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I still have dreams about my ex, sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad. What does that mean?

214 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 1:20am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Andrea Tuck, LCPC

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I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 31st, 2019 9:26pm
You know more about why than I do. We can chat and find out more about this. Consider the reasons why he is good or bad in these dreams; maybe there is a connection there to consider. A lot of times, our dreams are working to resolve these issues, and as a participant, perhaps you can draw connections between these events and your dreams. Try looking at these dreams like you are a reporter trying to get the facts. When you consider what the facts are, without including the emotions attached, you might discover more. What do you see? What do you think?
Anonymous
October 5th, 2019 4:18pm
Most people seem to have different interpretations as to the significance of dreams. For some they have deep meaning and relevance. For others they might feel more random in nature. Either way, it seems safe to say that the emotions involved in the dream are likely pertinent to an emotional state that is happening in one's life. Perhaps it is stress, perhaps it is loneliness or joy. Maybe during a happy time in life, the happiness summons a happy recollection of an experience with your ex while you sleep. And conversely, perhaps during stressful times, a dream might be triggered of an equally stressful time in a past relationship.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2019 7:57am
often times we would like to believe that our dreams are what it is. there were several times I had dreamt about people coming back after they’ve left me as well. I believed that it was a sign that he’s missing me in real life and he wants to come back to me. however, we have to know that our dreams are often times an indication of us and our unconscious thoughts rather than an indication of others’. for instance, I dreamt that my ex came back to me. in real life, he wasn’t intending to come back to me. it was just my inner desire wishing he would come back to me, and thus it was translated into my dream. perhaps try to focus on what these dreams are saying about you rather than thinking what this is saying about someone else. (: all the best!
Anonymous
October 25th, 2019 12:41am
Dreaming about an ex can mean many different things. Thankfully, usually it has nothing to do with that person. Sometimes, this dream is an indication that someone or something in your current life is bringing out feelings you felt when you were in the old relationship. This may be your brain telling you of something old. Do you see yourself repeating patterns from before? This could also be an indication you miss something from the past relationship (not the person.) Was there a part of that relationship that brought you happiness that you know longer have? Such as certain experiences you had together or activities you did?
RubyDragonTea
October 27th, 2019 8:15am
It means your a normal person. We dream about many different things, most of which are based on our experiences. Strong experiences, especially ones with strong feelings, create memorable dreams that stay with us when we wake up. Dreaming about your ex just means that they were a part of your life at some point. It's not different than dreaming about a toy you had as a child or a sports game you were in. Even if the dreams were all good or all bad, that doesn't mean the experiences you are dreaming about are all good or all bad. In summary, I would say that these dreams just mean you are processing your feelings about your ex - the good ones and the bad ones - and you should take it as a healthy sign of emotional stability and mature dealing with your past :)
daisychristabel
November 3rd, 2019 9:28pm
It just means, I believe, that you are still living with a hole in your life that is shaped just like your ex was, and the way you lived your life while together fulfiled you in a way that no longer exists. I also believe dreams can provide healing and restorative effects- clearly you have dreams about him because, when awake, and below the level of awareness, he is on your mind, so therefore will occur in your dreams. Also, you are trying to overcome it, and the dreams I believe are a way of your brain coming to terms with the loss that you can't control but only process internally and even unconsciously.
silverSunshine3162
December 22nd, 2019 6:17pm
Romantic relationships carry a lot of powerful emotions. Our dreams are often our subconscious working through our personal traumas. It’s ok to be sad. Time heals all wounds. I’ve been through similiar experiences, and there’s no doubt it’s difficult. But as I healed through the breakup the dreams became less and less frequent. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s going to be ok. And if you ever need to talk about it, I’m here for you. It never feels good to keep things inside for too long, so if at any point you’d like to reach out, I would be more than happy to listen.
NirvanaisNow
January 17th, 2020 5:14am
There is still a lot about dreams that science does not understand. One theory is that our dreams are our minds way of piecing together unresolved issues and events that happened during our waking day. You might want to ask yourself how these dreams make you feel? Writing a dream journal and comparing notes overtime might give you more clarity as well. For it can be difficult to know just from one dream. But with multiple entries you might find a pattern. Cross reference that with a food journal and a daily journal. Maybe even share your findings with a therapist.
CaringKitty457
February 19th, 2020 9:23am
I don't think there's one meaning that we can pinpoint this to, necessarily. However, it could point to the fact that maybe you are subconsciously thinking about your ex often. You may be worried about them. Whatever it may be, there is a high chance that you are probably thinking about them a lot, maybe even without you knowing it. I know what it feels like to dream about someone that you have loved before (and maybe still love). It is rough being reminded of that person in your sleep, where you have no control of what you dream of. But sorting through what exactly this could mean for you, and trying to figure out what exactly you might be thinking that you're unaware of, might help you actually detangle some of the inner conflicts that you may not even know you're facing.
soothingBreeze49
March 22nd, 2020 8:00am
Dreams are hard to interpret, we sometimes dream about things that never happened to us in real life and sometimes we dream about things that can never happen truely. We might dream about someone just for thinking about them before we sleep. You might still feel like the relationship isn't over yet or you are over thinking stuff. Try to dig deep into these dreams and your emotions to see what do you want to do next. If you feel like you have things you would like to say to your ex then you should, some people say it's your subconscious message for you. Yes the sayings differ but that doesn't mean we can try.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2021 3:38pm
It can be difficult to cope with unresolved issues in a past relationship despite it being a long time since you have had other new relationships or feel you are happy in your current relationship. Common dreams about our ex-partners, ex-boyfriends, or ex-lovers all can be of different types of dreams. They could be about real life events, or can reflect negative feelings or unfinished business with your ex or partner, especially after a recent ex breakup. The good news is that you can focus on your daily life and current partner as well as happy relationship. You can consider keeping a dream journal to try find out whether you have common themes in your dreams, as it might just be somethings in your unconscious mind.
BBWANTSTOHELP
August 10th, 2020 1:10am
Dreams mostly occur to relax our mind, brain get relaxed while we are dreaming and it releases extra unwanted data in form of dreams maybe your brain want u to not stress about him and forget him that's why you are seeing him in your dreams , your brain is indicating you to move on ✌️✌️✌️Past always remains in past you don't need to stress yourself over it that's what your dreams indicate don't feel that you need him it's just you are going through a process of removing unwanted data from your mind . Just don't think about it it's normal I also sometimes see people but I take it lightly they are just dreams
calmmermaid
August 29th, 2020 3:37pm
Depends on how you perceive it and what is your present situation. If you just had a breakup, it's fine. If you are single, you are continuously thinking about it. If you are into a relationship, it is destructive. Dreams are part of what we think subconciously and what has a greater impact on our lives in the long run. That's the reason we hold on to it and it apprears in our dreams even when we don't want it. Try talking it out with someone here. There can be many reason as to why this is happening with you. Maybe we can help.
kareladahiwala
December 4th, 2021 12:59pm
A dream symbolizes as much as you want it to. If you think it is important for you to understand what this dream means, then you can think of it as your ex having a lasting impact on you and the dream merely symbolizes the ups and downs you faced in your relationship. On the other hand, it could also mean that you are trying your best to move on hence you are able to look at both the good and the bad sides. However, it could also simply mean nothing so it depends on what you would like to do with the information your dreams provide.
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2020 5:25pm
In the aftermath of a break up, it is common for a person to still think, daydream, or even have nocturnal dreams about the relationship. Sometimes, these dreams can feel like a part of you is still trying to process the relationship or the interactions shared with that person. If the relationship was bathed with overwhelming emotion (positive or negative) or if there was trauma (emotional or physical) associated with the relationship, such dreams may even be more frequent or more vivid. Usually, though, it seems such dreams are merely the mind's attempts to make sense of, process, and sort memories, thoughts, and feelings about the person or the relationship as a whole.
professionalVision4921
October 4th, 2020 10:04pm
Would you say that you have both good and bad memory’s of your past relationship? You ex is a part of your past. It doesn’t matter why you broke up, there had to be some good quality and fun times. The fact that this person is you’re ex makes me believe that it wasn’t meant to be and there was some not so great times. Are you currently in a relationship now? If so how are things going. I don’t think that it’s bad to have dreams about your past relationships. What do you think the dream means? Could there be something that is coming up that would make you think of him?
Anonymous
October 25th, 2020 8:33pm
It means that you still thing about your ex. Maybe you’re not conscious of it but you might miss them or feel like something was left unfinished so you can’t move forward. I also dream about my ex like once a month and it’s true that I still miss them sometimes. Again, maybe you just miss the memories, not the person. The thing is that many people think that dreams absolutely have meanings and stuff but sometimes that’s not true. Sometimes you just unconsciously miss someone eventhough you’re sure that you don’t think of them anymore. Maybe it’s time to reconsider your feelings, not ignore them.
caringRainbow3393
November 1st, 2020 6:23pm
It just means you care. It is hard to let go of some people no matter what they did to us or how the relationship ended. Caring is never a bad thing but sometimes we need to let the past go. Still thinking about them or having dreams about them is not wrong in a nd of itself but you should probably be careful that you do not dwell on those thoughts and dreams too much or it could cause unneeded emotional and mental stress. Make sure that you are putting yourself and your mental, emotional, and physical health before anything else.
DarkPiT23
November 22nd, 2020 10:08pm
The Person in Your Dreams is Thinking About You Dreaming about someone can be a sign that they are thinking or dreaming about you. This might come as a great surprise to you! If you dream about someone you have not seen for a long time they are likely thinking about you or might make an appearance in your life soon "There is something about them or something from back then that you may need now or are experiencing now." In fact, these kinds of dreams can be a warning. ... Dreams about an ex are no different. But usually it just means you're still processing something from that relationship — or even just that period of your life.
kindcherry2
December 3rd, 2020 2:46am
That you're dreams may mean something. It may be a sign that you either should be thinking about him or shouldn't I know it's hard to understand you're dreams sometimes and what they mean and what you're supposed to do and how to react to it. I'm here to help you through the hard stuff. I'm here to listen, to support, To be helpful and make you feel better about was is going on with you. Figure out what's the best plan for you and how you think you should go on by doing it. I'll be here no matter the happy or sad times.
Chattytalker1
November 30th, 2021 2:38am
I know when having dreams, in this case about your ex could mean that there may be unfinished business or questions that you need answers to. Maybe it's a sign that you need to deal with that relationship(s) issues as there is unfinished business. Maybe there are feelings that you didn't realize you still had. I know for myself I had to do some self care and therapy in order to get over the relationship as it was toxic and very unhealthy. Look into yourself, some soul searching and maybe you can come up with an answer or maybe you may need some professional help to help you understand why these dreams keep happening.
LiftYourHead
January 15th, 2021 6:29am
Mainly, these dreams are just your brain missing the person. Maybe you're unsettled with the way things ended between the two of you, or maybe you're still trying to work past the way your relationship ended in your mind. These dreams can mean you miss this person, or perhaps certain qualities of the person. But it can also mean that you miss feeling wanted, or that you miss being in a relationship. I hope this helped and if you need anything or more clarification, just comment on this. Remember, you are worth it and lift your head to the sky.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2021 2:30am
Your brain is just processing everything that happened! I thought mine once meant more, but reconnecting with my ex just brought me more pain that I didn't need to go through. When we sleep-and sleep is important-our brain is actually clearing out all of the muck of the day, like taking out the trash and sanitizing. Everything that was left over gets cleared away and there's more room for tomorrow's information and sensory input! What's really happening with your dreams is your brain is most likely clearing out the rubbish bin and scraping away the negative experiences. Just continue to get some rest and take care of yourself!
NinaBee
July 14th, 2021 9:35pm
Dreams don't have a clearly defined reason for existing. There are theories, of course, that they're everything from a message from our subconscious to just the side effect of your neurons being stimulated while processing the day's events. But assuming dreams do have meaning, it's very possible your dreams are telling you that they meant a lot to you, and maybe they still do. It could also mean you have unfinished business. It's completely up to you, however, if it's worth your energy to seek that closure, or just forgive them and move on. It could also just mean they're a familiar face and an easy one for your brain to reconstruct from memory. So the short answer is it really depends on the relationship you had, and what you believe about dreams. What you give importance to.
AMomentInTime1830
July 9th, 2021 12:53pm
This doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything. Sometimes people or things can appear in our dreams simply because they’ve been a part of our lives. Looking at your dreams and the other components within it, may help you better determine what your subconscious may be trying to tell you. How does the dream play out? Who was in it? What were your surroundings? And what was the general feeling of the dream? Taking a deeper look into your dreams can often help to show you what they really mean, and expose what may be happening in your life that you may feel unsettled or confused about
sereneHug6809
November 10th, 2021 10:09pm
Dreams have many meanings. Sometimes dreams are our body and brain trying to process our complex emotions. We may not know how we feel and our mind tries to figure this out. This can cause of us to ruminate, which won't get us to a helpful answer. Instead we should take a different approach. For example, reaching out for help from a therapist or using the 7 cups guide to find practical solutions to resolve feelings. We could try to gain new perspectives on our problem, think about it in a new way that allows us to focus on our values and achieve our goals.
calmMoon2479
June 24th, 2021 8:55pm
Hi, Having dreams about your ex and the associated attachments sound natural. We all form attachment bonds to others we become close to and when we lose these connections it takes time and care to process, like cutting off a plant stem, we still have our roots and know that a new stem will grow, but only if given time, and the right attention. As for what it means, perhaps it's your body giving you a sign that there are still things it needs to process from that time and it feels that now is perhaps the right time to do so. Perhaps it may help to discuss the details of your dream with someone who will listen closely, as well as explore what may be important to you about the relationship to you still. Alternatively, taking time for yourself to write out the events of the dream or your past relationship on paper/ digitally, it may give you some perspective, which you can repeat at a latter time and compare. Lastly, I think it's positive that you are taking the time to notice and seek to process your dreams about your ex step by step. To have something mentally reoccur a lot is often a sign it is important and to bury it would likely only make it more intense. Good luck with your exploration, please take it at your own pace, to process an emotion/ significant event is never a strait light, but more like feeling your way through a dark room. Thanks again for reaching out and take care.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2021 10:10am
If someone is still on your unconscious mind, it means you haven't been able to get over the event. Regardless of them being good, or bad, the mere fact that you are constantly dreaming about them is a glaring hint that you need to resolve the issue. Whether that's by coming to terms with how you're feeling, or taking time to practice self-care so that you feel more confident about YOU than them. Perhaps you didn't have time to get over the breakup or your ex is someone that you find it hard to get over, it's your body's way of telling you to take care of how you're feeling inside. You've got this, we're all rooting for you.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2021 9:16am
Dreams just reflect a persons mind or the things a person experienced during the day. There is a possibility that you might not be over your ex completely. It can be a dream where your subconcious mind is trying to fulfill your desire. It also depends how recent the breakup is. If you think it is not that then it is possible to have dreams about them, because something or someone constantly reminds you of them in your daily life. Third reason i can think of is that maybe there are some unsolved feelings when it comes to your breakup, your ex or yourself.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2021 7:55am
Usually we dream about things we might be thinking about. Have you been thinking about your ex a lot lately? Do you miss him? Also our brains can't imagine new faces when we dream, so everyone in our dreams is someone who we have seen or met at some point. But then again dreams are very weird in general. Sometimes you can dream that you are doing strange things, but it doesn't need to mean that its a sign about something. With your ex, did you leave the relationship in good terms or was it a more complicated breakup?