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How to tactfully tell someone you don't want to be with them anymore?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 03/01/2021 at 4:30am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)

Counselor

Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 9th, 2018 11:35pm
From my own experience, it is best to always just be honest with the people around you. There has to been a particular reason or reasonS that you are considering breaking up with the person in the first place. You need to tell them what your feelings are. If you want to leave because you don't trust them, then tell them that. If you just aren't happy, then tell them that. If you've found someone else that you want to be with, then tell them that. Just be truthful. There's no reason to lie. In the end, the other person will appreciate your honesty, have more respect for you, and will be able to move on more easily. Also, if there is no chance that you will change your mind, then be sure to tell them that. Do not lead them to believe that the break up is temporary if it's not. This will only hurt them more in the long run.
Anonymous
March 12th, 2018 5:05am
You can say you are sorry, that though you care for them, a relationship with them is not what you want now. You can say that your needs are different and you simply don't feel like continuing as boyfriend/ girlfriend. There is no easy way, but you can be calm and kind, yet firm. offering any false hope is more painful, and that's really unkind.
RainLover
May 28th, 2018 1:36pm
"We have had a really great time together and made so many wonderful memories, however, my view to life / life goals have changed a lot. There are a lot of things that I want to achieve in life and I believe, you have great goals of your own. I really wouldn't want us to hold each other from pursuing our dreams. We will have to part our ways. I hope you can understand and I'm wishing all the best for you."
Kindhumanity
December 8th, 2020 2:53am
I believe the time has come where we can start to branch out and meet new people and have all new experiences, I will never forget you and I will always love you, We can keep In touch, and if things don't work out one of us can reach out and we can try again, I wish you the best, and I hope you'll find the person for you, I'm always here for you, and if you ever need to talk don't hesitate to reach out, and even if you don't find someone right away I promise it will happen eventually
CoachGerry
March 1st, 2021 4:30am
I have found that being honest, and open is the best way to tell someone. Certainly, not hitting them over the head with it, but, not beating around the bush either. I have done it both ways, and learned the hard way that doing this from a place of love is the best way to approach things. Because, if there ever was love, somewhere deep inside, on some level, there always will be some love. My experience anyway. Either love, or lesson(s). Every relationship has the capacity to give us both. And then open up the conversation to include the other person by saying, "This is a difficult conversation to have, and there's no easy way to say this, but, I feel like neither of us has been happy in our relationship for some time now, like we are just going through the motions out of habit. How do you feel about us?" And if the other person says, "I don't feel that way at all." Ask, "Can you tell me how you do feel?" And then allow the conversation to unfold organically. At this point, the other person knows that you already have one foot out the door, so to speak. And it will make it easier to leave. But, very often, I have found that the other person has felt the same way I do, and just had no tactful way of saying it. Sometimes, people stay together out of habit, and then begin cheating on one another. Perhaps both are. Sometimes, opening up the relationship so that both parties have the freedom to explore other romantic and/or sexual novelties can bring passion back in. There is no one size fits all formulas for either ending a relationship, or ending the nature of the relationship by creating one with a whole new set of "rules."