I can't get over my first love. What should I do?
92 Answers
Last Updated: 06/24/2020 at 6:24pm
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2016 3:48pm
Sometimes first loves, although they seem like real loves, are just the first person who gave you the idea of love. Did they make you happy? would they still make you happy? then try to contact them!
Don't forget about your first love! And maybe they feel the same way so you should talk to them about it
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 7:46am
I think getting over your first love is one of the hardest things anyone ever has to do. But you have to realize that it is your first love, and there will be many more to come. For me, I got over them by realising that my first love isn't my last, and that my last is the one I should honestly care about. We are always trying to move on to bigger and better things and it should apply to the people you love as well.
I say, find a hobby. Find something that could make your mind off of him/her. Try to do arts, or music, or anything you want. It helps.
Anonymous
March 24th, 2016 8:24am
The best way is to start focusing on yourself... love yourself! write down a bucket list (start with 5 things) of things you want to do (can even include your bestie!) and start going through it. focusing on you and what you want helps you to get your mind of them and builds you up (getting ready for your next relationship).. For me i went to different exercise classes with my bestie it got me active and out of my comfort zone, i also started doing art on my own and watching netflix documentries
Remember that if its meant to be it will be and if it's not, than something better is coming your way. Allow yourself to feel sad and heartbroken but only for a short time. Instead allow yourself to be excited about the next chapter of your story.
Don't try to. It will just happen some day, maybe without you even realizing it. Suddenly you'll be reminded of him or her, and you'll just know you are over them. One thing I do, that helps, is write a letter to them, and don't send it. Keep it. It's a way of telling them how you feel, if only just for yourself. It's a great way to find out how you really feel.
Maybe you never get over some people, you just learn to live with the pain!
Getting over anyone in any serious or non-serious relationship can be hard and does take time. Everyone gets over someone sooner than others and that's based on the individual. Things will be okay and you just need to let yourself know whatever with your first love didn't work out doesn't mean it won't for someone else.
So keep him/her in your heart. No one asks you to stop loving him/her. But you still need to move on with life. If life treats you right and spare you another good soul to match, give him/her the rest of your life. The first love never goes away, always remains somehow in your heart because that's still a good memory. Just be happy cause that makes you to become a new version today.
Take as much time as you need to get over the person. Stop romanticizing them if you can. Do not rush yourself though. There is no fool-proof way of letting go for everyone. You have to find out what works best for you.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2016 10:33pm
either reach out to them on a website or through text if you have a phone or if you think it is becoming an obsession talk to a therapist
Think about why it didn't work out, but don't blame yourself. Relationships are a two way street. If your significant other didn't embrace everything that makes you YOU, then he/she is not the right person.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 10:03am
Your first love is always special, but once you find the right guy it will pass. Losing someone you love takes time to get over. Don't worry, you will eventually. Just give it more time.
By the way, sometimes years later you wonder why you loved him in the first place.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 10:17am
We all don't go over that. Its who taught us what love is. We just move on and forget about what we feel for them. That's all.
Go out there, do something for yourself, have fun, and meet new people. That first love will forever be etched inside your heart and mind, but it's the last love that counts.
It's okay, when you have learned to love yourself more, you'll get through it in time
and you learn a lot of things
Anonymous
February 26th, 2016 8:15am
Be grateful that your first love was a positive enough experience to remember fondly. Mourn that loss, learn from it, and move on a stronger, more self-assured person.
im in the same position its hard I know but you will probably always love that person but sometimes the only thing you can do is move on or talk to them and maybe get them back
Anonymous
February 27th, 2016 10:17am
Lets admit that first love is a hard thing to get over with. Your head might be filled with a lot of worrying thoughts right now; what if there is no one like him/her? what if no one gonna make me feel like that again? and more questions coming. Well, people are coming in and out of our lives, thats nature. The only way to get over someone is to believe that they are not meant to be in your live. It might be wrong person, or wrong timing. The thing is, if its not meant to be happening right now, then it wont.
It is really hard to get over to your first love. Everything "first" is really remarkable. You just need to continue your life, always remember the lesson that you learned from your first love and focus in your priorities.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 4:16am
It's fine, you can't get over someone quickly it'll take time, but you will get over him or her, so don't be worry if you don't get over him right away.
you can.stop telling yourself you cant....your words and thoughts control you,the moment you start controlling them youll feel better.trust me
Anonymous
April 20th, 2020 2:54pm
Take time to feel, dont supress the emotion, make sure you are safe and if feeling to overwhelmed with the thoughts, take a break and come back to it later. It hurts noww but time always helps situations like this. I recently broke up with the boy i love after nine months. It still hurts. Hurting is normal, never forget that. Have you tried talking it out with people? in many cases talking with someone trusted helps a person get through hard times. Im sorry that you are having a hard time getting over this person and i hope that you are in a safe place and are able to get through this soon.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2018 1:34pm
Getting over your first love is difficult, i know understand. Been there. But it takes time. Patience is a virtue. You will find someone who is worthy of your love.
a persons first love is a very big event in many peoples lives and they may always hold a special place in your heart there is not reason though that you cant move on and have other loves
Keep the happy memories, forgive yourself for anything at all, and get out there and have fun flirting!
This is definitely tough, but I think if you want to get over them you have to push yourself to move on.
Try to think positive. You two probably had a great time, these memories will last forever, but now it's over and you have to move on. Try to distract you, spend time with people who make you feel happy. It will get better!
Try to love yourself more :) be kind to yourself and have patience, It will go away when you'll find a new person of interest :) ! Untill then, take care of yourself and do things that you love :) !
Related Questions: I can't get over my first love. What should I do?
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?