I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 07/17/2019 at 3:49pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
CharlieMorningstar
September 8th, 2016 5:35am
Remember why you broke up with your ex and consider if every reason still applies. Consider why you regret the breakup now--are you just lonely? Do you miss them as they are now, or the person they used to be? Remember that life and experiences change people, and your ex is not the same person they were when you first started dating.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2016 2:05pm
Think about why you break up with him/her in the first place. If it is a good reason like he cheAted on you, don't go back to him and move on
MessengerOfPeace01
November 3rd, 2016 1:44pm
Firstly, never regret anything you do in your life, never. All what happens to you is either good or it teaches you something, it is never a real loss, even when you don't see it but you always gain something or learn something. Second thing, if you really feel that you want to be with your ex then figure out first what is the real reason you broke up and think about it and after that find out if your ex feels the same way, if it all fits then just have a talk.
tooviolent4u
November 11th, 2016 6:07pm
Re-think the situation, have you tried your best? if you have then there isnt anything else you can do knowing that you did your best to save your relationship.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2016 5:53pm
Take some time to really examine what you are feeling, and what it is exactly that you regret. Is it the person in particular? or is it the comfort and growth from having a specific person in your life that you miss? Also, take some time to think about why the break up happened. What wasn't working? why was breaking up a better option at the time than working on it together? Knowing some of the answers to these things can help you decide how to go forward. But keep in mind, break ups are hard on both sides. The other person will need to answer these things for themselves, too, and a conversation where both parties listen actively and patiently to the other will have to happen to see what steps my be possible next.
HeartofaPhoenix
February 5th, 2017 5:37am
Give yourself adequate time to heal. Ask yourself why you chose to end the relationship. Where there legitimate concerns about both physical and mental safety that led you to make this decision? Ask yourself why you want this partner back in your life. Make sure they are healthy reasons and not simply because you are lonely. If you decide to attempt reconciliation, apologize and ask for another chance; however, you also need to be prepared to be rebuffed. Your ex may be hurting or simply may be unwilling to try the relationship again. If either of these cases prove true, you'll need to allow adequate time for your ex to heal and for your own healing to take place.
Glorethen22
February 19th, 2017 8:10pm
We are all human beings and it's pretty normal for each of us to regret and make wrong decisions so if you are really sure about your feelings and know that you won't hurt either of you, try to contact your ex and explain yourself to him/her clearly. He/she won't make it a problem if it wasn't a very very very bad breakup. It's best to make a step rather than regretting all your life.
beunstoppable07
March 15th, 2017 11:57am
Think about why you broke up with him. Ask yourself if you are better now or before. Still love him?
SunshineOtter333
April 26th, 2017 5:03am
If you truly regret it and want to get back together, let them know. It's always worth a shot, even if they don't accept you back. If you truly want to get back together, let rhem know that you regret it. At least that would appreiciate that.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2017 8:40am
Maybe you should talk to him/her, see how he's/she's doing and maybe he'll/she'll give you an indication to whether he/she still likes you and if he/she does you can make your move.
hungrytohelp
May 24th, 2017 8:43pm
Talk to them. Tell them how you feel and it might not be too late. If you don't talk to them you may end up feeling eternal regret so you should just confront them with your feelings. Don't overthink what you say but be considerate of their emotions.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2017 9:34pm
Call him/her and say how you feel discuss why you did what you did.Then try to solve the issue and if it gets solves a to get back together.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2017 4:21pm
What makes you regret it? Maybe you can try to remember all of the things that happened and try to figure out the reasons why you broke up. If you feel like he/she might still want to talk, you can try talking to them about this.
DaughterofChrist
June 29th, 2017 2:32am
Be honest. Talk to them about how you are feeling, but don't forget about the reason you broke up in the first place.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2017 6:56am
Tell your ex how you feel and maybe you can get a second chance. If not then it just means they aren't the one so keep looking.
allnaturalUnicorns70
November 21st, 2017 4:27pm
First consider you ex's feelings. Will he/she appreciate you reaching out? If not, trying to move on makes sense. If yes, maybe explain why you ended it and ask for consideration in restarting things?
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 6:48pm
The most logical thing that you could do is simply talk to your ex. Maybe they feel the same way, you never know.
Egowanderer26
December 6th, 2017 12:09am
Alot of people may experience a sense of regret after having made a decision to break up. Feeling alone is the a difficult process when you are used to having someone by your side. I would recommend reevaluating your reasons to why you broke up. Revisit all your emotions from what lead to the break up. Do the reason/s have importance to you still? Sometimes loneliness can mask our true feelings. Trusting your intuition will never take you where you weren't meant to be.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 3:17pm
Take time to process the way you are feeling. Consider it from all angles as this will help you to realise every aspect of your decision and think about all of the impacts it will have, both positive and negative. This isn’t about weighing up the pros and cons of separating, it’s about taking into account what is going to be beneficial to you and your ex in the long run. If you are still in the initial stages of a breakup, these thoughts are totally normal and everybody experiences them whether they initiated the breakup or not. It is simply our brains natural reaction to major change, allow this to pass before jumping to any conclusions.
Ariel1115
December 10th, 2017 8:41pm
I think it is best to think of why you broke up in the first place. Sometimes we regret, because the fear of loneliness gets to us, but we could also let some good ones go. This is why sometimes it is best to just think of what is best for YOU!
Anonymous
January 9th, 2018 9:43pm
Be honest with yourself & your ex. First think long and hard why you are regretting breaking up with your ex- is it because you are now lonely or were not prepared to be alone? If you genuinely have feelings for your ex, be honest about how you feel & prepare yourself because your ex might have already let go and moved on.
StepOneListen
January 12th, 2018 9:42pm
This question is such a difficult one. Depending on how it ended there are a few things you could try. Being open and honest with yourself is a start, and with your ex as well. I don't know if getting back with your ex is something that is possible or even healthy. However, what I do know is that you have this feeling of regret that is brought up with this. And start by dealing with that first, and look for answers later. I hope that you are able to get yourself to a healthy and acceptable place.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 7:41am
I think that the first thing that you should do is to express your feelings towards your ex with them. You know yourself best and if you still have feelings you should take the path that you feel you need to.
xxabbey
January 25th, 2018 9:06pm
if you regret breaking up with her ex then talk to him or her about it and see if yall can get back together
WallflowersandRoses
February 3rd, 2018 1:33am
Think about why you broke up in the first place. Does that reason still seem valid? If not, then try to patch things up with them. Life is too short to live with regrets.
Ashley132
February 4th, 2018 3:05pm
Confront them and explain you made a mistake, if it doesn’t go to plan its time to start fresh again
BukiDuki
February 7th, 2018 1:08am
Try and talk it out with them. Start a conversation and talk about what happened, and let them know how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.
HoneyBee92
February 7th, 2018 1:00pm
Take some time to understand why the relationship didn’t work out, and then talk to your ex face to face
starryPanda93
February 8th, 2018 3:23pm
just thing that everything happens for a good reason..still if you miss him or her ..then be friends wid them.
ArjunAttam
February 8th, 2018 6:37pm
We all do things we regret later. Talk to your ex and if he also wants to patch-up, nothing better than that. But if your ex has already moved on, you should not feel so bad. You are really a great person to understand your mistake and know what you want. You will also find someone who is best for you.