Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't yet. What should I do?

88 Answers
Last Updated: 06/25/2018 at 5:25pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
February 6th, 2016 3:49pm
Wait until your boyfriends ready. Don't rush things. The best thing to do is just take things slow. You don't want to have a baby too fast in the relationship because having a baby can really put a huge stress on the relationship.
February 12th, 2016 10:07am
Wait till he's ready because an unwanted child by a parent is a worst way to grow up and feeling unloved.
February 12th, 2016 6:00pm
Having a baby is always the same as being faced with more consequences and responsibilities. As for that, you might want to talk with your boyfriend about this, discuss it thoroughly, and you might find the best answer for both of you in no time.
February 13th, 2016 1:21am
Decide how much you want a baby and if it could be a deal breaker. It's nearly impossible to change someone's mind about such a big decision. Also, be sure you want a baby for the right reasons. Sometimes people do not want a child for completely the right reasons.
February 13th, 2016 5:22pm
It’s so easy to ruin your relationship, but do you really want to be filled with remorse till your dying day? If you love your partner, you should try to understand him. Maybe he’s been going through a really hard time now. Maybe he has some financial problems. Or, maybe he lost a child a few years ago and he is not ready for a new baby. Don’t push him and don’t talk about kids every single day. Figure out the reason and try to close the subject for several months. Chances are that he will appreciate your understanding and patience.
February 13th, 2016 6:21pm
Well I would say to talk it out maybe make an arrangement. Maybe he wants to wait until marriage to have a baby. You don't want to move to quickly
February 14th, 2016 3:53pm
'Yet'! Your boyfriend doesn't want one *yet*. Don't give up on the baby or your boyfriend; just wait a while, discuss it with him, and he might just warm up to the idea.
February 17th, 2016 12:40pm
Wait it out. A Child has to be something that both of you want, to make it work. He will want one eventually :D
February 17th, 2016 3:19pm
You need to know why he doesn't want a baby and try to understand him. Maybe it is not the right time. Have patience everything will be alright at the end.
February 18th, 2016 8:17am
Having children is a major life decision that both people should be ready for. The most important thing at this point is having open communication with your boyfriend about your desires and making sure each of you understand your reasons for the way you feel. He may have valid reasons for not wanting kids yet, and you may also have valid reasons why you feel ready. Discussing these reasons in full is the best way to find out if the two of you are compatible on this issue in the long run. If he is not willing to speak about it with you or gets defensive when the subject is brought up, it may be a sign of a larger communication problem between you two. If he's willing to talk about the future and discuss the possibilities of children with you, but just isn't ready yet, then it might make the wait for you a little easier if you can understand his reasoning.
February 19th, 2016 7:59am
Waiting until both of you are ready can reduce problems in the future. Often, when one partner is not ready to have a child, it can cause disagreements or end a relationship. Give it some time to see if his thoughts about a baby will change in the future.
February 19th, 2016 8:01am
You should respect his decision but also voice how you feel about it to him. The key word is yet perhaps he will change his mind eventually.
February 20th, 2016 1:03am
I think you all should sit down and talk about it more and see if it is something you should really do.
February 20th, 2016 3:54am
Most definitely you shouldn't push your boyfriend into having a child. Talk to him about it and explain why it's so important to you. Give him time. If you love him and want to be with him, give him time to grow up to this kind of decision.
February 21st, 2016 10:07am
Have you thought of asking him why? Us, girls, are more prepared for this than guys. Try to ask him and see his reasons for this.
February 26th, 2016 10:38pm
If you love each other, and want to spend your whole lives together, it must be something that worth waiting for. Becoming a parent will be a really big change for both of you, and maybe he is not ready for this yet. You have to talk about it a lot, make plans and always be honest with each other. Together you can solve every problem and make good decisions, so don't be afraid to tell your oppinion, but never forget to listen to his!
February 26th, 2016 11:59pm
A baby is a life long commitment. It has to be something you both want. It would be best to sit down and have a discussion to understand why you are at different points in your life and come to a conclusion about what would be best.
February 27th, 2016 1:00am
Be honest. Talk to him about where he sees himself in the future and whether a baby is part of that vision.
February 27th, 2016 11:34pm
Well making a baby is a job of too, if he's not ready yet you cannot force him. Have patience and talk to him in a mature way, not pressuring him but letting him now why you feel like having a baby right now. Try to imagine how it would be if he was the one wanting to have a baby and you didn't. Having a baby is a great responsibility: you need money, time, matureness, a healthy environment, etc. It's never an easy choice to make.
February 28th, 2016 11:22pm
Do what is best for the baby. A baby shouldn't have to grow up with one parent, but rather a team; like most of us were. If there isn't a way to keep it, maybe it's best not to.
March 2nd, 2016 11:50am
give him and yourself time. think about it and whether you're ready to have a baby both mentally and financially. try talking to him about this and try understanding his point of view too.
March 4th, 2016 1:11pm
Wait because its always better to make sure he is certain. Good things come to those who wait and its always the best for a kid to have two parents because they are hard work
March 4th, 2016 9:14pm
Having a baby and taking care of a child requires both of you to be 100% in. I say wait and talk it out with him.
March 6th, 2016 1:00am
The most important thing you can do is decide if you want him to be the father of your children above all else, and work at it from there. Things will fall in place over time if it is meant to be, maybe he just isn't ready for that time of his life yet
March 6th, 2016 1:20am
Have a mature conversation with him and explain why you feel you want a baby. Ask him what he has against it and listen to his concern. Having a baby is a big step!
March 6th, 2016 11:20am
The best way to handle this is to find mediums that can satisfy your baby lust without hurting your relationship with your boyfriend. Try babysitting for some relatives or friends. Get a job or volunteer at a daycare center. Work in a pregnancy or infant help center. Any of those options or any other options that you can think of that can get you involved with kids will help you feel more complete. It will help satisfy your need to have a baby. True it is not your own baby but it is a temporary filler until your boyfriend is ready to have a child of his own. To get your boyfriend to get more used to the idea of getting a baby you can ask him to join you in some of those activities. If he enjoys playing with kids then he might start to think about having a kid of his own. Just do not force him to participate in the activities as that might turn him off of parenting. Be patient and be yourself. Hopefully your boyfriend will be ready to have a child soon.
March 6th, 2016 2:12pm
Wait. If he's not ready, it's not good to have a baby. You both should be prepared. It's good to honestly talk about it.
March 6th, 2016 2:45pm
You cannot force him to want a baby or family, he may not feel ready, perhaps getting a pet like a dog first.
March 6th, 2016 8:24pm
I understand getting along with your partner is hard, but it is your right to have children, and his right not to be a father. Talk about it until you agree; if you can't, maybe you should break up and go different ways. You both have rights--but can they collide? you're wondering. Try to talk about it to find a way.
March 7th, 2016 2:10pm
Communication is an integral part of a functioning relationship as a whole. Consider sitting down with him and just talking over what you want (a baby), why you want it, and why you think it would be better for the relationship overall. However, keep in mind that you cannot force him to change his opinion over wanting a baby or not.