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I can't get over my ex boyfriend. What should I do?

88 Answers
Last Updated: 12/14/2020 at 8:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Graham Barrone, Adip ICHP, MCBT

Counselor

If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat.

Top Rated Answers
Mickalene
January 31st, 2016 6:11pm
It is so difficult to get over some you care about. One minute they are in you life the next they are permanently gone. The best that I found to get over a boyfriend was to acknowledge the loss; acknowledge the pain; busy yourself with great friends and healthy activities and also take some time to take care of yourself.
ciaraorourke333
January 31st, 2016 11:02pm
You have to think with a positive mind. sometimes in order to get over someone you have to just let go...I personally am a very attached person and I find it hard to let people go but sometimes you just have to give up and move on...try take your mind off things by going out with friends or doing something you enjoy like a sport or a hobby
Greatlistener87
February 3rd, 2016 3:11am
Take it one step at a time. A break up is not an easy thing to get through. But always remember why you break up with your ex in the 1st place and accept it. Then try to move on knowing that you can do better.
AliciaJ
February 3rd, 2016 5:24am
Don't contact him for a while. That means absolutely no facebook messenging, skyping, texting or stalking. Don't look through your old photos or e-mails -- put them away. If you are still grieving and are feeling a bit anti-social, staying at home is fine. Read a book, watch some TV shows, get yourself an organised timetable for daily routines, Or you can go out and hang out with friends, and maybe even reach out them for help. Keep yourself busy. It's hard, but remember the hardest part is already over when you decide to take action. Don't reach out till him until you're emotionally stable enough and rational enough. You can do it!
TheSunWillShine9
February 3rd, 2016 11:39pm
Getting over someone you had an emotional connection with can be very hard. Wheather it was you or ur partner who ended the relationship it ultimately leaves you and him/her with many insecurities and questions about and to yourself such as "did i do the right thing?" "Does that mean im not enough?". In my opinion the first step in getting over someone is to clear out your head from all the doubts and seek peace in the ending of things in order to e able to look beyon and reach step number 2 which is to learn to love yourself. Which is important because u must reassure yourself that you are no less than enough and that you are capable of being on your own. Step number 3 is to distance yourself from any confusion or altercation concerning your ex, its best not to have them walking in and out of your life as they please which leads to step number 4, be confident that you will find someone for you, but in order for the right person to come along you must be the right person that can be found.
FindYourStrength01
February 4th, 2016 3:09am
Ask yourself what it is you miss about them really. Depending on what it is see how you can compensate being single and doing these things for yourself. Breakups are always worst the first few weeks and maybe even months however eventually you find your way. Remember you were just as whole now as you were before they entered your life.
TamaraHelps99
February 12th, 2016 7:38pm
Talk to your friends and do something with them or your family. The most important thing is to get out of the house and get your mind free of all those thoughts.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2016 9:38pm
Try to find a new hobby, make new friends, talk to old friends. Of course, grieving is necessary, but if it's interfering with your life you may want to consider talking to a therapist.
bambooPanda15
February 13th, 2016 2:53pm
Try to not think about it, surround yourself with things that will make you forget. Hang out with friends or watch a video that could make your forget. I understand that it is hard to get over something like this. But try doing something that could help you forget or something that could make you feel happy.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2016 10:34am
You can't kill him for sure. Try to talk to him more often, or tell him you can't take it anymore. Or perhaps buy a cat or a dog and name him with your ex-boyfriends name .... will sort out a bit of problems that way
clokkerfoot
February 14th, 2016 3:52pm
I know it's hard, but try to stop thinking about him. Distract yourself by doing things you love! Eventually, you'll realise that you can have plenty of fun without him, and you might realise why you broke up in the first place - and why it was probably a good thing!
ahannahi96
February 17th, 2016 1:19pm
It will be hard to begin with, but eventually it will get better. You will start to see why the relationship didn't work and that your life can and will get better without him.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 3:32pm
Remember why you both broke up, I have been in the exact position and I thought of reasons on why it's better that we separated
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 5:25pm
It helps to focus your energy and love for him on yourself. Romanticize yourself. Take a bubble bath, go out to eat, maybe treat yourself to a new outfit. Figure out who you really are without him and then work your way up from there.
Sweetiepiejessie
February 20th, 2016 10:21am
When you are younger not being able to get over your x is completely normal. everybody experiences it at any age. Talk to someone you trust like a close friend or family.
Anonymous
February 20th, 2016 7:20pm
The main thing is to try not to reminisce too much on previous times, for this could make the breakup a lot more difficult. Instead, visit friends or family who can help you forget until you can completely forget about him all on your own. Life is much more than boys, it's about you and your happiness.
hierofheart
February 21st, 2016 9:22pm
If you can't get over him, it depends on your situation. If you're friends, and it hurts, you should do what you think is best, even if you end a friendship.
LexxLuther
February 25th, 2016 2:14am
Exes can be hard to deal with, but its a natural part of life. Everyone has breakups and at one point or another get heart broken. The best thing to do after a breakup is to evaluate yourself, you're not physically hurt, right? So you can make it through this. You are strong, and you can show your ex that you can do everything you could with them at least 10 times better by yourself, because you are Amazing. Try to hang out with your friends, and talk to people you trust about how you feel. Many adults and friends will help you get over. Sometimes just a few nights of hanging out at a bowling alley or grabbing a bite will help you realize that maybe the breakup was good for you too, and that maybe there is someone else out there who deserves a great person like you. Never be held back by someone who wasn't held back by you, you are the number 1 priority in your life, always do what you think is best for you
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 11:14am
You need an activity, clear your mind and meet new people to talk maybe you find a new boyfirend or just a new friend who makes you feel better
onedirection1213
February 25th, 2016 12:17pm
well try to do something else , like things you like to do. like listen to music or draw or sport a sport and something like that.
Anonymous
February 26th, 2016 3:54pm
Just focus on school or your job. Try to think of the good moments he or she had with you and its there loss that they lost you, its not your fault
Anonymous
February 27th, 2016 4:05pm
you need to join in social activity and meet new people there. maybe one of have have the same interest as you.
emjagrace
March 2nd, 2016 5:27am
Take some time to focus on yourself, your happiness and your future instead of dwelling on the past! Break-ups can be hard to get through, I know, but if you surround yourself with friends and good environments it'll be a bit easier for you.
resourcefulVision41
March 2nd, 2016 4:46pm
I suggest that you block him off all social media. This is always helpful. Also, cutting communication is key to moving on.
loveforever
March 3rd, 2016 1:24am
Try to figure out things why you can't get over with your ex boyfriend. Are you just making yourself getting back things that can't be bring back or you are just stuck in memories? Maybe it's hard to let go a person who have been part of your life. But life goes on. It's a matter of acceptance and letting go. It;s your choice if you want to remain stuck or to start moving on then re-start your life. Remember always that you are the one choosing for your own happiness.
TheSupport
March 5th, 2016 4:24pm
In most cases, friends and family are a great help to spend time and forget all the sadness. Talk it out/cry it out, anything will help.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 2:19pm
Try to find something that clicks with you, like a hobby. The more you do the hobby the more you'll stop worrying about that person. Sorta distant your self from that person.
charmingBubbles59
March 9th, 2016 4:19am
It will hurt but will help you the most is to distract yourself. Hang out with friends, let them show you that life is more than boys. Don't TRY to make him jealous, MAKE him jealous by seeing what he no longer has. (:
npou021
March 10th, 2016 12:17am
The best advice for getting over someone is focusing on yourself, it may not sound helpful but in my experience when you put your head into bettering all the other aspects in your life such as work or even a hobby, you forget about the pain and start feeling better and better about yourself.
DonaldK
March 12th, 2016 8:32pm
First I am sorry for the pain anyone is feeling over loosing their ex boyfriend, loosing anyone is tough. Second the misnomer of "get over" anything is possible. It's not. You can however slowly move forward, it won't happen overnight. The key is finding the real reason you can'r move forward, to do that I hope you have friends to count on. If you are reading then find someone here on 7cups you can lean on. Just talk to them about nonsense if you want. Play happy uplifting music, help someone in need. There are so many things good things you can occupy your mind wth. In the end you never want to "get over" that person. Everything has a purpose. Rejoice in the time you had, they will always be apart of you.