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I can't stop thinking about him or her. What should I do?

109 Answers
Last Updated: 06/29/2020 at 11:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
March 5th, 2016 4:30am
I see that you once really liked him or her very much. Can you tell me a little more about him or her?
February 5th, 2016 3:51am
just if you keep him unseen in your life for 3 months , and keep yourself busy ..u will forget him I guarantee
January 20th, 2016 4:36pm
The more you try someone to get out of your mind, the more they will seem to dominate your mind. The best way is to simply accept the facts regarding him/her and yourself. Doesn't matter whether your loved is married, or a celebrity you can't reach or just someone who likes someone else, remember that love is not about stealing or being with the most beautiful/handsome person .Love is love, and since we all are going to die one day...the person whom you love will also die including their lucky partner..but what cannot and will not die will be YOUR TRUE LOVE. So either you can be sad and blame yourself for being unable to get the best guy/girl or you can live your life with the pride that you loved like a LOVE..and it the 24/7 thinking about him/her that is the biggest proof of your love for others. PS-In order to avoid being /developing obsession simply use tips from websites like WikiHow to remove your unwanted responses such as fumbling , high heart rate etc when seeing /thinking about your loved one.
February 17th, 2016 4:51pm
I suggest finding things to keep you occupied. Pick up a new hobby or spend time doing what you already like. Hang out with friends, meet new people, pamper yourself, learn something new. Do anything that occupies your time and makes you feel good. It will give you less time to think about him or her.
March 19th, 2016 3:31am
Tell him or her how you really feel. Opening up to someone is the greatest bond possible. Maybe they even feel the same :)
March 31st, 2016 6:30pm
Is it over? Is there no way to get him/her back? If not, you have to just live through the pain, as hard as that is. You have to respect the other person if they no longer want you. No one wants to hurt, but we do. It seems like the pain will never go away, and one day it does. Get involved in something to get your mind off of that person. Help someone. Write about it. Talk about it. Life goes on. People care. Find someone to listen. Try to focus on other things and other people.
January 29th, 2016 11:49am
If this person has a negative effect on your life and well being then find something that would keep you busy and you're mind off of Him/her. If this person has a positive effect on your life and well being then go to them, life's to short to hold back on the people that you love and care about.
February 28th, 2016 9:37am
Know that you are enough within yourself and that you have something better in store for you. Feel your pain and hurt and try and stay with it. You need some time to heal and recover.
April 9th, 2016 6:20am
Erase all the photos. If you feel like deleting him or her from the social medias is a must, do. Whenever is about your well-being those "it's immature to delete your ex from facebook" are non-sense. Get distracted. Do what you love to do and don't be afraid of change. Eat that ice cream you've been craving. Spend time with your love ones and never forget if he or she wasn't the one, someone much better will be
March 6th, 2016 1:06am
Talk to someone you trust for support and to listen to your feelings.Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings.Give yourself some time.
July 2nd, 2016 1:04pm
Relax, let yourself think about him/her but don't fantasize. Accept that there is a connection but don't let it controll you. Enjoy the feeling of conection woth someone even if they don't conect with you at this point in time.
February 13th, 2016 7:24pm
You should try and move on. I know it may seem like you never will, but I promise that in 10 years you won't even remember him or her.
March 11th, 2016 11:05pm
First, realize that you are grieving, and accept that, and allow yourself to grieve. All too often, we aren't patient with ourselves and give ourselves time and the right to feel our feelings because we think they make us weak, selfish, e.t.c. The proper thing to do is to know that the only thing those feelings make you is human, and that you have a right to experience them.
February 18th, 2016 8:22pm
So one technique I use is to think something about the person that turned you off. You can imagine him/her being smelly if smell is a turn off quality. I think we drawn to the person because we keep thinking about the good qualities of them, but if you have conjure up disgusting stuff about them, your mind will try to avoid it.
April 8th, 2016 4:37pm
take a walk, drink some tea, and take a warm bath with some milk in it, read a book, eat something unhealthy,
March 20th, 2016 3:52pm
Know that time heals all wounds. Reach out to your family and friends. Take care of yourself: get out of bed, shower, get dressed, take a walk outside, get enough sleep, eat right, etc. When you don't take care of yourself things can really feel intensified and worse, believe me! Know that things aren't definitive- meaning the problems you have and feel now won't be the same problems you'll be experiencing in 5 years; and that you'll find love
April 22nd, 2016 4:41pm
try to do things you like! It could be singing, dancing, writing, exercise, anything! Also try to surround yourself with people who make you happy and will make you forget about that person!
January 21st, 2016 7:14pm
The best thing to do is try and distract yourself. It's normal to think about someone you miss, but it's important to take care of yourself first. Take a long walk, take a bathe, watch some movies.
February 26th, 2016 2:19am
Go out with some friends, take your mind off him/her and enjoy your day with people that make you happy and do things that make you feel happy. For example go have a girls/guys night out, read your favorite book, dance in your room and express yourself through you dancing, or watch your favorite movie. Something that you love.
March 10th, 2016 6:36pm
It depends , are they your significant other, a crush, or just an ex that you can get over? Thinking about someone all the time isn't necessarily bad . If it's a crush and feelings are mutual just go for it . Even if it doesn't go the way you want it to at least you can say you tried :) if it's your lover , don't worry about that , it's normal :) but if it's an ex ( which is also normal too) if their still approachable just talk to them about it without directly saying it or just do things to get your mind off of it , things you wouldn't usually do that are fun :)
April 7th, 2016 7:18pm
Depending on the situation, thinking about someone is not necessarily bad. Unless it is harming you physically or emotional, allow yourself to think about this person. If it is harming you, distance yourself from this person, and then distract yourself you more positive influences.
May 8th, 2016 10:01am
Analyze the reason behind it. Once you've decided what you think it is and see that you like them (not always the case, but usually is), then tell the person you have constant thought over that you like them and see how they respond. The worst thing that could happen is rejection but don't be afraid of that because you had the bravery to tell them how you felt and that's truly amazing, something that people are afraid of. After confessing, it will make you feel better that you've told them and gotten it off of your chest.😊🙃
June 10th, 2016 9:37am
Make yourself busy follow your dreams your passion will definitely make you forget him or her.......
January 27th, 2016 9:39am
Ask yourself why, what is it about that person? Then think about what it is in you that people are attracted to.
December 5th, 2017 10:34am
Focus on a hobby, take time to yourself or spend it with friends, LAUGH.
January 29th, 2016 6:02pm
If you try to stop thinking about her or will not succeed..... What you should do...let the thought come....don't try to stop them.....slowly you will notice repeated thought s....than your mind will recognised these repeated thought easily..... Than that will b deleted....agin they came n will get deleted...... In the mean time you should try to busy some creative work....whichcan give you pleasure...this pleasure makes you happy as well as energetic to divert your thought n mind towards him or her.....than take that person very positive that you had a some nice n happy time with him or her...don't look up for more....n b happy
January 30th, 2016 4:18pm
Its okay to miss someone.But at the same time if its affecting your life, your work then it may be a concern.The best way to come out of this is to keep busy. Find some new hobbies make new friends. It can take time but it will be worth .
February 10th, 2016 4:37pm
If the thinking gets in the way of your daily activities or it upsets you, try to find an activity which could preoccupy your mind so that you will have something else to focus on. There are many hobbies to choose from. If the thinking continues, you could try talking with the person and letting them know about how you are currently feeling :)
February 18th, 2016 4:09pm
It's not always a bad thing if you can't get that special person off your mind. Love is a crazy emotion that will drive us insane, and can have us thinking about that special person at all times, even when we are trying to focus on something else. If you truly do feel this emotion, then talk to that special person, engage with them and get to know them, and maybe take that leap of faith and ask them out on a date (: Good Luck!
February 25th, 2016 4:11am
Try talking to them, tell them how you feel about whatever you're thinking about. It might be hard to do it first, but a little courage never did anyone harm. And it would get things off of your chest.