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I can't stop thinking about my ex. What should I do?

86 Answers
Last Updated: 06/26/2018 at 2:35am
I can't stop thinking about my ex. What should I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Maria Wasielewski, Master of Arts in Counseling, University of Arizona

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am inspired when working with clients, who are facing challenging life experiences, to be able to help them to develop the needed skills to live their best possible life!

Top Rated Answers
March 9th, 2016 11:46am
Try to distract yourself, start working on your hobbies or hang out with your friends if you'd like.
March 26th, 2016 12:41am
Be honest with yourself. No one is asking you to delete him for good from your life. But keep in mind the reason why you two broke up and think about what makes you happy. Is he making you happy? Is he making you sad? You're holding the answer.
April 8th, 2016 3:14am
Sometimes when you can't think about someone, it's best to give it some thoughts. Reflect on your relationship and get some closure before moving on completely. Afterwards, you can then concentrate on yourself. Go hang out and focus on other aspects of your life - family/friends/pet - you'll be surprised by how much you've missed. Find yourself and remember that someone else will come along and make you much more happy than he could ever do.
July 18th, 2017 7:44am
Firstly, take a deep breath! Try meditation or find another activity that calms you down or is soothing to you. Exercise is a good way to boost your mood. It releases mood enhancing chemicals in your brain. It doesn't have to be strenuous. Even a walk around the block triggers these chemicals.
January 14th, 2016 7:19pm
Based on personal experiences, keep yourself busy! hang out with friends, family, play games, etc. depending on the reason for the break up you could also try talking to him about it. Atleast you'd have the peace of mind to know you tried. Keep yourself safe and dont try to go into a relationship if it was unhealthy before. Put yourself first!!!
January 15th, 2016 3:06pm
It always helped me to ask myself why I think of them- has it really to do with them or is it something I projected on them or even something I missed about myself how I was when I was with them. Don't try to fight the thoughts, they are okay and are there for a reason. For me, accepting those thoughts, but not chasing them helped me a lot.
January 23rd, 2016 11:22pm
Start thinking about something else other than them. I know it may seem hard but that would be the first step.
January 28th, 2016 7:18pm
Well, we all have a past to be more precise 'a bad past' and it wasn't that bad when we were living those days. Back then it was something we wanted and never thought we would hate it so much in future that we want it to remove from our hearts and brains, yes we never we would want to forget it. That's why its hard to forget out past. And to really forget it you need to make new memories new happy moments, try to accept what happened in past, try to convince yourself that past is gone and you can not do anything about it, all you can do is to move forward, give your life a new turn and live it to the fullest. Like is too short to think about ex boyfriend/girlfriend. They are your ex for a reason and keep the reason in mind and accept it. Good luck :)
February 18th, 2016 12:04am
He is your ex for a reason. You should sit down and tell yourself why it didn't work out. This will refresh your memory about you two not being together anymore.
February 18th, 2016 9:21pm
Personally for me, I try to get a rebound to help me forget and invest into something you're passionate about.
February 21st, 2016 10:10am
Divert your attention elsewhere. Try to busy yourself, learn new things, have fun with your friends. Just... enjoy life and forget him. Don't be idle. If he ever comes to your mind, find something to do just so he won't bother your mind again.
February 24th, 2016 6:27am
It takes time. It is hard and it hurts. But it will happen eventually. And everything will make sense. You will stop thinking about your ex eventually. These things don't happen over night. But it will happen. Just try to think about other stuff.
February 24th, 2016 3:52pm
Time will eventually help you do it.. But until then.. Have a job, do some workouts, meditate, play some yoga,.. All I am saying is that you should move on with doing things you love.
February 26th, 2016 8:07am
Acknowledge that your ex was a part of your life, try to accept that and start making memories that don't involve that person. You are strong enough on your own.
February 27th, 2016 3:42am
Have you tried writing down what makes you not think about him? If no, do you think it might be something that could help you seing there are times when you can actually stop thinking about him/her?
February 28th, 2016 4:11pm
Remember life can go on! Go out and enjoy the simple pleasures that you normally enjoy. The sooner you remind yourself of other possibilities the less painful it will be. Usually it takes 3 months for the break up edge to ease away.
February 28th, 2016 6:53pm
What I did to stop thinking about my first boyfriend was: I went to a TON of college events, parties, night clubs and raves, I eventually started going on dates again (nothing serious with any of them at first), to get over my break up and time helped a lot. It doesn't even hurt to think about him anymore.
February 28th, 2016 9:15pm
Start thinking about you and what makes you happy. What is it that makes you, you? Commit time to your own self development and you will be able overcome anything.
February 28th, 2016 11:07pm
I do this all the time!! I think the best thing to do is just distract yourself when you feel like you're thinking about them. But then again, the harder you try to not think of them, the easier it is to remember them.
February 28th, 2016 11:37pm
You should do somethings every day to stop thinking about him/her. I request going out once in a while so, that way you forget about them.
March 3rd, 2016 5:26am
Thinking about ex's is completely normal, it's part of the breakup process. One of the things that I like to do is to get a new hobby, something that doesn't remind me of them at all. Enough to distract me so that I get over them enough to begin thinking about the breakup in a more positive light, that way I can take things away from it and learn.
March 3rd, 2016 3:46pm
Sometimes trying out new hobbies can get your mind off of unnecessary things. also going for a run can help clear your head.
March 3rd, 2016 7:56pm
Try to engage in some activity, hang out with friends, focus on a good book... Anything that makes you feel better.
March 5th, 2016 12:41pm
Try keep yourself occupied, talk to other people and enjoy life! Realise you dont need them to be happy as your life doesnt revolve around them
March 6th, 2016 1:11am
Try writing a diary, keep track of how you feel and get it off of your chest. If you feel comfortable, you can talk to him/her as a friend.
March 6th, 2016 8:05am
The most important thing to remember is that learning how to stop thinking about your ex is a habit that you CAN break. It takes energy and dedication at first, but you can stop the obsessive thoughts about the person you broke up with. Another important thing to remember when you’re trying to stop thinking about the breakup is that you’re not alone – other people have broken their addictions to their ex’s, and so can you.
March 11th, 2016 5:40pm
He's an ex for a reason, right? It's going to hurt but always remember, when one door closes, a lots of them opens.
March 12th, 2016 10:17am
Personally when I couldn't stop thinking about an ex I would take it off my mind by occupying myself my friends were really good at this time!!
March 12th, 2016 8:36pm
Write a journal with your feelings and thoughts. Or, if you're unable to do that, talk to someone about it.
March 13th, 2016 5:09am
Thinking about your ex isn't a bad thing , unless it's controlling your life and making you miserable. Go through the thought process of what you liked about your ex , what you didn't like, try to be as objective as possible. Reach into your feelings , go through the emotions and don't listen to other peoples opinions unless it's an extreme abusive relationship,come to terms with why he is your ex. Then forgive and move on with your own pursuit of existentialist life , the future will be much brighter than dwelling and getting upset constantly.