Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How to get over someone you never dated?

158 Answers
Last Updated: 11/07/2020 at 9:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:38am
give it time- the feelings will go away sooner or later. attempt to find someone to replace those feelings, if anything. it is possible to do this. in 10 years time, even much less than that, this person will be the last thing on your mind
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 12:39am
There are many more people out there. It's not the end of the world. Just forget about the person and move on.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 11:21am
Block them out of your mind and only think of their negative qualities. Do not dwell on what could have been or things you could or said or done differently.Everything happens for a reason and if its meant to be, it will be.
dancingForest68
June 15th, 2018 12:49am
It can be really difficult to detach yourself from feelings for someone that you were never really dating. Personally, I found that being around my friends and receiving reciprocated love helped me to realize what I deserved. It's important to make sure that you aren't giving more than you get back, especially when it comes to love.
Chrysanthemum15
June 28th, 2018 7:16pm
This can be tough, but definitely doable! In the past, I have simply removed anything reminding me of that person and tell myself that he was toxic.
NeonPaladin
June 29th, 2018 1:34pm
To get over someone you've never dated, try to distance yourself from them. Try and stay away from things that remind you of this person, or friends who talk to this person or hang around this person. Try and keep your mind off of them, and focus on more important things in your life, such as hobbies. It's a much more productive way to go about things! :)
Frosty87
June 29th, 2018 5:57pm
The best way to get over someone you haven't dated is by meeting new people and talking about your feelings to a trusted friend
LanLaLand
July 8th, 2018 10:26pm
You don't pursue them any longer, you let them know how you feel about them. And then you occupy yourself with other things until you come to the realization that, hm, I don't think about them anymore as much.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2018 1:20pm
You distract yourself, focus more on yourself. You can take this time to improve yourself to be the best version of who you are
TheRealArabKid
July 13th, 2018 7:35pm
dont think about them, dont look at their recent activity, try to remove any photos you have together, talk to new people, listen to music that hypes you up, play sport, try something new, just do as much as you can to keep them off your mind, there will be days where its easy and days where it'll feel like you just need them in your life but you just have to try as hard as you can.
StWilson
July 14th, 2018 11:33am
People might not get this and laugh at you for someone you love who you never dated. But in reality It's just pure love. But at same time it easier to move on as soon as you realize that it is unrequited love.
LovingPhantom
July 15th, 2018 4:08am
Personally, I try to ignore those feelings. Whether it's by burying myself in work or homework or a hobby, it keeps my brain focused. Other ways are by doing something fun, something that makes you happy and something that's for yourself. Eventually, after time of course, it'll be easier to forget about them. If you do follow them on social media or see them in person alot though, I would recommend distancing yourself from them or blocking them in social media.
Graceandworry
July 22nd, 2018 9:27pm
Most of the time it is easy by just watching the way the treat other people, because some times that can be bad. Also just think of someone else they would be better with and if you care about them then think about how much that person would be able to help them.
generousRabbit93
July 31st, 2018 5:36am
lose all contact with them, realize how it was just some crush especially since you never dated them before
itgetsbetter567
August 2nd, 2018 4:00pm
It just takes time. You have to realize that your amazing and anyone would be lucky to call you their gf/bf/partner/SO. Just because that person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, there are SO many people that will. I’d say to spend time doing things you love, things that inspire you. It’ll take your mind off them. Spend time with your true friends and laugh with them. It just takes time.
amazingIcicle69
August 6th, 2018 3:03pm
You have to come to terms that this person was never yours to begin with. Then you need to be more open minded about finding a distraction like taking up a hobby or going on a blind date or just have a night out with friends and someday you'll wake up and you won't wish they had been yours and then you'll have succeeded.
Anaiviv01
August 29th, 2018 12:50pm
On an emotional level our brain makes no difference between "in real life" and "online". This happens because when our feelings are real, our reactions are physical (and real). The way to get over someone you never dated, both in real life and online, is to make yourself stronger. Reinforce your self image, generate ideas, dare to sparkle. From time to time ask yourself what you liked much about that person and try to absorb that feature if it's healthy and makes you feel worthy. Live the present, meaning you have to be present and enjoy your now, without trying to hold on the past.
lovernotaloser
September 14th, 2018 1:31am
This is a hard one for me to answer because it hits close to home. I ask myself this at least a billion and twelve times a week and yet I've never come up with a great answer... So now I'll try and face the music and give a good answer. You'd think it'd be easier getting over someone who's never actually been yours, false. If you've been through this you know, its a million times harder. The transition between calling someone your own to not calling them at all can be quick and easy. The transition between calling someone yours in your heart to realizing they don't think the same thing is the hardest thing ive ever done. For me I can't give a honest answer because ive yet to figure it out. But I've learned a lot in the three years its taken me just to come to the conclusion that he wasn't ever really MINE to begin with. One thing ive learned is they aren't feeling the same thing as you, because in their heads nothings changing. It's just going back to the old friendship things. But inside our heads its like a million moons just crashed into our oceans and Mercury is always in retrograde. It sucks. But that makes it easier to move on, thinking the emotions are one sided. Even though it hurts like heck. Another thing ive learned is, if they wanted you to be theirs in a dating sense, they would've already made that move. If they haven't, as much as it may pain us to think of it this way, they obviously don't think of us that way. And thats fine! It can be tough but with time I think our wounds begin to heal and our emotions eventually subside. And thats all I have for this question, its not much but I hope it helps:)
lenerai
September 28th, 2018 11:29am
The best way to get over someone you have never dated is to simply just distract yourself. Find a hobby, find and explore new interests and focus on more important things such as school. Patience is key. It will surely take a long time but it is worth it. Distracting yourself and doing other things is a great way to spend your time than worrying and thinking about that someone a lot. Additionally, if you haven't already, go and talk to them and find and look for a closure from that someone. It will be really relieving and you will feel free after clarifying everything with that certain someone first. Remember, it takes time.
NohuCarcass
October 17th, 2018 2:28am
This can be difficult, but you should always keep in mind that’s it will end in the best for both of you. Keep a positive outlook and remain control. Even if you only ever imagined a platonic friendship with them, it may not be what you need in your life right now, and moving on from this area can help you become more involved in your own choices, and live your life as stress free as possible, especially if this person was bringing negativity, stress or other features into your life, that aren’t something you can handle right now.
Anonymous
October 19th, 2018 2:20am
write about them. write all of your feelings, all the fun times you have had together, all the laughs, the jokes, the texts, whatever you find important. possibly even a drawing of them. whatever helps you get out your emotions and creativity into a physical form. crumble up the paper then unfold it. it’s less harsh, the paper gets softer the most and more you crumble it. if you truly want to rid yourself of it, rip it into pieces or burn it. if you’d like to look back on how you felt, crumble the paper a final time and put it in a box or notebook. shut it far away. that way you can safely release your emotions without hurting anyone or yourself.
ljackie
December 13th, 2018 9:49pm
Personally I have had to deal with that before. It was very hard because we talked often and I got attached, but I accepted the fact that we could not be and moved on. It took me a while to accept it, but I managed. I am proud of myself for having moved on, because in life there are better things to be focused on rather than to be focused on the person. Life continues and at the end of the day, what matters the most is yourself and how you are feeling. To feel happy and content leaving all of the negative and bad connections behind.
xSarahlynnx
January 12th, 2019 9:37pm
Codependency is when a person is dependent on another person to fulfill a need. Over a period of time it can be easy for a person to become attached to another person to provide feelings of ease and comfort. Something about this person provided you with that sense of ease and comfort and over time I am assuming you have gotten dependent on this feeling. To live without this is going to be challenging but it is possible. Start by finding ways to provide self-love, ease and comfort for your own well being. Part of being independent in life and growing consists of loving ourselves so we don't become co-dependent on others.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2019 1:22pm
Learn to love yourself and research unrequited love if that is the situation. It is a concept that will make sense about being in love with someone who doesn’t want you back. Loving yourself is something that is necessary for a healthy relationship with anyone and will allow you to be okay when you are alone or denied. We all struggle with self-love and should work on this constantly in our lives. When you fall in love with someone that you have never dated, getting over them can be the same as getting over a normal relationship. Trying to put things in perspective and looking into the future may help as well.
slytherinstarling123
April 13th, 2019 1:10pm
It's similar to getting over a breakup, you have to acknowledge, accept and mourn the loss of a relationship you never had. It's hard to get through but once you accept that they aren't "the one" it becomes easier, it also becomes easier with certainty and clarity so discussing with the person to make sure they don't feel the same can assist in moving on. Taking time for and care of yourself, taking interest in other people and putting yourself out there. Also mentally reminding yourself and associating that person as a friend in attempts to try and not view them romantically
Anonymous
April 17th, 2019 4:42am
There are plenty of fish in the sea and billions of people you have yet to meet. Don’t be afraid to explore your options! Step outside your comfort zone and take a look at the world around you. You never know, your next potential relationship could be right under your nose, but you’re just not looking hard enough. And if it’s not a relationship you want, then take time to focus on yourself and your hobbies. Whether it be spots or reading books, find your safe haven and return to it when you need it. There’s no harm in doing what you love.
heretohelp86
April 18th, 2019 3:06pm
Just have to accept, that if they were meant to be a part of your life they would have been. You deserve someone better and someone who is willing to be there for you and love you. Distract yourself, focus on loving yourself and try to distance yourself from that person and things that remind you of them. It does hurt to not be able to be the one you care so much about. However at the end of the day you should only focus on yourself and if your love for them is becoming toxic for you then you need to take a strong stand and remove them and those feelings from your life.
DelicateButterfly78
May 25th, 2019 9:39pm
Hi! Getting over a crush can be just like getting over your ex. It can be complicated. When I was in High School back in the 90's, there was this boy I had a huge crush on and everybody in school knew. He was in my class, and he was so cute. He had money, played about every sport that was offered, and I was a poor girl who played in the band that was not so attractive and I knew I had no chance with him. Anyway, in our Junior year, I found out that he started dating a girl, another classmate with more of his traits, her parents were teachers at the same school, and I was like, the last one to know as always. How did I handle this situation? I was actually happy for them and I left him alone and didn't look back. Your situation may be different. It's possible that you had a chance with the person, and it depends on how long you crushed on them. Mine was my entire school days to that point. My questions to you are: What do you and your crush have in common? Do you have the same friends?, and Do you hang out at the same places? Those will really help you navigate your way through this and help with your recovery. We're here if you need anything. Take care!
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2019 3:13pm
It’s hard to do something like this. Knowing you cared so much about someone but being unsure about how they feel because you were never actually together. It took time and focus. I had to put myself out of the situation and begin with what I wanted to accomplish in life and my happiness. Of course I wanted to be with them and now you have to give up something that you never even had the chance to explore. But things like this as silly as it is, is just a waiting game. When you have to lose feelings you spent so long developing it is just giving you the opportunity to explore new feelings and the thing or person that was really meant to be.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2019 5:10am
One possible way to get over someone you've never dated is you have to realize that nothing was there. (At least if you both didn't know each other, or even possibly if you did know each other). One positive way you can think about it is, if they're in a relationship with someone then they're meant to be with them and there's someone better out there for you that you're meant to be with. It will take some time to get over them but if you give it some time and then come to terms with there being other people out there for you to date then hopefully it will help.