I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

168 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2019 at 3:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
SunshineOtter333
April 26th, 2017 5:03am
If you truly regret it and want to get back together, let them know. It's always worth a shot, even if they don't accept you back. If you truly want to get back together, let rhem know that you regret it. At least that would appreiciate that.
Lya
April 27th, 2017 9:05pm
Really reflect on the relationship. Was the break-up valid? What would the two of you have to do differently to move forward? Is this the person you genuinely want to be with for a while? If you really want the relationship talk to your ex about it and see if it's salvageable. If it's not, you'll still be okay.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2017 8:40am
Maybe you should talk to him/her, see how he's/she's doing and maybe he'll/she'll give you an indication to whether he/she still likes you and if he/she does you can make your move.
hungrytohelp
May 24th, 2017 8:43pm
Talk to them. Tell them how you feel and it might not be too late. If you don't talk to them you may end up feeling eternal regret so you should just confront them with your feelings. Don't overthink what you say but be considerate of their emotions.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2017 9:34pm
Call him/her and say how you feel discuss why you did what you did.Then try to solve the issue and if it gets solves a to get back together.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 4:21pm
What makes you regret it? Maybe you can try to remember all of the things that happened and try to figure out the reasons why you broke up. If you feel like he/she might still want to talk, you can try talking to them about this.
DaughterofChrist
June 29th, 2017 2:32am
Be honest. Talk to them about how you are feeling, but don't forget about the reason you broke up in the first place.
MeetVirginia
July 16th, 2017 4:32pm
Sometimes identifying the reasons you broke up, writing them down and seeing a clear picture of why the relationship ended can be a great place to start. I like to write down some things I can identify with triggering those feelings of regret. I then take each one individually and assigning it to a pro or cons category. Beyond that deciding whether the relationship can be repaired or if you still interested in pursuing it. I have had it work both ways for me. Try this when you feel you are in a calm state. I definitely find it difficult to make decisions when I am upset. 7cups is a community of compassionate listeners and sometime just expressing those to someone who will listen without bias can be very helpful as well. Best of Luck. Feel free to reach out again!
heavenYellow54
July 22nd, 2017 6:48am
Every song ends, but can that be a reason not fall in love with music? Breakups are difficult and not easy to happen. And if it happens , it does for a reason. If you think the reason is strong enough then you should stop regretting and keep your self as busy as you can. Do some charity, help people, spread love. That will make you happy. And eventually you will find someone to fall in love with.
AnnickaJean
August 16th, 2017 6:46pm
First I would take a step back and go over the reasons you are feeling this regret. What are the things you are regretting? Are you missing and regretting for the right reasons or is it more of a loneliness and the missing the companionship?? Also, try to remember the reasons for the break up in the first place. IF you can come to the conclusion that you are truly missing your ex and you feel like maybe breaking up was in haste, perhaps you should try contacting your ex to see how they are feeling about the break up? Be prepared though, a break up is hurtful and they might not be receptive to the thought of reconciling. You may be faced with the harsh realization that the relationship is over. However, they might be missing you too. If you feel like the break up was not in the best interest of you both, then reach out and give it a shot.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2017 6:56am
Tell your ex how you feel and maybe you can get a second chance. If not then it just means they aren't the one so keep looking.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2017 11:47am
You should talk to them about it, explain to them that you regret what happened, you never know what they might say. They could be feeling the same but if they'd rather move on then surround yourself with friends and family, treat yourself and do things you enjoy to take your mind off the situation. Give yourself time to move on, it won't happen over night.
allnaturalUnicorns70
November 21st, 2017 4:27pm
First consider you ex's feelings. Will he/she appreciate you reaching out? If not, trying to move on makes sense. If yes, maybe explain why you ended it and ask for consideration in restarting things?
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 6:48pm
The most logical thing that you could do is simply talk to your ex. Maybe they feel the same way, you never know.
Egowanderer26
December 6th, 2017 12:09am
Alot of people may experience a sense of regret after having made a decision to break up. Feeling alone is the a difficult process when you are used to having someone by your side. I would recommend reevaluating your reasons to why you broke up. Revisit all your emotions from what lead to the break up. Do the reason/s have importance to you still? Sometimes loneliness can mask our true feelings. Trusting your intuition will never take you where you weren't meant to be.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 3:17pm
Take time to process the way you are feeling. Consider it from all angles as this will help you to realise every aspect of your decision and think about all of the impacts it will have, both positive and negative. This isn’t about weighing up the pros and cons of separating, it’s about taking into account what is going to be beneficial to you and your ex in the long run. If you are still in the initial stages of a breakup, these thoughts are totally normal and everybody experiences them whether they initiated the breakup or not. It is simply our brains natural reaction to major change, allow this to pass before jumping to any conclusions.
Ariel1115
December 10th, 2017 8:41pm
I think it is best to think of why you broke up in the first place. Sometimes we regret, because the fear of loneliness gets to us, but we could also let some good ones go. This is why sometimes it is best to just think of what is best for YOU!
Anonymous
January 9th, 2018 9:43pm
Be honest with yourself & your ex. First think long and hard why you are regretting breaking up with your ex- is it because you are now lonely or were not prepared to be alone? If you genuinely have feelings for your ex, be honest about how you feel & prepare yourself because your ex might have already let go and moved on.
StepOneListen
January 12th, 2018 9:42pm
This question is such a difficult one. Depending on how it ended there are a few things you could try. Being open and honest with yourself is a start, and with your ex as well. I don't know if getting back with your ex is something that is possible or even healthy. However, what I do know is that you have this feeling of regret that is brought up with this. And start by dealing with that first, and look for answers later. I hope that you are able to get yourself to a healthy and acceptable place.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 7:41am
I think that the first thing that you should do is to express your feelings towards your ex with them. You know yourself best and if you still have feelings you should take the path that you feel you need to.
xxabbey
January 25th, 2018 9:06pm
if you regret breaking up with her ex then talk to him or her about it and see if yall can get back together
Easylistener
January 31st, 2018 8:20pm
well it's a tough one. Regret is often short lived, so ride it out until you're sure it's a mistake. We often make decisions and regret them, but they are often for the best. Give yourself some time to get over the feeling and see then how you feel. You broke up for a reason.. remember that.
WallflowersandRoses
February 3rd, 2018 1:33am
Think about why you broke up in the first place. Does that reason still seem valid? If not, then try to patch things up with them. Life is too short to live with regrets.
Ashley132
February 4th, 2018 3:05pm
Confront them and explain you made a mistake, if it doesn’t go to plan its time to start fresh again
BukiDuki
February 7th, 2018 1:08am
Try and talk it out with them. Start a conversation and talk about what happened, and let them know how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.
HoneyBee92
February 7th, 2018 1:00pm
Take some time to understand why the relationship didn’t work out, and then talk to your ex face to face
starryPanda93
February 8th, 2018 3:23pm
just thing that everything happens for a good reason..still if you miss him or her ..then be friends wid them.
ArjunAttam
February 8th, 2018 6:37pm
We all do things we regret later. Talk to your ex and if he also wants to patch-up, nothing better than that. But if your ex has already moved on, you should not feel so bad. You are really a great person to understand your mistake and know what you want. You will also find someone who is best for you.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2018 11:48pm
Reflect on why you feel you regret breaking up with your ex and why you broke up with them in the first place. Once you do that if you still feel you regret your decision ask them if they’d be willing to sit down and talk with you about how you’re feeling.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 11:29am
There's always a reason why you break up with someone, sometimes we fail to remember cause they aren't in our life anymore. Ask yourself why you want him or her back?