things in that nature. Think about what you're going to do later. Having a conversation with someone else rather than the person you're trying to get over might help you think about them less as well. But, you obviously have feelings for this person you're trying to get over it may actually help to talk to the person and tell them exactly how you feel. If they feel the same then you now have a new way of looking at them and if they don't at least that's one more reason why to move on. Good luck.
blackFlower7062
May 30th, 2020 7:06am
Put in perspective their flaws and not just the snapshots of good times. It's easy for us to glorify things when they are over.Spend that extra time on yourself.Learn something about yourself and things that you enjoy. Gift yourself that extra time you were giving to someone else. Make new connections. Reach out to someone new. You never know what the next adventure holds. It's also hard to spend time and thoughts on someone when you are busy with something new. Don't allow yourself time to obsess about someone. Emotions, even hate, will keep you connected to that person. Sever the connection so it doesn't weigh you down. There's not time better to move forward than right now.
CalmRosebud
June 3rd, 2020 1:30pm
You must be able to build a psychological wall to protect yourself, especially if you must see that person everyday. You must desensitize yourself to the presence of that person in your life, maintain distance, remain polite and professional, but recognize triggers that cause you pain. It's possible to maintain distance even while being right in the room with someone and having to interact with them professionally. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not easy. But you can do this if you want to maintain your job or other reason for having the share the space with that person.
illbethereforyou1321
July 24th, 2020 3:10pm
Just talk to them, have a conversation. Say we have to see each other every day let's be civil to get along and maybe one day we could be friends, it is a tricky subject it really depends on the relationship. Some times seeing someone who you have had a traumatic past with causes anxiety or panic attacks try the 5 senses method. 5 things you can see. Four things you can touch. Three things you can hear, Two things you can smell and one thing you can taste, it relaxes your nervous system easing anxiety and panic attacks. Deep breaths are extremely under rated and just because they didn't work last year doesn't mean they wont work today our body and habits are constantly changing. The 4-3-7 method. Breathe in for four hold for three out for seven.
SchrodingersCatPavlovsDog
August 15th, 2020 1:21pm
I would avoid the interaction with him as it will be harder for me to turn the page. I will delete everything related to him on my phone and stop being a social media stalker. I will remind myself he is not my responsibility anymore and quitting the old habit when I was with him. I might pretend that I have covered him already so I can fake it until I make it. I will minimize contact with him. Even though we see each other every day, it does not mean we have to communicate. Less interaction will help to accelerate the process of getting over someone.
Charlotte996
September 2nd, 2020 5:06am
This is a very difficult one as it takes distance and time to truly be able to say you've moved on. However, this isn't always easy or possible, but it's important to try to enforce it as much as possible. So, do your best to try and set clear boundaries concerning your interactions. This doesn't have to be permanent, but it should serve to break whatever dependency you have on that person. Essentialy, keep it professional. This doesn't mean that you have to be rude or ignore the person, but you'll have to ask yourself, "if we didn't have history, would we do this?" If it makes it easier, you can sit down with the person and tell them what's going on. This may help set the boundaries in a healthy way and leave no confusion.
Anonymous
September 21st, 2020 12:10am
politely ask if he/she needs future sharing situation with me or if not I am here when ever they need me and I will send my personal 7 cups link to make sure they have the correct person if they need to find me again. if it is turn to inconvenience situation I block them. When someone tried to pay me that was automatically red flag and no no, so I Had to block him to be safe not to get future bothering by him. I am a very sincere and kind and I do not want to hurt someone's feeling unless they start bothering me.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2020 2:09pm
Move can be difficult, no doubt. And there is honestly no way you stop loving someone. They just don't have the same affect on you anymore. Getting over someone can also depend on what the person did or what cause you to break up with that person. If you were betrayed in any manner, you need to believe that it is not worth it. Your partner isn't worth your attention. You need to believe in yourself and know your worth. I hope you get through it for your present as well as your future self. All will be good
Anonymous
January 8th, 2021 1:04pm
It can be very hard to get over someone you have to see everyday. I had to go through a similar experience about 2 years ago. It was not an easy task. It's important to place yourself first, your mental health, and realising that someone that doesn't appreciate your existence doesn't deserve your love. Constantly reminding myself that helped me quite a lot. Initially, I tried to avoid being around said person as much as I could until I began thinking, 'Wait, why am I running away?'. It's important to not give someone the power over how you're feeling. It takes time, it's taken me 2 years to get over that situation.
gracefulDreamer6406
February 6th, 2021 1:18am
Perhaps the relationship was emotionally taxing and causing you more stress than reward. Recognize the freedom you now have, which brings about new opportunities. Feel the relief of not having to worry about the other person or be concerned with the drama they brought into your life. Spend time outside of work developing healthy relationships with friends, and others who could become romantic interests. Stay positive if you come in contact. Keep things “light and airy”, which means: stay away from deep thoughts, discussions, troubles or complaints. Portray a sense of calm and optimism that can't be pulled down by the negativity or awkwardness of the situation. Focusing on the positive will guard against being pulled into negative discussions.[7] No one can take your power away from you if you remain positive. Reacting to an agitating remark will give your power to the other person. You are in control and responsible for your feelings. It is an important job.
SonHakTas
March 6th, 2021 8:24pm
Learn to accept that healing takes time. At first it will seem so difficult, but since you will be seeing them every day eventually it will stop hurting and next thing you know, you couldn't care less about their presence. Coming from experience, I know how hard it is to face someone who meant so much to you at one point in time. I can guarantee that it will get better eventually, please don't be too harsh on yourself! It's okay to not be okay (if you get the k-drama reference you are a legend). I hope you have an amazing day :)