I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 07/17/2019 at 3:49pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
July 22nd, 2017 6:48am
Every song ends, but can that be a reason not fall in love with music? Breakups are difficult and not easy to happen. And if it happens , it does for a reason. If you think the reason is strong enough then you should stop regretting and keep your self as busy as you can. Do some charity, help people, spread love. That will make you happy. And eventually you will find someone to fall in love with.
August 16th, 2017 6:46pm
First I would take a step back and go over the reasons you are feeling this regret. What are the things you are regretting? Are you missing and regretting for the right reasons or is it more of a loneliness and the missing the companionship?? Also, try to remember the reasons for the break up in the first place. IF you can come to the conclusion that you are truly missing your ex and you feel like maybe breaking up was in haste, perhaps you should try contacting your ex to see how they are feeling about the break up? Be prepared though, a break up is hurtful and they might not be receptive to the thought of reconciling. You may be faced with the harsh realization that the relationship is over. However, they might be missing you too. If you feel like the break up was not in the best interest of you both, then reach out and give it a shot.
August 19th, 2017 5:58am
Talk it out with your ex and see what they think as well. If they want to get back together, see what happens from there.
September 2nd, 2017 11:47am
You should talk to them about it, explain to them that you regret what happened, you never know what they might say. They could be feeling the same but if they'd rather move on then surround yourself with friends and family, treat yourself and do things you enjoy to take your mind off the situation. Give yourself time to move on, it won't happen over night.
September 24th, 2017 1:27pm
Well, first you really need to sit down and think about the breakup; I mean, was there a huge dealbreaker that made the breakup inevitable? If you think the relationship has scope for working out, reach out to them and talk things out. Hope for the best
November 11th, 2017 9:45pm
maybe speak to the person. Tell them how you are feeling and be honest. Try to show them empathy. Imagine if that person broke up with you, how would you feel and how could that person resolve it with you or how would you like that person to approach you. Also, it is good to respect that person's space.
January 31st, 2018 8:20pm
well it's a tough one. Regret is often short lived, so ride it out until you're sure it's a mistake. We often make decisions and regret them, but they are often for the best. Give yourself some time to get over the feeling and see then how you feel. You broke up for a reason.. remember that.
March 3rd, 2018 6:56am
Well talking about past relationships people learn a lot from them. For each one relationship values differ. I guess somewhere your heart has realised that your ex is still your present and the way he/she behaved in the past n still the way they behaving like a gentleman / good girl like no hurt feelings or text messages, you are ready to look for him/her. You can think of trying to communicate with him her by a simple text message n later asking for a short meeting.
March 30th, 2018 6:47pm
That is something you must accept and take responsibility for the choice you made. Even if you regret it.
March 31st, 2018 5:05pm
Do you really regret it or because you feel lonely right now and can’t adapt with the sudden change from being in relationship to be single? You are the only one who know the answer. If you really regret it because she/he is a wonderful person and you just realize it now, try to get them back. But if it’s too late, you need to move on
August 24th, 2018 10:13pm
I'm sorry you feel regretful, it's hard sometimes to let someone go who you've been so close with. I too regret my choices sometimes, and thats normal. Completely normal. Life goes on and you have to remember that you broke up with your ex for a reason and that you shouldn't go back to what made you unhappy. One person shouldn't be able to make you feel uncomfortable and unhappy even when you aren't with them any longer. Everyone deserves the best for themselves and the people around them. And you honestly were being very good with self-care by cutting out a toxic relationship. I'm proud of you
February 2nd, 2019 11:59pm
When regret is felt over any situation, especially over a breakup, it is sometimes helpful to analyze your feelings before and after it happened. How did you truly feel before the breakup? What decisions led to the breakup and why were those decisions made? And after it happened, are you discounting the positive outcomes of the breakup? What thoughts, habits, or activities can you do in your own life to turn the breakup into a positive milestone for your future? What positive activities can you divert your attention to in order to let time pass productively and heal your wounds?
July 2nd, 2016 4:29pm
I think you should evaluate why did you break up and if the person is worth trying again. Why do you care about that person? Does that person makes you a better you?
July 9th, 2016 12:19pm
Try to talk to your ex to see if ya'll can move on and try to explain why you did it in the first place.
July 23rd, 2016 1:22pm
Reconsidering the reasons you had for the break-up in the first place would make a good first step. If you really feel they weren't valid and that you were wrong or acting impulsively than I guess all you can do is sit that person down and honestly tell them how you feel. There's still not much we can do if the other person decides not to give us a second chance..
July 27th, 2016 1:16am
Write a list of pros and cons of breaking up with them, do the same for them as a person, and the relationship as a whole. Sometimes people regret things we shouldn't - you ended the relationship for a reason and you may be forgetting why. If not, figure out exactly what to say and then approach them gently, telling them you expect nothing in return but wanted to get this off of your chest.
July 28th, 2016 6:36pm
Think about why you broke up with this person. If it was for a reason you don't believe was worth the falling out, you can talk to them and discuss what went wrong in your relationship, and see if you could try the relationship again. If they disagree, it's okay to feel upset, but you should know that it's normal. If they agree, be sure to go over what should change in the relationship so a problem like this can be successfully avoided.
July 31st, 2016 1:49am
The first step would be self reflection on why you broke up with them to begin with, and determine if it's the route you really want to take. If you still want them back. Then you'll have to apologize and attempt to make things right if they give you the chance.
July 31st, 2016 3:26am
Talk it out. It's okay to reach out and talk about your feelings. First, recall your reasons for breaking up in the first place. Avoid any situations which make you feel badly. Remember, you left for a reason. If you cannot come to terms with it still, ask them to meet up and talk.
August 3rd, 2016 5:02am
Think about why you guys broke up and if the reason is still there. If you still want to give it another go then organise a time to meet up and maybe bring it up over a cup of coffee.
August 3rd, 2016 7:27am
Is he/she already seeing someone? If yes, then just accept it and move on. If no, then try talking to him/her about what you feel.
August 5th, 2016 6:50pm
You should talk to your ex see if he still feels the same about you even if you do you regret it it may have been the right thing to do
August 6th, 2016 7:29am
Have a nice quiet alone time with yourself. Make sure you want to take the venture out to going back to your ex, because you broke up for a reason. See if the reason was a valid one in your book and if you still feel it was a mistake; then by all means take a time to have a face to face discussion with your ex and see where that leaves the two of you.
August 10th, 2016 3:46am
Think about what you want. Think about why you're missing them. Is it because you're lonely, or because you genuinely want them back in your life?
August 10th, 2016 5:52am
Talk to them. Explain what happened, how you felt afterwards and why you regret breaking up with them, why you want to be together with them again
August 21st, 2016 8:35pm
The most important thing after a breakup is to give the other person some time and space to think. You should use this time wisely too, find an alternative distraction and find something creative to do to turn any negative thoughts you may be having into positive ones. After that, writing down how you feel is a good start, and then you can be completely honest about how you feel with your ex, tell them how you're feeling once you have given them the time and space you need, they might not want to get back together, but don't let that deter you, a good friendship is the best possible thing that can come out of a situation like this :D
August 23rd, 2016 12:52am
Ask yourself if you really miss him as a person, or you just miss the relationship, having someone, os having something stable.
August 24th, 2016 3:28am
I feel as thought you should try talking to your ex, if that doesn't work. Try to refrain from contact of wanting to get in a relationship and just stay friends, and see where it goes from there.
August 26th, 2016 10:17am
That will be determined by led to the break up, if it is something fixable that you overacted on without being rational then you can request to meet with him and apologize and see if he is still available for and willing to fix things . If he has moved on already then learn from the mistake and make sure that you do not repeat it in the next relationship
August 27th, 2016 6:10am
Perhaps identify why you broke up with him in the first place? And ask yourself why you regret this decision now?