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I can't get over my first love. What should I do?

92 Answers
Last Updated: 06/24/2020 at 6:24pm
I can't get over my first love. What should I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 4:16am
It's fine, you can't get over someone quickly it'll take time, but you will get over him or her, so don't be worry if you don't get over him right away.
reeyseelbeel05
February 11th, 2016 2:50pm
It is really hard to get over to your first love. Everything "first" is really remarkable. You just need to continue your life, always remember the lesson that you learned from your first love and focus in your priorities.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2016 10:03am
Your first love is always special, but once you find the right guy it will pass. Losing someone you love takes time to get over. Don't worry, you will eventually. Just give it more time. By the way, sometimes years later you wonder why you loved him in the first place.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 10:17am
We all don't go over that. Its who taught us what love is. We just move on and forget about what we feel for them. That's all.
MouseArmy99
February 21st, 2016 11:28am
Go out there, do something for yourself, have fun, and meet new people. That first love will forever be etched inside your heart and mind, but it's the last love that counts.
RainDear
February 24th, 2016 4:45pm
It's okay, when you have learned to love yourself more, you'll get through it in time and you learn a lot of things
Anonymous
February 26th, 2016 8:15am
Be grateful that your first love was a positive enough experience to remember fondly. Mourn that loss, learn from it, and move on a stronger, more self-assured person.
colorfulSummer66
February 27th, 2016 12:56am
Think about why it didn't work out, but don't blame yourself. Relationships are a two way street. If your significant other didn't embrace everything that makes you YOU, then he/she is not the right person.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2016 3:48pm
Sometimes first loves, although they seem like real loves, are just the first person who gave you the idea of love. Did they make you happy? would they still make you happy? then try to contact them!
Bubbles46
- Expert in Breakups
March 16th, 2016 4:02pm
Don't forget about your first love! And maybe they feel the same way so you should talk to them about it
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 7:46am
I think getting over your first love is one of the hardest things anyone ever has to do. But you have to realize that it is your first love, and there will be many more to come. For me, I got over them by realising that my first love isn't my last, and that my last is the one I should honestly care about. We are always trying to move on to bigger and better things and it should apply to the people you love as well.
trisjlistens
March 21st, 2016 3:40pm
I say, find a hobby. Find something that could make your mind off of him/her. Try to do arts, or music, or anything you want. It helps.
Anonymous
March 24th, 2016 8:24am
The best way is to start focusing on yourself... love yourself! write down a bucket list (start with 5 things) of things you want to do (can even include your bestie!) and start going through it. focusing on you and what you want helps you to get your mind of them and builds you up (getting ready for your next relationship).. For me i went to different exercise classes with my bestie it got me active and out of my comfort zone, i also started doing art on my own and watching netflix documentries
politeTime90
March 26th, 2016 7:45pm
Remember that if its meant to be it will be and if it's not, than something better is coming your way. Allow yourself to feel sad and heartbroken but only for a short time. Instead allow yourself to be excited about the next chapter of your story.
Iamlistening92
March 29th, 2016 2:47pm
Don't try to. It will just happen some day, maybe without you even realizing it. Suddenly you'll be reminded of him or her, and you'll just know you are over them. One thing I do, that helps, is write a letter to them, and don't send it. Keep it. It's a way of telling them how you feel, if only just for yourself. It's a great way to find out how you really feel.
Blueevil91
April 7th, 2016 7:35am
So keep him/her in your heart. No one asks you to stop loving him/her. But you still need to move on with life. If life treats you right and spare you another good soul to match, give him/her the rest of your life. The first love never goes away, always remains somehow in your heart because that's still a good memory. Just be happy cause that makes you to become a new version today.
StrawberrySunshine77
April 11th, 2016 6:38pm
Take as much time as you need to get over the person. Stop romanticizing them if you can. Do not rush yourself though. There is no fool-proof way of letting go for everyone. You have to find out what works best for you.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2016 10:33pm
either reach out to them on a website or through text if you have a phone or if you think it is becoming an obsession talk to a therapist
GingerBread212
July 5th, 2016 10:10am
Take the time to grieve for your loss. Know that it's okay to still have feelings for them, as long as they don't overwhelm you. Perhaps focusing on other priorities in life would help. Cherish and appreciate the good times as well as the bad, in time you'll be able to look back and be okay with it.
avanef
May 8th, 2017 3:16pm
Getting over anyone in any serious or non-serious relationship can be hard and does take time. Everyone gets over someone sooner than others and that's based on the individual. Things will be okay and you just need to let yourself know whatever with your first love didn't work out doesn't mean it won't for someone else.
BlaireMack198
January 23rd, 2016 11:22pm
I'm in this same boat right now actually, what I'm doing is I'm trying not to think about him, I'm hoping that the less I think about him the faster I can get over him.
ceecil
February 12th, 2016 6:06am
it may be helpful to take a few weeks for yourself, completely distancing yourself from any of their social media or anything else connected to them. spend some time with yourself and with your friends, and you might find that things feel less raw. this gives you a chance to look at things from a distance and come back into yourself, so to speak. there is no right way to heal or to move on, unfortunately. but remember that first implies next, and as impossible and difficult as it might seem right now, all of this will come to an end, and things will move forward as they always do.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 10:51am
Try to get over it by deleting their contact, email and phone number. You can start going to salon, and party. Have a lot me time would help.
Daisyinclouds
February 17th, 2016 7:11pm
Try to love yourself more :) be kind to yourself and have patience, It will go away when you'll find a new person of interest :) ! Untill then, take care of yourself and do things that you love :) !
VioletWescott
February 21st, 2016 9:18pm
It's totally normal to have a hard time. Just learn to accept that it ended for a reason, and apply that to your next romance. Live and learn :)
Chinup221
February 24th, 2016 2:21pm
I know how you feel. It's hard and it hurts. That feeling you get knowing they don't feel the same way. But it's time to move on honey. You can do it. When you're over them it'll open you up to so many new people.
EternalMaps
February 26th, 2016 11:54pm
No one ever forgets their first love. It's an important milestone. You need to figure out what happened, why it went wrong and move on from there. Try and keep yourself busy doing positve things and try not to romanticize the past. Our brains have a brilliant way of forgetting the bad and only remembering the good. Good Luck!
Anonymous
February 27th, 2016 9:16am
You focus on you, you do the things you love and aspire to do. Make yourself happy, because you deserve it. Alhough you never truly get over your first love you most defintally can move on
Anonymous
February 27th, 2016 10:17am
Lets admit that first love is a hard thing to get over with. Your head might be filled with a lot of worrying thoughts right now; what if there is no one like him/her? what if no one gonna make me feel like that again? and more questions coming. Well, people are coming in and out of our lives, thats nature. The only way to get over someone is to believe that they are not meant to be in your live. It might be wrong person, or wrong timing. The thing is, if its not meant to be happening right now, then it wont.
Monica123
February 27th, 2016 6:24pm
Focus on why it ended. When you are in love, you only see the good side of a person. Now that you guys are separate you can focus on his/her negatives. And you will realize that there is a reason it didnt work out and you are better off without them.