I broke off my engagement. I don't even know what to do now. Where do I go from here?
34 Answers
Last Updated: 12/21/2021 at 4:22am
Moderated by
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
its a fickle thing love is. the passion, the excitement , the fear, love can turn to hate and hate can turn to love. love drives us, compels us to act, makes fools of us all, love can also build us up into the person we were meant to be. love can blind us into seeing what we want to see. love can feel like it has been hollowed out from us leaving a smoking empty husk of forgotten dreams. and just when we thought we have lost all hope ... it is love that pulls us back up from the frozen wasteland a cold heart. love is a fickle thing. so may i ask why you broke off your engagement?
you broke up your engagement? but why? can you tell me more about you problem regarding this one? :)
Just take it easy and slow. It is hard but not a dead end. Everything that happens, happens for good. And you just have to wait for the right man now. Till then, try deviating your mind by pursuing your hobbies. Try analysing what you like to do, and do it. You have your own identity and try regaining that individuality now. All the best
Think about your goals before the relationship and during, can you still achieve them? do you still want to achieve them? Dream a little and figure out what you want to do with your life.
Hi, I'm Mikee. I'm glad you're here. So you've broken your engagement and now you are feeling confused?
Anonymous
November 20th, 2014 6:14pm
FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND DON'T LOOK BACK...JUST MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY WITH WHATEVER YOUR DECISION WERE.
Forward!
It hurts now, and it's going to hurt for a long time. But better to break it off now rather than later on in life. Collect yourself, and explore what else is out there. But most important, be happy.
I never broke off an engagement, however a long term relationship with someone I thought I'd marry. I once read that with the relationship not only the person is out of your life but also all the hopes, dreams and future plans you had with and for this person are suddenly gone.
But having said that, I am sure you had certain doubts and reasons to break it off and maybe it's time to explore these feelings and figure out what they mean to you. It will help you find out what you are really looking for and you can build from there.
Take some time for yourself and time to heal :) everything will be okay!
If you broke off the engagement that means you did it for a reason. Trust yourself and your judgement. Know that you did what you had to do and move forward from there.
The best thing to do is relax. Take some time for yourself. It's going to be really difficult to get out of that mindset of being engaged. When I broke off my engagement with my ex-fiance, it took me months before I felt decent enough to even go out with my friends. It's going to take time, but it will get better. A year and a half later, I'm in a wonderful relationship with a man that truly loves me and cherishes me. He is the best thing that has ever happened and I honestly don't think I'd be able to love him like I do if I had stayed with my ex-fiance.
Determine why you broke off the engagement, and then be sure of your decision. Once you make a decision, you can't take it back. You must stand firm in your judgement. If you still feel upset, find a hobby, go hiking, spend time outdoors. Whatever healthy option keeps you distracted
Anonymous
November 8th, 2014 3:24pm
so what if your engagement broke off? it is not your whole life that has been broken, anyway. you have your life with or without it. really.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2014 3:18am
There are a couple ways to see this. If you were so far into a relationship that you were engaged, that could be something you regret. If you've wanted to do this, then YOU'RE FREE!
I would immediately and quickly as possible have friends help get your things, you want to make this as less awkward as possible and as painless as possible. Anything you two share, like property, a lease, etc. Figure that out when you're cool calm and collected, as trying to act when emotional always escalates. Once you two have that situated, it's time to move on your separate paths, rediscover yourselves, and the rest will follow. Friends and family are there to support you.
With any loss of a relationship, no matter how long you were together or the level of intimacy; its important to get to know yourself better, rediscover hobbies and try new things. Karaoke, new recipes, travel somewhere new. Start up a journal and write down your thoughts! Over time, you may find it easier to wake up and not think about it. One day, you may feel ready to move on. In order to get there, trying to part ways with sentimental items that remind you of them, and lean on your support system could really help. Not to mention the best remedy is to eat LOTS of ice cream!
Wherever you want to. Breaking off an engagement isn't the end of the world. You just need to set your priorities right and go from there.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2016 12:02am
When something like an engagement is broken, it seems like you end up losing a lot of things. The future that you've envisioned for a while is gone and it's only natural to feel a little lost after that. But don't worry, things will heal in time. You can start to see a new future that doesn't depend on this engagement. Some things you might consider: delve into your hobbies, your career, reconnect with your family and friends. Try to remember what you had a life outside of this engagement.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2016 9:05am
That's a big step, first you should think about why you chose to break off the engagement. I have also ended a long relationship recently and I understand that it can be very hard. It is easy to feel lost, but you can move past this by reflecting on the engagement and realizing that something must have prompted you to break it off.
Breaking off an engagement is difficult. For whatever reason you took a brave step and did something that most future brides, in whatever predicament they find themselves in, cannot do. For that I will say I am proud of you. You know what is best for you and you have already made a move in the direction you feel is whats in your best interest. From here, you carry on. You aim in the direction that will make your heart happy and fulfilled. No one can tell you where to go or how to feel, your future is in your hands. Trust in yourself, you know what you need to do.
Find yourself. Find who you are, take care of yourself, learn to love yourself, sort out your feelings. Live.
That's what you should do. ;)
Breaking off an engagement can definitely be stressful because now life is different. You have probably built a life with the person you were going to marry. The first step would be to let everyone know that the wedding is off and return any possible gifts that were given to you. Also, finding yourself a new place to live away from him would be a good idea. You also want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself during this time. It is okay to feel upset over this. You loved the person and you probably thought it would work out. You can take the time to grieve the end of a chapter before you start a new one.
Anonymous
December 21st, 2021 4:22am
Grow. It was a thing of the past. Have a self care day, go on a road trip and do all the things you like. Accept and try to let go. Maybe it was the right decision. Just do things that will help you move on from this phase and remember to never look back
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 2:15am
it's important to remember that there's nothing that a person can't come back from. ending a longterm relationship can often feel impossible to move forward from-- especially when we've spent so long with this person that they have become interwoven with how we view ourselves and our futures. one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is beginning to figure out again who you are outside of this relationship. returning to old hobbies, reconnecting with friends and family, and finding new things to involve yourself in can all help you regain a sense of identity. make sure to look out for yourself, and remember that moving on from something isn't a linear path. it isn't about feeling better every single day-- it's about making steady progress, even if some days feel worse than others. all of it is a part of healing.
I believe you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. You followed your hearr, and now you have a blank canvas to continue to follow it. Day by day. Starr with focusing on yourself and everything else will fall into place :)
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 10:50pm
First take time to look back and learn from the experience and regain yourself. The if you think you are ready and have got things back to normal maybe try and find someone else or reach for another goal in life.
Letting go of someone you once cared about is difficult. It hurts now and it probably will for some time. But there's no wound that time cannot heal. Endure now, and try move on. Keep small small goals in life, and eventually build yourself. We're all here to support you in your journey.
its hard i know what you are going through its like challenging your own self worth for losing in most genuine and truthful wish to be together. Its hard to move along while part of you is still lingers and yearns for someone that you actually cared about.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2014 9:06pm
Get yourself a routine is one thing, even if it's jogging for an hour at a certain time and then watching a film at night that helps you fall asleep. Let time take it's course, I stand by jogging as my top tip
Anonymous
November 17th, 2014 1:17am
Find and explore the things that make you, yourself truly happy independent from anyone else. And then go out and do these things that make you happy!
Anonymous
November 10th, 2014 12:53am
continue your life if your ready to move on. but if you want to go back talk to your partner and tell him/her you need more time
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