Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I can't stop thinking about him or her. What should I do?

109 Answers
Last Updated: 06/29/2020 at 11:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
February 26th, 2016 8:11am
Accept that it's natural to think about someone who has had a major impact on your life. Then, when you're ready, try to find other people who can fulfill some of the same needs your ex did.
March 9th, 2016 12:51pm
Engage yourself in something you enjoy. Like listening to music or sketching or gardening? Try to throw away all things that remind you of him like gifts he gave.
March 24th, 2016 12:03am
Get busy. Spend time with family, go out with friends, go walking/jogging. Going out in nature is great.
May 5th, 2016 7:23pm
I underwent the same experience a week ago and what helped me the most was to dive into a productive and mentally conducive hobby I love i.e. reading. Alternately, I also linked the subject to a different subject and would try to immediately switch topics when the former crossed my mind.
May 19th, 2016 7:57am
Tell him or her how you feel because then all this emotions will build up inside you, The worst thing that could happen is you them not liking you back.
June 11th, 2016 4:56am
Like rechargable batteries take yourself out of the source of your stress and take some time off for yourself and recharge yourself to become become a better person for you and those that matter to you that bring out the best in you.
June 15th, 2016 5:59am
Try focusing on a fun activity that can keep you busy. Coloring can help you keep you calm and exercising is good for body.
June 29th, 2016 10:31pm
Just try to stay busy. The busier you are during the day, the less time you have to think about someone
June 30th, 2016 6:09pm
It's hard letting go sometimes, but that's ok. Let those emotions come, but make sure you let them go. Try to think of them as waves and let them wash over you knowing that they will eventually recede. When they pass try to focus on the positives in your life, try to create goals that help you achieve things you are happy about and things you look forward to. Surround yourself with positive people who encourage you and try to remember that you will have days when you slip up but that is ok the more you fight to move past these feelings the happier you're going to become.
July 8th, 2016 6:38pm
It's difficult, I know. But I promise that at some point it will end! You just need to push through it. Do what makes you happy, discover and do new things. It will help you to know who you are without that person.
July 10th, 2016 3:51pm
I believe that when you can't stop thinking about that special someone (him/ her), it's because you care about them so very much, and it is difficult to stop thinking about them. I believe what one needs is a form of distraction, and that can be done in so many ways. However, the best way would really be to go out and meet new people. Take up a new hobby, join a volunteer group, etc. Trust me, you will be so surprised at the kinds of people you meet- amazing people with shared interests. The things you learn from them will be so amazing, and slowly but surely, you will stop thinking about your ex, and instead move on and find fulfillment in other enriching activities.
July 26th, 2016 4:54pm
I wouldn't actually stop myself from thinking about someone. I would just let the thoughts flow in my mind. One fine day you'll move on treasuring those thoughts as memories.
October 4th, 2016 11:08pm
The first thing to remember is to first and foremost be gentle with yourself. I do not know know if this is a relationship or infatuation but it sounds as if the answers sought are to move onwards. So think ahead, next year, 5 years or a whole lifetime and imagine how you will not think of these feelings across your entire amazing life
November 14th, 2016 1:52am
If you know this person feels the same about you, tell them how you feel and why you feel that way :)
January 13th, 2016 11:12pm
I think of someone sometimes and it bugs me but I know that they are doing alright. Try and do thing to distract yourself to get you mind off of them but the memories will never go away.
January 14th, 2016 3:37pm
ASk her out dont leave it too long or she might no longer like you if she does in the first place if not then move on she wasnt the one
January 16th, 2016 8:26pm
If it's a crush, be open about your feelings. You never know what might happen! If it's after a break up, cleanse yourself completely of them and let yourself get over them
January 17th, 2016 12:14am
tell them how you feel this in my experience helps extremely well as if id never liked them at all almost
January 25th, 2016 7:06pm
Don't avoid your feelings and face the facts. Love isn't just going to go away by itself, the best way to deal with it would be to face it and not to avoid it. You can't really stop yourself from thinking about him/her. Even if you distract yourself, you are still subconsciously thinking about him/her. If this person is someone that you have a crush on, you should tell them about how you feel and as them out. If this person is your boyfriend/girlfriend, open up to them and tell them about what you are feeling. if this is the situation after a breakup, try to cleanse yourself of everything that has to do with them. This will help you stop thinking about them because there will be less reminders of him/her.
January 28th, 2016 4:09am
Distract yourself. Do what you love or try something new. Go on an adventure, solo or with friends. Just keep yourself busy and have fun :)
January 29th, 2016 12:26am
First time i couldn't too like you but find something to be busy on and later you forget everything you had because new memories old things who needs to erase
January 31st, 2016 10:01am
well, you should probably ask yourself first, do you really like him/her or not. if you do really like him/her, you should go and try your best at approaching her, but not too fast, just take it slow
February 4th, 2016 3:24am
Ask yourself what causes you to think about them so frequently, write it down, reflect, then ask yourself what will allow you to cope better? Maybe reaching out to him or her if possible. If not maybe just explaning you emotions verbally to someone could help.
February 5th, 2016 12:50am
distract yourself! ride a bike, run a mile, play some music. if you really can't stop, talk to someone about it.
February 5th, 2016 9:34pm
go out, try different things that would usually get your mind off of them, try to have a lot of fun.
February 6th, 2016 2:02pm
Keep your mind busy to avoid thinking about him, the best on your abilities. It will take time,however. Give it time
February 14th, 2016 9:58pm
Distance yourself, if you know there's no future you should get your mind out of it. As long as you wait, as much it'll hurt. Or if there is hope you should go and tell them because else you will always be stuck in the "what if they felt the same way" zone. Do what your brain says, do not follow your heart in this matter.
February 15th, 2016 9:34am
The easiest and practical thing to do is tell this person how you feel about the person.. talk to that person
February 18th, 2016 2:20am
Well if this her/him is some1 that you think you can't be friends with or you can't have any relationship with then its better for you to let go and move forward. But if there is a chance then maybe you should try building a friendship at least with this person.
February 18th, 2016 7:00am
Do something that'll get them off your mind. It's okay to have someone on your mind all the time but sometimes you need to let go of thinking about them and do something that'll keep your mind occupied other than them.