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I can't get over my ex girlfriend or boyfriend after a year. What should I do?

115 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2018 at 7:04am
I can't get over my ex girlfriend or boyfriend after a year. What should I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
magneticVision20
April 28th, 2016 10:25am
Stop seeing them. Stop texting them. Delete all of their physical presence from your life. Then, make new opposite gender friends. Keep them as friends, no other intentions. Slowly(around 3-4) you will become best friends with one or two, you may still keep missing them, but within a span of 5 months, you will see change happening.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2016 8:39am
You should stop thinking about him/she. The best thing to do that is to remove there pictures and things that remind you of them. You should appreciate the things that were good and forgive the bad things. Your ex move on and so should you! Go and find someone else, someone better. Set goals and make it happen! :)
Anonymous
May 27th, 2016 6:26am
All experiences of loss needs to be given time for mourning. Grieving is a part of the natural process towards healing. It is also highly individualized. People grieve in their own way and when to move from grieving cant be dictated. However, each one would intuitively know on their own when it would be time to make certain steps towards healing. For break ups, acceptance and forgiveness plays an integral part in total healing.
brilliantRiver83
June 8th, 2016 3:22am
In my experience, professional help and self-improvement has worked wonders. I expanded my social circle a little, I got closer to my family, and I picked up new interests and hobbies to pass the time. I knew that I needed to spend as little time as possible each day thinking about various exes. Having things to do helped with that. Therapy has helped me identify my weaknesses and strengths. It takes however long it takes to get over someone. There's no timeline. You move at your own pace. Check out the app Rx Breakup. One day it'll hurt less. Just keep moving forward.
Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 12:24am
Let her or him go like i did. When my pain was so fresh i learnt how to forget i was on drugs but suddenly someone came to my life and everything has changed so all i can say is let them go and open your heart even its the hardest step
DrumBhudda
April 1st, 2016 11:49am
Often relationships end badly due to the fact they were unhealthy to start with. With that in mind, acknowledge what went wrong in the relationship and what you learned from it all rather than dwelling on the feelings you still have. These will fade as you seek resolution in yourself by reconnecting with yourself the way you did with that person. Soon you will look back and understand that you mistook a life experience for a soul-mate.
Greatlistener87
January 14th, 2016 1:55am
Always remember that your ex is your ex for a reason and that reason defines where you stand. Try meeting new people and doing more things for yourself. Broaden your mind and grow and in time all thoughts of your ex will fade.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 6:36am
Try to truly think about where you want to be in life and accept that the person you were with before will not always be in your life.
happyhelper73
May 1st, 2016 1:22am
I think what you should do is first realise they are an ex for a reason and start going out more places and yalking to more people eventually you will find someone trust me
Aspire2Motivate
January 23rd, 2016 11:25pm
Taking time to focus on yourself,It depends on the person when they feel ready to let go of their ex
Anonymous
May 6th, 2016 2:33pm
delete everything that reminds you of them, numbers, pictures,emails and text messages
Alexisgkr
May 16th, 2016 9:44pm
As human beings, we need togetherness, which means having another person in our life that loves us and cares. What people don't understand is that a relationship can last when there's happiness. Happiness that cones from inside. That same happiness is created when you care for yourself and do things that make you succeed and accomplish your goals. That creates self-happiness which share with the other person and makes your relationship last. So, my advice is to try and find again your self-worth, fix your self-esteem, build a good relationship with yourself first, and then you will be able to forget and share that love with a new person!
AnimalOfFood
May 21st, 2016 7:27pm
You're possibly still in denial which is fine, it's common in relationship. You can make it through!
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 11:22am
You know you have lost a year of your beautiful life. The life is yours and it is not for being sad. You should consider only you at first then you will see that the time was waste. You had good memories together and let them stay that way. Now you should be happy to had someone made you feel good .
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 1:30pm
Put all of your energy into a job, your friends, family, or anything that you like. Find a new hobby.
Jesse1285
April 3rd, 2016 12:33am
It can often be difficult to get over a relationship you were heavily invested in. My personal feelings are that reaching out and developing new friends and new experiences tend to move you past the older events that you hold on to. A new relationship won't fix the feelings, but new friends and experiences often lead to you moving past the old feelings.
Anonymous
May 8th, 2016 12:04pm
try to keep yourself busy with life things , sports , games , work , family and friends visits , and don't think about it too much , and remember what ever your ex experience was, you'll learn from it and grow up to be a lot wiser because of it.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2016 2:15pm
Sorry to hear that, it must've troubled you a lot. Getting over someone is never an easy task but you can succeed if you are determined.It's okay if you feel like things are not going to change, try giving yourself time. Stressing over it will only leave you struggling so try keeping yourself busy/productive so you don't have to constantly worry. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and when things get bad, smile and tell yourself that you can and you will get through it! c:
Square
May 18th, 2016 8:19am
Getting over an ex is hard. Trust me. But the first step is realising, I can finally think for myself which I never have before. Do something you've never done. Travel to somewhere you've never been. Even smallest thing go to a concert and let loose.
nitrons
May 26th, 2016 3:08pm
I would give myself some time. I will be patient. I will keep myself busy to distract myself from negative thoughts.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 5:22am
Tell them how you feel about them! Tell them that you still like/love them and let your feelings out. I'm not suggesting that you get back together with them (unless that's what you wanna do.) but the best way to get over them is to confront them and make piece with your feelings. After all, you can't help liking someone.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 9:35pm
Start your career life focus on your career more than personal life. Have out with friends Don't stay alone.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2016 10:55pm
If they are with somebody new and moved on that's a really hard place to be in. You could try telling them how you feel if they are sit single,maybe they haven't moved on either? If they have a new partner you could try to distract yourself from thinking so much of them by doing and trying new hobbies.
SMStar
July 9th, 2016 12:23am
Remove everything about her/him, on your phone or maybe in your room, if you haven't done that already. Keep your mind busy, and remember, sometimes i takes way longer to get over a breakup than you think. Good luck! :)
CharmingForest
February 6th, 2016 4:46pm
Try meeting new people, and you will find that theres a lot of great people out there that will care for you
hopefulScenery1
February 27th, 2016 4:50am
you should look for someone new. i now its hard but there was reason there your ex. and try not to think about them.
Compassionateandcaring22
March 4th, 2016 9:17am
getting over is a processes and will not come in an instant.. I hope this link helps you http://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/lesson1.html
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 11:30pm
That's perfectly okay, by the way, just saying. Some things you could do is reevaluate your relationship with them, and try to see if breaking up with them was the right choice. Or you could talk to them again, just like a friend, and see if that helps.
fancyCandy23
March 25th, 2016 10:10am
try to focus more on yourself and what makes you great, not what they find great. love yourself before you love someone else
GoLobster
May 26th, 2016 12:21pm
Try to find new people. I know its easy to type. But there is always someone for somebody, if you cannot socialize, try joining a dating site like MeetMe or Eharminy