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I can't go on without my partner, I feel like my life has got no sense now. What can I do?

23 Answers
Last Updated: 02/04/2020 at 1:11pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Kristin Noyes, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Depression and anxiety can feel overwhelming even on the best of days. I believe in helping clients understand these disorders and help them to reduce and manage symptoms.

Top Rated Answers
Brettlstar
October 30th, 2014 2:51am
This is an Ego boundary issue and one of grief. Its complex. Firstly, its normal to feel loss as you have lost a part of your "sense of self" and it takes a little time to rediscover who you are on your own. You have also lost someone you cared for, someone who was part of your dreams of the future, your plans... so many things. You need to get used to sleeping alone, cooking wihout them in mind etc.. its hard. It honestly just takes time and a bit of self love. Remember who you are not who you are with another person. There is a big difference. Learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company. That is a good place to be. Life will make sense when you rediscover yourself - I promise.
Crimsonknight3
November 15th, 2014 3:25am
This question has plagued me more times than I would like. There is no easy answer because no matter what anybody can say, you will still feel empty. Peoples ordinary advice is "You will feel better soon" and it is true, but in that state of misery you just can't bring yourself to believe that things could get better. The best thing to do is try and get out of the house more, even if it is just you on your own. My favourite thing was to go to a coffee shop every day for 1-2 hours. It really helped me just to be around other people
tranquilJoy
January 21st, 2019 12:46am
I was in a similar position not too long ago myself, after my partner left me. I was left severely depressed, feeling like you described. Once hitting my lowest point I realized that my happiness should not lie in the hands of one person. I started caring for myself more, started daily exercise and made an effort to see friends and family at least every two days. My life’s purpose seemed to come back as I was healthier, surrounded with people who cared for me and was more confident than ever. I know that it is hard to get the motivation to start a change in your life when you may be feeling depressed, but you must find inner strength because things will get better!
Briannalovesyou
October 14th, 2014 7:01pm
We often have people we encounter in our lives that make us feel a certain way. Sometimes it is good, sometimes is it bad. It is hard when people that we love and care for are taken away from us, but we have to smile, and remember that it gets better over time. We are all on this earth for a reason, dont give up! You can be you without the being of anyone else. :)
jollyfox
November 2nd, 2014 8:21pm
Go someplace quiet: a park bench, the lake, near a fountain downtown, and reflect on your relationship; think about what it meant. Your partner meant a lot to you. Your life may be different now. But you had a life before you met your partner, and so you will after. Your paths have crossed and now it is time for them to part. So take advantage of that. Rekindle your passion: find a new hobby, an interest, pursue an old one, reconnect with friends, family. Take a walk. Go to the gym. Learn new things. Try new things. Watch a movie. Talk to someone. You can do anything you want.
akr
November 20th, 2014 6:13pm
DON'T RELY ON YOUR PARTNER..YOUR PARTNER IS NOT YOUR LIFE AND NOT YOU WORLD..YOU ARE YOUR LIFE.. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN LOVE.. LOVE YOURSELF CONCENTRATE ON YOURSELF!! BE BETTER!
ItsDrey
April 24th, 2017 12:43pm
Happiness, which is dependant on others is only temporary. Individual happiness is the most important thing in one's life and it should come from within. This is achieved by finding your true passion - by finding something you can do completely on your own. If you have nothing to be passionate about, just try new things. Don't worry if you drop them after just a few days. Life is meant to be experience to the fullest.
helpmeHelpyou61
November 12th, 2014 12:22pm
You can and you will. You were doing great before your partner entered in your life, weren't you? It is easy. You just have to believe in yourself. Gather confidence that you are capable of doing it. Explore yourself and LIVE!
JustAnEmpath
June 14th, 2016 5:31am
From one heartbreak to another, I can say that I understand what it is to feel completely shattered by the loss of a relationship. The best way to move on is to just learn how to find yourself again. Practice self care, and reconnect with friends and hobbies. Time is going to heal that broken heart- trust me.
Anaiviv01
February 4th, 2020 1:11pm
The problem after a break-up is the fact we realize how much we've invested in the relationship and how less we've cultivated ourselves. Of course, breaking up is a huge trauma and we can compare it to the death of a loved one. This is the best chance you have to work out your emotional muscles and build up more confidence. Embrace that void and take your time to fill it up slowly, without becoming dependent on others in order to function correctly on a daily basis. Think many people don't have the chance to be still and quiet, or looking at themselves in the mirror.
Nisha14
October 25th, 2014 7:12am
Find something that you already love in life, and invest more time in it. You are an unique talented idividual with many options in life
wonderfulSky17
November 3rd, 2014 8:44am
Don't be concerned if it's that way for awhile, it doesn't mean anything is permanently wrong with you. Like feeling to a numb limb it will come back slowly with time.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2014 5:37am
Check out brightMoon18, She is amazing at helping broken relationships. You should check her out and see if she can help you. :)
Anonymous
November 8th, 2014 4:15pm
Gradually start doing things or trying something new on your own and maybe join a group or a hobby club or something. Its about discovering more about yourself and learning about yourself and self-care really.
Mayaisthename
November 15th, 2014 5:44pm
once you do it, I promise you you'll feel different, scary at first but it's worth it, good luck .
Anonymous
November 16th, 2015 1:10pm
Prioritize what is most important to you in life, be thankful for the things you have instead of mourning over what you've lost.
blissfulFlower72
September 17th, 2019 7:48pm
I can very much relate to this my partner and I do everything together. I would be more involved by volunteering my time. You can do things such as volunteering at a dog shelter or being a big brother or big sister. Depending on age I know there are also grandparent volunteering where children that have no grandparents are appointed one through volunteering. You can also help people on here, I cannot tell you how many people touched my life before I decided to become a listener. As a listener now it makes me feel great to help others. I feel like they help me become a better person.
jessieheretohelp
October 21st, 2014 2:13am
Get out and find a new partner! There has to be someone. Your life has meaning - don't ever think it doesn't.
Uniqueg
October 23rd, 2014 9:07pm
Try going back to the things you used to do before you met your partner, also try new things and meet new people, find your self again.
glisteningCandy95
November 5th, 2014 2:09am
It's important to remember what life was like before them. It's especially useful to reconnect with people you knew from before meeting them, like friends and family members. Remembering your hobbies from before, or interests you gave up during the relationship could help you feel grounded and remember that you've survived and lived without them before, and you can do it again.
bethdoeslife
April 18th, 2015 10:15am
Maybe try distracting yourself, watch your favorite films, hang out with friends, try writing about your feelings or keeping a diary? I also find writing a list of things that make me happy (even really little things like... bubbles!) and then reading through it when I'm feeling down helps :) I hope you feel better soon!
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2015 9:12am
Spend time with your friends and family. Get distracted, do activities that you enjoy, try to think about some things you want to do, set a long term goal that can help you see the future you can have.
Fraz
August 2nd, 2016 6:16am
It is a rather natural feeling when one gets acclimated towards a certain person, situation, place or thing. Finding something your passionate about might be key in helping you distract yourself and get over such negative feelings.