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I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?

415 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2022 at 3:04pm
I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
MrRoboticWrites
December 16th, 2015 3:17pm
It's natural to feel like that. Feelings will pass and fade away over time. My advice? Try to focus on something/someone else, it will be hard at first but gradually it will get easier and easier
Linksfaerie08
December 16th, 2015 5:08pm
Love is a long journey to both experience and get over. Your feelings are perfectly valid. Every emotion you feel, you have every right to feel and nobody can tell you otherwise. Time will heal all pain.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 7:57pm
Yes, of there's love it can never be faded at the corner of your heart you're somewhere bound by his/her thoughts in mind
emidawri
December 16th, 2015 9:32pm
I'm not sure if you "should" feel this way, but I do think it's important to recognize that it's understandable why you feel this way. You and your ex probably had some really great times together, and they are familiar and comfortable. You can't let yourself reminisce too much and forget why you broke up though. You guys didn't break up for no reason.
wonderousBeauty87
December 16th, 2015 10:01pm
Long lasting feelings for an ex loved ones are completely normal: specially,in terms of long term relationships. Nevertheless, one should be aware that a great deal of those feelings are frequently associated with the good memories and shouldn't be confused.
sereneSun58
December 16th, 2015 10:35pm
You'll always love your ex! you had a history together.. but your ex is your ex for a reason.. But maybe if he/she feels the same.. You can work things out together
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:46pm
you have every right to feel this way. It may be difficult but you cant control your feelings.
CuddlyOasis98
December 17th, 2015 4:44am
Yeah its natural to feel this way because you were emotionally attached to that person. Its okay you'll get over him/her eventually
Anonymous
December 17th, 2015 1:31pm
It depends . If that one person kept you happy then surly yes .. but now as he left you or you left him .. you shouldnt .. just take it as he/she never deserved you
clh2os
December 17th, 2015 6:06pm
You can feel any way you choose. .especially when it comes to love. Love is difficult to overcome--don't be afraid to own that emotion, but don't allow it to prevent you from moving forward. Learn from it, grow from it....make your next love even stronger based on this experience
Toeknee
December 17th, 2015 9:31pm
its normal to still have feelings for someone you've spent a lot of time with. keeping busy could help
Anonymous
December 17th, 2015 10:28pm
Almost everyone will still love their ex after they break up. It's completely normal and nothing to worry about. It will take a while to get over your ex but I can't say how long because it really depends and it varies a lot. But don't worry if you still love your ex.
Nakuu
December 18th, 2015 1:43am
We never fully let go of the people we once loved and feelings will always linger around, it is perfectly fine to feel that way but you have to ask yourself if it is holding you back from moving on or not and try to work from there.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 8:05am
It is very difficult to move on from people we are very comfortable woth...its perfectly understandable...
miamaiamaya
December 18th, 2015 11:49am
Its super common to feel this way. You were very close to one another and actually had a great relationship. It is a good idea to surround yourself with things that make you happy - friends, family, books, tv when trying to move on.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 8:44pm
If you once loved someone they will always have a special place in your heart. It takes time to get over someone and there's no general amount known. Each relationship is different and love doesn't go away because we want it to. We have to go through the healing process.
Ricky13
December 18th, 2015 11:06pm
It is a common feeling that many people have after breakups, so do not feel weird! Do you feel you miss your ex or are you feeling that you still love your ex?
superman02
December 19th, 2015 6:44am
Loving your ex isn't wrong your feelings aren't wrong but, it can be confusing especially if you don't now the reason they are your ex. The best thing I can say is it's something you need to sit down with yourself and really think about and then you be the judge of if you should love them or not.
NachtHexen
December 19th, 2015 1:04pm
Yes it is normal to feel this way, but you also need to evaluate why you broke up. And think on it.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 6:54pm
Well if he treats you well and there isn't anybody else in the picture i dont see why not. I broke up with my current boyfriend for another man and it made me realise that i was meant to be with him and i needed to be away from him to realise this
MarkoP
December 19th, 2015 8:26pm
Yes, up to a point. The feelings that you are feeling now are just the echo of the relationship you were having earlier. You need to allow yourself to continue on your way.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 2:27pm
I think it's very natural to still love an ex depending on how long ago you've broken up or how things ended. Reflect on why the relationship ended and if he/she still had the qualities that made you love them. As soon as you can come to terms with that you can work on trying to move on and accept your break up. You will come to terms with the fact that there are many other great people out there too!
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 9:16pm
It's absolutely normal to feel that way. A few years ago, I was deeply in love with my ex. Even after we broke up. But then I suddenly moved on. I found someone better for me and he was a lot better than my ex. Now, my ex still loves me and I'm over it :).
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 2:58am
It is normal to feel this way but then again you shouldn't feel this way after a while. You should be awesome.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 12:38pm
It is normal to still be in love with your ex, a relationship ends with words but love does not always and It can be very hard to forget that person so it may take a while but its okay :) Although if you are sure it is really over you should concern now about letting go and moving on otherwhise you might get hurt.
StrawberryCookies
December 23rd, 2015 3:47pm
It's normal for some people. But if you still do love your ex, then try to talk to him, and ask him whether he still feels the same or not. If he doesn't, make some effort to get him back. Try to make him remember the time and memories you spent together. If not, you will lose him someday.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 6:52pm
After you break up with someone the first month is maybe the hardest, and also there are left out emotions you need to clear up, sure every time you look at your ex you feel something inside you like maybe hope or a thought maybe there was a way to end it differently. But you should know that in most situations breaking up was the best idea. So most of the time it isn't love it is just a mix up of emotions you experienced while being in the relationship.
eleanor0610
December 23rd, 2015 11:19pm
You're totally entitled to feel this way. When you love someone and you break up, these feelings don't just go away. You will figure things out though - whether you get back together or whether you meet someone else, I hope you heal soon.
Anonymous
December 24th, 2015 8:55am
well it's normal to feel that way i mean you have spent alot of time with him/her so these feelings wown't just go away like that you need time to get over him
Laraaa3
December 24th, 2015 5:08pm
It's okay. Love is a thing you can't control. But don't let get in love to heavy, you can regret that later.