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How to move past a relationship when you thought your partner was 'the one' ?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2018 at 7:20pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
January 14th, 2015 4:19am
Take it a day at a time! Focus on doing what makes you happy and spend time with friends and talking to them about it if it helps. And remember that, even though it may not feel like it at the time, there is someone else out there for you.
February 8th, 2015 5:56pm
When you begin to believe that that partner was 'the one' for that point in time, you can start to recover. You can start to look forward to finding 'the one' that is for forever not just one point in time.
November 3rd, 2015 9:07pm
Most of us will go through this at some point in our lives. Some experience it at a young age, and others experience it much later in life. No matter how young or old you are, moving on from a relationship that you thought would last forever will be one of the most difficult things you ever go through. To move past a broken relationship, you must accept that it is over, understand why it ended, and rebuild yourself.
August 18th, 2015 2:46pm
Just learn and move forward. Before getting serious with your next partner, consider that possibly they are not going to be your whole future and that things might not work out, thus avoiding a hurt self.
June 22nd, 2015 6:03am
Accepting the current situation is the best thing to do, Reminiscing the past wont help.I believe, things happened for a reason maybe we thought that a person is perfect for us. We should balance what our minds says because if we only listens and follow our heart we might ended hurting ourselves or maybe others.
April 27th, 2015 9:57pm
It may seem backwards, but experiencing the heartbreak is the only way to move past it. It is a process that may happen quickly, or otherwise. It really depends on the person.
June 2nd, 2015 5:03am
Some people are the one, some people aren't. You sometimes think your parrtner is the one but sometimes they aren't. You just need to hold on and know in your heart, no one can change that, and no one deserves to be alone. You will be loved, and happy for the rest of your life if you hold on.
August 25th, 2015 5:42pm
There is no easy way out of a relationship like this one. That feeling when you held that person in your arms, the love you felt, having it all taken away just like that, it really does hurt you. It's difficult and it's going to take a long time. But it isn't impossible. With time and a lot of support from family and friends, we can move past it :)
October 2nd, 2015 11:45am
Engage yourself in doing what you love to do. May be, singing? Dancing Classes? Or anything. Everyone has some hobbies, and I'm sure that you'll have some too. Just follow them for a while. I'll suggest you to get in a kind of group who do a particular thing together. Getting out of past relationships is not easy at all, but keep reminding yourself that you'll HAVE to get out of it anyhow. :) Good luck!
December 19th, 2015 5:49pm
I think that when we get into a relationship that feels so perfect, we feel unstoppable and we're convinced that we found "the one." Try to remind yourself why the relationship ended, and that there are many more people out there who are more suitable for you.
December 22nd, 2015 8:25pm
If it didn't last, he or she was not necessarily "the one". Of course it might have been wonderful, but there are people outside who will treat you better and fit you better. What helped me after a breakup was to not be alone because then you think. Spend time with friends and family, and after a while you will be able to open up again
March 28th, 2016 8:41am
I suppose anyone we feel a very strong attraction to and a huge amount of love and care for we believe is 'the one', especially if the feelings are returned. Loving someone very deeply can make us very caught up with them in the moment and make us feel like we simply cannot live without the person or move forward without them. However the good thing is, we can move forward after deep relationships by accepting that they are over however our lives aren't over. We can go back to doing our routine tasks and fulfill our spare time that we would have usually shared with that person, by meeting with friends or doing a favourite hobby or interest. You are able to move forward, you can still live without this person, as you lived without them before. Focus on yourself and get yourself back on track with your hobbies and interests in your free time. Practice mindfulness. You'll be okay.
March 28th, 2016 4:01pm
It won't be easy to move past a relationship when someone made you feel like you were on top of the world. It can get really hard when they made you feel special, loved, and wanted. But sometimes things happen and people hurt us. If you feel you need to move on but are struggling to then please remember that if that person loved you they wouldn't have hurt you or made you feel worthless and unloved, Learn that you deserve better, and that you will find happiness again! :)
March 29th, 2016 8:18am
Take it a day at a time! Focus on doing what makes you happy and spend time with friends and talking to them about it if it helps. And remember that, even though it may not feel like it at the time, there is someone else out there for you.
July 19th, 2016 11:46am
Sometimes, even if a relationship was great, you have to understand it was a journey, a great one, but not a destination. Sometimes, pulling something hurts more than letting go. Who knows what's next in life? There are so many more things out there. Don't let your past relationship get in your path! :)
August 8th, 2016 7:39am
Human make promises in the moment, they forget about the promises after the moment..You couldn't make someone stay.. Your feelings are real for them and you have enough memories of your past.. now take this as your fuel to start your journey again.. you don't know how love is.. and when it would come.. and it would come when it suppose to be. We all could say to move on.. "Hey move on.. its easy". But actually it is the process of healing.. it would take time.. and in that time.. set your priorities for yourself... Learn about yourself. This is your life.. and when we think its the end.. actually it's a start.
November 20th, 2017 3:43am
Love is hard to find and love shows us some hard lessons but that happens so we can see who really is the one and it helps us get to the one sometimes love will hit us so hard but sometimes is just not meant to be I know it hurts because one way or another u thought he was the right one but listen everything happens for a reason I know it's hard but u have to move on u have to keep on looking love is like seeking and finding I promise u that the pain will go away and that your heart will heal but first u have to give the steps
June 5th, 2018 6:42pm
I think it helps to have an optimistic mindset. There was definitely a reason that relationship ceases to exist so find the good/best in everything and keep telling yourself that better is out there. He was clearly not "the one" considering he wasn't the best, hence it did not work out. In cases of loss, allow yourself to grieve and do not close off your mind. Life does go on and it is important to remember that it does not wait for you so it is best to keep an open mind and be able to embrace good things around you.
June 26th, 2018 4:49pm
Realize that the time you spent together was great and that every person has a lesson for you to grow
August 27th, 2018 7:20pm
Our culture perpetuates the idea that there is only "the one" and that's it. But the more people you meet, the more you might realize there's many types of relationships. Often people find who they believe is "the one" and later find someone that's much more fit for them. Step one is realizing that romantic comedies and romantic movies are for the most part absolutely horrible, unhealthy portrayals of relationships. It's considered stalking if people show up refusing to leave when you ask them to. That's just a huge disrespect for boundaries. It's important that people give you space and respect your boundaries, and don't cling on to you when you've made it clear it's not the right moment. After reading up on how our romance and monogamy culture is deeply flawed and trains us to crave unhealthy relationships, it can be really helpful to focus on ourselves. I know many people for whom being single was a very important experience that let them work on new hobbies and skills, focus more on the friends they have, and not worry about having to spend a lot of time with a partner. It can be really helpful to find social interactions to replace the interaction you got from a partner. Joining clubs or meetup groups might be an interesting way to do this, or to get more involved in areas you've been hoping to for a bit. Good luck!