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I broke up with him even though I do love him and he loves me. I had to! How can I move on from someone I can't find a reason to hate?

246 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 2:33am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
AmarahSofia
December 23rd, 2021 3:55am
Moving on is a process, so it takes time. Sometimes love is not enough to make relationship works. There is no need for you to hate the person in order to unlove them. Only time can heal all the wounds. Breaking up does not necessarily means you have to remove all the connections with him, including the memories because even for once you knew in yourself that he makes you feel happy and loved. Just focus on yourself right now, explore and get busy on the things that matters the most. Do exercise to unwind, spend time with family and friends, learn more about your work or try things you haven’t tried before. Start again with self love and self worth.
peachicus
December 24th, 2021 1:18pm
Breaking up with someone isn't about hatred in fact splitting from a partner should never be about hate and the fact you're going your separate ways without those feelings is a real achievement. I was in a similar relationship where I loved my girlfriend deeply however we had so much conflict and lack of stability I knew we needed to go our own way. The breakup was awful and I pined for her almost a year but still knowing it was the right decision. Keep busy, find a new hobby or passion or volunteer (I found it really helped) Remember the reason you're no longer together and be at peace with that no matter how tough it is at first. Your wellbeing needs to come above everything else and next time you meet someone you'll be in good position to fall in love again. Almost 2 years later, me an my ex text occasionally and update each other on our lives, talk about the pets and family. I describe the feeling as if we're both sitting at separate coffee tables in a cafe and from across the room we glance up and warmly smile at each other, then back to our lives. I hope you find this helpful.
75Ktea
February 2nd, 2022 12:43am
There is no need to hate someone in order to move on from that relationship, it surely might make things seem more easy, but it is not necessary. If you made the decision of braking up with him, is because you had your reasons, there might be things that will show you that you made the right decision that will reinforce it. So give yourself time, try to talk as little as possible with him (if you really want to move on) and find yourself in-merged doing more things that wont imply remembering him, such as doing things you like that you couldn't do with him because he didn't liked doing such things, etc.
Quinnhawkins89
March 16th, 2022 7:55am
Relationships can be complicated, sometimes people feel strong feelings towards someone, yet feel that the relationship is not what they need at the moment. A relationship is based on communication nd trust and if you are unable to give someone that then you should do what is best for you and them. Perhaps you should take some time and consider why you are unable to be in a relationship with the person you love. If you are able to explain to them why then communicating your feelings to them will hopefully lower any feelings of animosity. Trying to find reasons to hate someone if they had done nothing wrong is unfair on them and you. Instead take ownership of the breakup and try to find what the problem is and work on that. Breakups are not always about blame.
cherishedIris1771
April 8th, 2022 1:47am
Moving on from someone can be very challenging,and when you have no reason to hate them its even harder.Loving someone can be a great thing,it can have a lot of pros but also a bunch of cons.When we are told to move on from someone without a valid reason,its hard.We don't want to let go of that person but sometimes we need to no matter how much you guys love eachother.It won't be easy but it will take time and it will take a lot of strength,you don't need reasons to hate them if you want to let them go,there's no point if they did nothing wrong.Maybe it wasn't your time and place but you know what I promise you it will get better.Just move on peacefully or maybe you don't even have to,just depends on the situation.
plushMirage6297
June 11th, 2022 2:33am
You remember what is best for you sometimes doesn’t feel like the best. You don’t have to hate a person just to move on. You should look at it as you are doing this for you and you only and even though it hurts someone you love, if they truly love you they will want you to be happy and if not being able together is what has to happen then that person will let you go and both parties will agree to move on so that they do not stop eachother from their path they are choosing to follow. Yes it will hurt and feel unfair but the love will overcome that the pure love to let someone go.