I can't go on without my partner, I feel like my life has got no sense now. What can I do?
Last Updated: 02/04/2020 at 1:11pm
Kristin Noyes, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Depression and anxiety can feel overwhelming even on the best of days. I believe in helping clients understand these disorders and help them to reduce and manage symptoms.
Top Rated Answers
This is an Ego boundary issue and one of grief. Its complex. Firstly, its normal to feel loss as you have lost a part of your "sense of self" and it takes a little time to rediscover who you are on your own. You have also lost someone you cared for, someone who was part of your dreams of the future, your plans... so many things. You need to get used to sleeping alone, cooking wihout them in mind etc.. its hard. It honestly just takes time and a bit of self love. Remember who you are not who you are with another person. There is a big difference. Learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company. That is a good place to be. Life will make sense when you rediscover yourself - I promise.
This question has plagued me more times than I would like. There is no easy answer because no matter what anybody can say, you will still feel empty. Peoples ordinary advice is "You will feel better soon" and it is true, but in that state of misery you just can't bring yourself to believe that things could get better. The best thing to do is try and get out of the house more, even if it is just you on your own. My favourite thing was to go to a coffee shop every day for 1-2 hours. It really helped me just to be around other people
I was in a similar position not too long ago myself, after my partner left me. I was left severely depressed, feeling like you described. Once hitting my lowest point I realized that my happiness should not lie in the hands of one person. I started caring for myself more, started daily exercise and made an effort to see friends and family at least every two days. My life’s purpose seemed to come back as I was healthier, surrounded with people who cared for me and was more confident than ever. I know that it is hard to get the motivation to start a change in your life when you may be feeling depressed, but you must find inner strength because things will get better!
We often have people we encounter in our lives that make us feel a certain way. Sometimes it is good, sometimes is it bad. It is hard when people that we love and care for are taken away from us, but we have to smile, and remember that it gets better over time. We are all on this earth for a reason, dont give up! You can be you without the being of anyone else. :)
Go someplace quiet: a park bench, the lake, near a fountain downtown, and reflect on your relationship; think about what it meant. Your partner meant a lot to you. Your life may be different now. But you had a life before you met your partner, and so you will after. Your paths have crossed and now it is time for them to part. So take advantage of that. Rekindle your passion: find a new hobby, an interest, pursue an old one, reconnect with friends, family. Take a walk. Go to the gym. Learn new things. Try new things. Watch a movie. Talk to someone. You can do anything you want.
DON'T RELY ON YOUR PARTNER..YOUR PARTNER IS NOT YOUR LIFE AND NOT YOU WORLD..YOU ARE YOUR LIFE.. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN LOVE.. LOVE YOURSELF CONCENTRATE ON YOURSELF!! BE BETTER!
Happiness, which is dependant on others is only temporary. Individual happiness is the most important thing in one's life and it should come from within. This is achieved by finding your true passion - by finding something you can do completely on your own. If you have nothing to be passionate about, just try new things. Don't worry if you drop them after just a few days. Life is meant to be experience to the fullest.
Find something that you already love in life, and invest more time in it. You are an unique talented idividual with many options in life
The problem after a break-up is the fact we realize how much we've invested in the relationship and how less we've cultivated ourselves. Of course, breaking up is a huge trauma and we can compare it to the death of a loved one. This is the best chance you have to work out your emotional muscles and build up more confidence. Embrace that void and take your time to fill it up slowly, without becoming dependent on others in order to function correctly on a daily basis. Think many people don't have the chance to be still and quiet, or looking at themselves in the mirror.
You can and you will. You were doing great before your partner entered in your life, weren't you? It is easy. You just have to believe in yourself. Gather confidence that you are capable of doing it. Explore yourself and LIVE!
From one heartbreak to another, I can say that I understand what it is to feel completely shattered by the loss of a relationship. The best way to move on is to just learn how to find yourself again. Practice self care, and reconnect with friends and hobbies. Time is going to heal that broken heart- trust me.
Don't be concerned if it's that way for awhile, it doesn't mean anything is permanently wrong with you. Like feeling to a numb limb it will come back slowly with time.
Get out and find a new partner! There has to be someone. Your life has meaning - don't ever think it doesn't.
Check out brightMoon18, She is amazing at helping broken relationships. You should check her out and see if she can help you. :)
Gradually start doing things or trying something new on your own and maybe join a group or a hobby club or something. Its about discovering more about yourself and learning about yourself and self-care really.
once you do it, I promise you you'll feel different, scary at first but it's worth it, good luck .
Maybe try distracting yourself, watch your favorite films, hang out with friends, try writing about your feelings or keeping a diary? I also find writing a list of things that make me happy (even really little things like... bubbles!) and then reading through it when I'm feeling down helps :) I hope you feel better soon!
Prioritize what is most important to you in life, be thankful for the things you have instead of mourning over what you've lost.
I can very much relate to this my partner and I do everything together. I would be more involved by volunteering my time. You can do things such as volunteering at a dog shelter or being a big brother or big sister. Depending on age I know there are also grandparent volunteering where children that have no grandparents are appointed one through volunteering. You can also help people on here, I cannot tell you how many people touched my life before I decided to become a listener. As a listener now it makes me feel great to help others. I feel like they help me become a better person.
Try going back to the things you used to do before you met your partner, also try new things and meet new people, find your self again.
It's important to remember what life was like before them. It's especially useful to reconnect with people you knew from before meeting them, like friends and family members. Remembering your hobbies from before, or interests you gave up during the relationship could help you feel grounded and remember that you've survived and lived without them before, and you can do it again.
Spend time with your friends and family. Get distracted, do activities that you enjoy, try to think about some things you want to do, set a long term goal that can help you see the future you can have.
It is a rather natural feeling when one gets acclimated towards a certain person, situation, place or thing. Finding something your passionate about might be key in helping you distract yourself and get over such negative feelings.
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