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I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't yet. What should I do?

88 Answers
Last Updated: 06/25/2018 at 5:25pm
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United States
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Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
charmingBubbles59
March 9th, 2016 4:21am
A baby is something the both of you have to agree on. The best way to solve this is to come up with a compromise. You can't expect him to do great if he isn't ready. Talk to him about it and find a date you both could agree on. Don't push him.
listeinglushiouse999
March 10th, 2016 4:30am
my mom had this delema a while a ago she waited till the time was right and they both had my little sister
FlixMcGrizzle
March 13th, 2016 5:13pm
It's helpful to consider your boyfriends point of view... A baby can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. Have you considered talking this over with him?
Tatzilla
March 16th, 2016 5:44pm
Try to determine why he doesn't want a baby; is he unsure or is he certain that it's not for him? If you're both sure on where you stand on the matter and if you're not on the same side, perhaps staying in the relationship is a waste of time
MamaRyeBread
March 18th, 2016 4:57pm
While it may be frustrating to have to wait, consent is everything. If he wants to wait to have a child, wait with him.
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 8:45am
You must respect your partner's wishes. Maybe he is just not ready to be responsible for another human's life. Give him time yo think it through, I hope it works out.
Maia9
March 24th, 2016 8:58pm
Having a baby is a big change for someone to deal with in their life. If he's not ready, the best thing to do is to not push him. He'll eventually be ready. He probably just has things he wants to do before he has children. If you stick with him and you focus on maintaining a great relationship, chances are he'll eventually decide the same thing as you and settle down.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 7:54am
Talk it out honestly. If you feel you are 100% responsible and ready enough to take care of a little person, and your boyfriend agrees, go for it. But make sure you are with a good man who won't leave you.
Skygivesyoulight
March 26th, 2016 6:25pm
Find someone else. SOMETIMES Men take a long time to get ready for something like that. It's normal.
kayciehollyn
March 27th, 2016 8:16am
Try taking to him about why he doesn't and be willing to hear his side of the story. Don't discourage.
dancingPillow85
March 31st, 2016 11:30pm
wait while he's ready, or want it? It's probably not the best decision to have a baby in a family where father doesn't love his kid.
crispAngel43
April 2nd, 2016 2:09pm
he is your boyfriend right why don't you wait and get married then the child that you want will have a solid foundation.
AlexHelpingAllICan
April 3rd, 2016 5:08am
Waiting is sometimes the best answer, if he thinks he is not ready for the responsibility of having a child.
AveryinUnderland
April 6th, 2016 11:42pm
Take a few factors into consideration: are you old enough? Are you ready to take on the responsibility of another life? Are you financially stable enough? Some people are ready for the huge responsibility of parenthood and others aren't. Respect his decisions and have a good long conversation, it should help.
sandy1377
April 7th, 2016 3:04pm
you should wait for a while and then talk about it later to see if any thing changed he might change his mind later
AshcoSensei
April 7th, 2016 6:41pm
It all depends on what you and your significant other want. Talk it out with one of the listeners or your significant other! (:
Aquadreamer4151
April 7th, 2016 7:16pm
speak with him about why he does not want a child. you shouldn't force him into having a child with you he may not feel ready for that responsibility or may not feel financially secure enough to support a child the way he wishes
BeautifulAshes7
April 8th, 2016 6:34pm
In my opinion, you shouldn't have a baby if you're not married. However, it's your decision. If your boyfriend doesn't want a baby, find out why. Discuss it with him, and if his stance in the matter remains, respect the decision.
loganevora
April 14th, 2016 2:33pm
If your boyfriend never wishes to have a child, and you do, then I would find someone who matches your same future ideals. If he does eventually want a child, and you truly love him, be patient enough for the right time in both of your lives..
stayStrong95
April 22nd, 2016 4:47am
Talk to him, its not all his choice it needs to be a talked out thing. You both need to agree on something to make it work out
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2016 9:45am
I can understand that this is a frustrating time. I'd consider talking to him thoroughly about this, and maybe agree on a long term plan, after all this is a journey you have to take together.
Alvahie
April 24th, 2016 7:53pm
Talk to your boyfriend about it. Make sure the both of you are mature and ready for a baby. The mature and ready you are,the more capable you both will be to tak on the role of being a parent.
JohanDwanian
May 9th, 2016 8:42pm
I believe this is unique for each relationship as each couple and each person is different. Communication is always key. Why doesn't he want a baby yet? Will this change after a certain goal? Is it possible to wait and plan it for the future? How long are you willing to wait? Do you know if he ever wants a baby at all? If not have you thought about your own future and family? Whatever might be the case, communication is key. If you can come to a conclusion, no matter which one, you've made progress.
Anonymous
October 24th, 2016 1:40am
If he is not ready, don't rush it. Good things come at the right moments. Be patient and learn more about how he feels about becoming a parent...
Anonymous
October 24th, 2016 9:30am
It's important that you both feel ready to have a baby, after all a baby is a life long commitment! The important thing is you said he doesn't want a baby yet. Take your time, enjoy life, and eventually he may feel ready too. Keep lines of communication open, and discuss the possibility of a baby in the future. Good luck!
Anonymous
February 21st, 2017 12:04am
Well look every one at one point wants a baby in there life but at some cases the other person is not ready yet so my best advice is if you really love this person then wait till he/she is ready for it maybe it's not the best moment to have one Maybe yall to young for whatever reason I think it's best if you wait a little more
JoshuaKurogane
November 28th, 2017 8:32am
Sit down and talk to him, don't try to rush things. Communication is key when it comes to relationships so you shouldn't push the other person to do something they don't want to
Lorenzosama
June 25th, 2018 5:25pm
Respect his decision and give him time to think about it. Raising a child is a great challenge, even if you have the resources to. It will also take a lot of commitment from the both of you to make it through.