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I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?

408 Answers
Last Updated: 01/17/2020 at 2:44pm
I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice


I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
January 10th, 2016 2:46pm
Getting over people is very challenging. It will take time to get over your ex especially if they hurt you. Take all the time you need and don't feel bad if the other person moved on. It doesn't make your value as a person less. Don't rush things and don't try looking for someone new because it will make you feel even worst.
January 10th, 2016 8:09pm
of course, but question the way you were treated, was it positive or negative, remember if it was healthy or unhealthy
January 11th, 2016 7:26am
It is completely natural to feel this way. Getting over and ex isn't easy, and it can take a long time to get over them. But with time and patience, we learn what our next step is to either fix ourselves or maybe even rekindle our relationships if they can be in a healthy way. Feelings take time to process and heal. Don't feel discouraged if you still feel this way, we've all been there before.
January 13th, 2016 12:24pm
Then he/she is not your ex! Perhaps you need some rehabilitation or you should fall in love with someone else!
January 16th, 2016 9:27am
It is ok to feel this way. It is just that you haven't started your new chapter yet. And when you do you will learn to love someone else.
January 17th, 2016 6:38pm
All feelings are valid. Perhaps speaking with someone you trust or writing out your feelings and braking down your thoughts could help you feel more comfortable.
January 17th, 2016 11:03pm
If you should feel this way is hard to say but some feelings are hard to let go. Try not to focus on it, it will either go away with time or you may have love for that person forever. No matter how it ends up youll be okay and will find someone new to fill the void, I promise :) You may think you still love them but that can change in the future and you may be able to let go. Remember this.
January 20th, 2016 8:32pm
Well, you're ex is the person that you may/may not have slept with but you really liked or even loved. You'r heart doesn't having a keyboard to type into and say stop loving him/her, it's still going to have feelings for the person. Hanging onto an ex isn't exactly healthy,as if they've moved on so should you. Unless you want to get back together but anyways. It takes a while to get over your relationship and break-up so it's natural but it shouldn't be to a "pining over" state because that's unhealthy.
January 20th, 2016 10:16pm
We're both in the same boat and guess what? It is perfectly normal. It is quite difficult to 'fall out of love' with someone who you firmly believed to be 'the one' as I am sure you have. You've invested a lot of time, energy and emotions into this person. No one is ever emotionally prepared for a breakup and it takes time to really move on from someone.....especially if we're holding on to memories and the feelings that are associated with them. Try to embrace those feelings and come to terms with what has happened, and when you are ready you will let them go. At the end of the day, we are the only ones responsible for our happiness. :)
January 21st, 2016 1:01am
Yes, it's normal. But very unhealthy because you could ruin both you & your next relationship being stuck to an ex. Talk it out with your ex if feelings are still the same.
January 21st, 2016 8:03am
There is nothing wrong with loving your ex. If your breakup was unexpected it's normal to love your ex because they just dissapeared in your life, left a hole and you would do everything to get him back. Time heals and you'll get over him but you miss him. DO something you like and enjoy your time, he will disappear from your mind slowly , but he will.
January 22nd, 2016 1:11pm
I can see you still love your boyfriend. it is normal on my point of view. make sure you get healed and try to move on or go back and ask if its possible to have his love back
January 22nd, 2016 1:32pm
Its OK. You used to love each other and now that your separated your feelings cant just magically go away. It may take some time and be hard not to approach your ex but give it some time.
January 23rd, 2016 5:20pm
I still love my ex to and its not a matter of weather you should or shouldn't. whatever your feeling is how you should feel. there is no wrong or right to the way you feel
January 23rd, 2016 6:23pm
yes, because if you were in love with your ex like I was you will always have feelings for that one person no matter what..
January 23rd, 2016 7:53pm
Its only natural for feelings to linger. Eventually you will be able to look at your ex as a fond memory or a part of the past.
January 24th, 2016 2:59am
If you have recently broken up with them then you will need time before your feelings will move on..
January 27th, 2016 3:28pm
It's perfectly normal to still have feelings for your ex especially if they broke up with you but even if you broke up with them it's still normal
January 27th, 2016 4:22pm
I think it is for a while. You need to take time to heal and redefine yourself a long relationship. Focus on your work friends and family. It gets easier over time. When you least expect it you'll realize you haven't even though of your ex in a long while. 😃
January 30th, 2016 6:59am
Yes, it's perfectly healthy to miss someone, especially if you'd spent a lot of time with them. And it's more "longing" than love.
February 3rd, 2016 1:28am
breakups are hard. love felt in relationships could last a short or long time but it's ok to feel that way. sometimes things don't work out and things stay that way but sometimes when things don't work out second chances are given and it ends up being the best time of your life so if you feel you still love someone try and make it work.
February 4th, 2016 4:09am
It makes sense that if you cared intensely for someone, that just because you break up doesn't mean the feelings will suddenly go away. You shared a lot of good memories and while maybe you didn't work as a couple it's okay to still love them.
February 6th, 2016 11:17pm
Is love a bad thing? Do you feel like you should still feel this way about your ex? Many people still harbor feelings for an ex after the relationship has ended; you are definitely not alone. Have you had friends or heard of other people have feelings for their ex after a break up? Have you thought about talking to them or a listener on here about it? Do you remember though, the reasons for why things didn't work with your ex? Do you remember what you loved about your ex? Remembering all of that, can you put together a list of things that you want in a relationship/partner? Just because a relationship didn't work out doesn't mean you absolutely have to stop loving the other person or learning from what happened between you two. Sometimes letting go is a great act of love in itself both for you and the other person even though it may hurt.
February 8th, 2016 2:32am
Its perfectly normal to feel this way its part of being human. It takes time to get over relationships.
February 10th, 2016 1:04am
To me it all depends on how you broke up and your ex personality. It happens to feel that way since the relationship is a long term established communication and getting used to someone is not easy to be forgotten by days and weeks. to me , it's normal to still love your ex if you haven't experienced a terrible and disrespectful breakup, or Whatever else that ruins the strong bonds between two persons.
February 10th, 2016 4:02pm
I feel like you'll always feel love towards someone id you've loved them in the past. sometimes you just need to realize that it didn't work out for a reason, and that you can love someone without being with them. it's possible to feel love for someone but not have a relationship with them.
February 18th, 2016 9:12pm
it happens,but remember...the ones we need doesn't always need us......maybe they want us but that's not enough.always look at a bad break up and look at all the wrongs that u were bearing and learn from them
March 10th, 2016 6:29pm
Well it depends on how long it's been . It's totally normal in most cases after it's been a little while but if they've moved on then in that case you should too. Never get into another relationship when you're still thinking about someone else , you'll only really hurt and confuse the other person in that manner . If your ex is still approachable , try to talk to them about it :) I'm always here if any of you need me , that's a promise 💕
March 10th, 2016 10:15pm
It is perfectly natural to feel this way. We cannot always control our emotions but we can control what we do with them. You know your romantic situation better than anyone, so dig deep into your heart and see what you truly need, and how you can achieve it.
March 12th, 2016 3:29am
It's perfectly okay to feel this way, everyone does at some point. You just need to give it time....