I can't get over my ex after 5 years. What should I do?
251 Answers
Last Updated: 06/14/2022 at 12:35pm
Moderated by
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT
Art Therapist
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
Please put thought into it before taking a step. Getting over an ex can be tough and is reasonable. If you feel like it, you can either point out what you never liked about them or have a chat with them, letting them know how you really feel. Since there was a time you two were together, they'll probably understand and you can work out whatever works best for both of you.
Anonymous
March 23rd, 2016 2:32pm
Have fun! take your mind off it somehow by seeing a film, going out for a meal, go shopping, whatever you want! :)
It can be hard to let go sometimes, even when we want to. What do you feel is keeping you interested in this person?
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 11:44am
You should talk to your ex and see if he still has feelings for you. Also,talk to a trusted friend or family member and visit the 7 Cups Breakups Section.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2016 6:01am
You should get expert help...this is not normal and not healthy either.. Please get help immediately
Getting over an ex isn't easy. With any loss there is a grieving process that follows. Sometimes all you can do is wait it out. There is no time limit to the grieving process. There are steps you could take toward moving on though.
Contact her/him if he/she wants the same. If not, that alone will give you a reason to move on and make something out of your life. Do what you love. There are numerous thing to work into. And many new awesome people to fall for.
You should try forgetting him by convincing yourself that you no longer need him/her. You should see other guys/ girls :) Do not let yourself be lock up and stuck in the past. MOVE ON!
It is important for you to gain purpose in your life! You need things to make you so preoccupied that you feel as though you don't need your ex or need to think about him, find a hobbies or something you enjoy doing!
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 3:29am
Try to find the real reason why we can't get over and sometimes the best choice is let the time flow.
Try to focus on the better things of your life. Spend time with your Friends/family, try to fill gaps(if you have any) with others(friends/family), meet new people, invest your time in your hobbies, do something productive, Laugh, laugh a lot.
In this process you will make new friends, you will learn, a lot, may be you will find a new partner(May be he/she won't be the same as your Ex, but he/she will be perfect for you :) ) and if not then you will end up become a new Person, a better person. :)
Anonymous
April 30th, 2016 10:03am
It's okay to feel this way, try to get over him by distracting yourself and hang out with close friends, don't think about him much and block him from all social apps or stop doing whatever that makes you think of him.
Try to understand what's keeping your ex on your mind. After you've done that, try to distance yourself from it. Go out and do new things that you never could've done with them, enjoy freedoms you never had and you will start to move on
Learn that the past stays in the past. He is probably moving on to better things and so should you. Pick up a great hobby or go on vacation!
Getting over exes is quite the challenge. I would use one of 7 Cup's calming resources to help sort your thoughts, then talk to them about your feelings.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2016 7:06am
My suggestion? Find hobbies, writing, photography, reading even. Anything that can express and keep your mind off of it all help you move on and find something else to hold on to. Going out with friends is also a big help. Sure it can be annoying, people, going out, we all have times of viewing those things as awful and just don't want to do it. But it helps build you back up become cheerful again and maybe even finding someone new and better.
Anonymous
May 25th, 2016 2:01pm
it's tough. someday it will be figured out. i promise.
Have you met anyone?
Break ups can be really tough, but he best way to get over them is just focusing on yourself, and feeling better.
It's completely understandable to be attached to the good memories or to a person after 5 long years.its never easy to just forget a memory .but all I can say is some people are meant to pass and have an impact on your life.others create the impact by staying in it.its a matter of choice of who matters.if it's an ex it's meant to be forgotten coz somewhere either the ex or you dint make an effort to stick together.just cherish the wonderful memories you both shared and move on happily.
Spend some quality time with yourself. 5 years is a fair amount of time, some changes might have happened during that time.Get to know you once again . Some say the trick to getting over one person is to fall love with another, fall in love with yourself.
Maybe you should talk to him about how you feel and see wheter he feels the same and if he doesn't try and do something which can distract you for example, going out with some friends and maybe try and meet someone new.
Five years is a long time, so generally getting over said person will be rough, especially considering the fact that for the past five years, you've invested all of your time and love into that person. I would seek help from a professional, or try to get your mind off of your ex by doing outdoor activities! :)
Ask yourself why you can't get over him/her. Instead of the obvious, delve deeper and discover what frees you. Another shot? Or complete disclosure?
I know how you feel trying to get over someone you loved and i get it's hard. I can't say that you should get over him now or anything cause a heartbreak does take so much time to heal. Perhaps doing simple task that makes you happier and live can be a great first step. Accepting and loving yourself is a great way to start and when you're ready you should go out to the world and be happy.
The best way to recover from a previous relationship is to start a new one. Of course, it's usually bad to jump from one serious relationship into another one. But if it's been five years, it's time to open yourself to new possibilities. Be prepared for it to take a few tries to find someone who is right for you. Don't be daunted. With the right mindset, this should be an exciting prospect!
Pay attention to the fact that there might be something holding you back from moving on...are you still having any hope regarding your relationship with him?is there anything you still want to say to him or clarify something?is there something you need an explaination for..?if it is any of these...do something that will result in resolving this conflict or mayb you believe that was your only love and you have lost that.in that case know that true love wont ever make you miserable n if it didnt work it wasnt the ultimate one
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 3:08pm
I had the same problem and it helped me a lot to ask myself why I can't get over my ex for such a long time and if my ex is really the problem or if I should change something in my life to get more happy :-)
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2016 2:18am
Sounds like you are facing some anxiety. Love is a beautiful thing. Sometimes no matter how hard you try you just wouldn't be able to get over that person because you made that person a part of your life. But the world is full of opportunities. You just need to open your eyes to see them right in front of you. Keep your hopes on and you'll find someone whose love will make you forget every stress around you
Anonymous
July 5th, 2016 3:37am
Try and occupy yourself, time heals all wounds. Block your ex on all social media as well, it is time to let it go. or at least try to.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2016 10:50am
I know how streesful this situation should be but i think you should move on , by doing things that make you happy, like new hobbies, meeting new people ..What you have lived together I am sure is something beautiful but everything tends to end one day and we have to move on and remember all these with a smile
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 10:10pm
You need to fill the void that your ex has left. Get involved in hobbies you enjoy. Find a temporary replacement if you need to.
Related Questions: I can't get over my ex after 5 years. What should I do?
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?