I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

168 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2019 at 3:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
July 2nd, 2016 4:29pm
I think you should evaluate why did you break up and if the person is worth trying again. Why do you care about that person? Does that person makes you a better you?
July 9th, 2016 12:19pm
Try to talk to your ex to see if ya'll can move on and try to explain why you did it in the first place.
July 17th, 2016 11:05pm
Memories of an ex are really a very powerful emotion. They are usually negative in nature, and the terms or the reasons of breakups usually define the action to be taken. Accept your mistakes, ascertain your ex's mistakes, and learn from them. You may even feel motivated from it later onwards, just like I do. I went ahead to enjoy more, while getting rid of most of my addictions and grumpy behavior. What's lost can't be reclaimed, and that person wasn't meant for ya.
July 23rd, 2016 1:22pm
Reconsidering the reasons you had for the break-up in the first place would make a good first step. If you really feel they weren't valid and that you were wrong or acting impulsively than I guess all you can do is sit that person down and honestly tell them how you feel. There's still not much we can do if the other person decides not to give us a second chance..
July 27th, 2016 1:16am
Write a list of pros and cons of breaking up with them, do the same for them as a person, and the relationship as a whole. Sometimes people regret things we shouldn't - you ended the relationship for a reason and you may be forgetting why. If not, figure out exactly what to say and then approach them gently, telling them you expect nothing in return but wanted to get this off of your chest.
July 28th, 2016 6:36pm
Think about why you broke up with this person. If it was for a reason you don't believe was worth the falling out, you can talk to them and discuss what went wrong in your relationship, and see if you could try the relationship again. If they disagree, it's okay to feel upset, but you should know that it's normal. If they agree, be sure to go over what should change in the relationship so a problem like this can be successfully avoided.
July 31st, 2016 1:49am
The first step would be self reflection on why you broke up with them to begin with, and determine if it's the route you really want to take. If you still want them back. Then you'll have to apologize and attempt to make things right if they give you the chance.
July 31st, 2016 3:26am
Talk it out. It's okay to reach out and talk about your feelings. First, recall your reasons for breaking up in the first place. Avoid any situations which make you feel badly. Remember, you left for a reason. If you cannot come to terms with it still, ask them to meet up and talk.
August 3rd, 2016 12:30am
Tell them. The worst that can happen is they don't feel the same, but you remain being friends (or in an extremely worst case scenario, they stop talking to you altogether), but the best case scenario is that they also regret breaking up and want to give your relationship another go. Telling them you want to get back together, even if it doesn't bring the desired result, will make you feel a lot better than keeping it to yourself and living your life wondering 'what if?".
August 3rd, 2016 5:02am
Think about why you guys broke up and if the reason is still there. If you still want to give it another go then organise a time to meet up and maybe bring it up over a cup of coffee.
August 3rd, 2016 7:27am
Is he/she already seeing someone? If yes, then just accept it and move on. If no, then try talking to him/her about what you feel.
August 5th, 2016 6:50pm
You should talk to your ex see if he still feels the same about you even if you do you regret it it may have been the right thing to do
August 6th, 2016 7:29am
Have a nice quiet alone time with yourself. Make sure you want to take the venture out to going back to your ex, because you broke up for a reason. See if the reason was a valid one in your book and if you still feel it was a mistake; then by all means take a time to have a face to face discussion with your ex and see where that leaves the two of you.
August 10th, 2016 3:46am
Think about what you want. Think about why you're missing them. Is it because you're lonely, or because you genuinely want them back in your life?
August 10th, 2016 5:52am
Talk to them. Explain what happened, how you felt afterwards and why you regret breaking up with them, why you want to be together with them again
August 21st, 2016 8:35pm
The most important thing after a breakup is to give the other person some time and space to think. You should use this time wisely too, find an alternative distraction and find something creative to do to turn any negative thoughts you may be having into positive ones. After that, writing down how you feel is a good start, and then you can be completely honest about how you feel with your ex, tell them how you're feeling once you have given them the time and space you need, they might not want to get back together, but don't let that deter you, a good friendship is the best possible thing that can come out of a situation like this :D
August 23rd, 2016 12:52am
Ask yourself if you really miss him as a person, or you just miss the relationship, having someone, os having something stable.
August 24th, 2016 3:28am
I feel as thought you should try talking to your ex, if that doesn't work. Try to refrain from contact of wanting to get in a relationship and just stay friends, and see where it goes from there.
August 26th, 2016 10:17am
That will be determined by led to the break up, if it is something fixable that you overacted on without being rational then you can request to meet with him and apologize and see if he is still available for and willing to fix things . If he has moved on already then learn from the mistake and make sure that you do not repeat it in the next relationship
August 27th, 2016 6:10am
Perhaps identify why you broke up with him in the first place? And ask yourself why you regret this decision now?
September 8th, 2016 5:35am
Remember why you broke up with your ex and consider if every reason still applies. Consider why you regret the breakup now--are you just lonely? Do you miss them as they are now, or the person they used to be? Remember that life and experiences change people, and your ex is not the same person they were when you first started dating.
October 22nd, 2016 5:53pm
There are a lot of variables to account for. Ask yourself appropriate questions that you need to answer to. Why did you break up with your ex? What is holding me back from moving on? Was being with my ex making me unhappy with who I was when I was with him? My advice is to not rush into getting back with your ex, but to take time thinking about your well-being and whether your reasons for regretting breaking up is due to loneliness or something else.
October 23rd, 2016 2:05pm
Think about why you break up with him/her in the first place. If it is a good reason like he cheAted on you, don't go back to him and move on
November 3rd, 2016 1:44pm
Firstly, never regret anything you do in your life, never. All what happens to you is either good or it teaches you something, it is never a real loss, even when you don't see it but you always gain something or learn something. Second thing, if you really feel that you want to be with your ex then figure out first what is the real reason you broke up and think about it and after that find out if your ex feels the same way, if it all fits then just have a talk.
November 11th, 2016 6:07pm
Re-think the situation, have you tried your best? if you have then there isnt anything else you can do knowing that you did your best to save your relationship.
December 8th, 2016 5:53pm
Take some time to really examine what you are feeling, and what it is exactly that you regret. Is it the person in particular? or is it the comfort and growth from having a specific person in your life that you miss? Also, take some time to think about why the break up happened. What wasn't working? why was breaking up a better option at the time than working on it together? Knowing some of the answers to these things can help you decide how to go forward. But keep in mind, break ups are hard on both sides. The other person will need to answer these things for themselves, too, and a conversation where both parties listen actively and patiently to the other will have to happen to see what steps my be possible next.
February 5th, 2017 5:37am
Give yourself adequate time to heal. Ask yourself why you chose to end the relationship. Where there legitimate concerns about both physical and mental safety that led you to make this decision? Ask yourself why you want this partner back in your life. Make sure they are healthy reasons and not simply because you are lonely. If you decide to attempt reconciliation, apologize and ask for another chance; however, you also need to be prepared to be rebuffed. Your ex may be hurting or simply may be unwilling to try the relationship again. If either of these cases prove true, you'll need to allow adequate time for your ex to heal and for your own healing to take place.
February 19th, 2017 8:10pm
We are all human beings and it's pretty normal for each of us to regret and make wrong decisions so if you are really sure about your feelings and know that you won't hurt either of you, try to contact your ex and explain yourself to him/her clearly. He/she won't make it a problem if it wasn't a very very very bad breakup. It's best to make a step rather than regretting all your life.
March 11th, 2017 9:37pm
Ending a relationship is hard, whether it was your decision or the other person’s decision. You may be dealing with painful emotions and want to deal with those feelings as quickly as possible. There are several ways that you can work through your painful emotions and start to move on, such as writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and being cautious about rebound relationships. Keep in mind that getting over a breakup takes time and patience. If things don’t seem to get better with time, remember that you can always turn to friends, family, or even a mental health professional for support.
March 15th, 2017 11:57am
Think about why you broke up with him. Ask yourself if you are better now or before. Still love him?