I want to stop thinking about my ex. What should I do?
Last Updated: 12/21/2020 at 9:06pm
Linda Miland, MA
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have a passion to help individuals address and challenge thoughts ,feelings and lifestyle factors that are contributing to mental health issues.
Top Rated Answers
FOLLOW THE 4 STEPS 1. TIME I think everyone knows how much time a relation eats up. We were in college so I honestly couldn't manage time for my interests. So decided that i would concentrate on my interests atleast for a brief period of 6 months and get back to my job again... 2. KILLING THE SOURCES I thought if i can stay away from the sources of my pain i think that would help me to some extent (Like the movies we watched together, the restraunts, the books, the gifts etc...) and I strictly managed to stick to this for the coming months. 3. NOT GIVING MYSELF A CHANCE i deprived my self of chances to contact her i told my best friend to change my fb, g-mail password(to which he cannot remember). trust me this was the defining move, once i felt so DAMN GOOD! A huge pressure of temptation was gone. I was no longer worried that one day I would have see her status message as "Had a lovely date after long time" (You know i had sleepless nights because of this worries) 4. CONCENTRATING ON MY CAREER My dad is decently rich but i know i cannot shamelessly sit at home forever. So I decided to i will use this time to explore as much as possible to make one final and serious decision about my career, and this motto really pushed me to explore a lot of things like, Neuroscience, philosophy, History, Design etc..
The more effort we put into focusing on ourselves, the easier it is to move on from previous relationships. There is no easy answer or quick fix here, you will think about your ex from time to time...that's okay. The real focus area isn't so much the fact that you think about them, but rather what you feel when you think about them. It is normal to think about someone who at one point meant something to you and you don't need to fight it. Rather, you want to make sure that thoughts of your ex don't necessarily have a negative effect on your mood. Depending on the exact issues you feel, you can try focusing on self-care, talking things out with people, surrounding yourself with others, picking up a new hobby...pretty much anything that helps you progress as an individual.
The firsts months are the hardest. But, it's getting better. If he's not the one for you, then you need to stop thinking about him. You'll need your closest friends, relatives to do some activities together. Be happy. Be you. And oh, don't listen to sad songs. Believe me, a year from now you'll become a person you never thought you could be.
Cut off any communication you have with your ex. Delete them from any social media. Do things that will help you get your mind off of them such as going out with friends or playing a sport.
spend time with those people you care about and do what you enjoy. Get a new hobby and be yourself. soon you will stop thinking
Not thinking about someone who played an important part in your life is hard but it gets easier. It can be helpful to find something new to experience. take up a sport, start a new hobby, hang out with new people. With time you will find your mind doesn't think about him/her as often.
You can distract yourself by watching movies, I recommend comedy and horror. You can read a book, you can play some video games to let your mind focus on the game instead of anything else
One thing you can do is to find something to keep yourself busy with other thoughts, like a hobby or discover a new hobby. Surround yourself with things or/and people that makes you happy.
When I went through my divorce, I found it helpful to do thing I loved and just for me. I have always enjoyed hiking and the outdoors, so I took a 5 mile hike by myself and loved it. Sometimes it is just good to spoil yourself.
Try to move on with life and do things that you enjoy, theres no reason to be hung up on someone who isn't present in your life anymore, it is probably for the best.
Delete everything you had to do with them. Looking back on those things will not help you, Try to put yourself out there and be social. Who knows maybe you will find someone new!
That isnt something that'll just go away. It takes time. Surround yourself with loved ones and take the time to build on yourself as a person. Stay positive! You're awesome (: Take it easy and discuss this with a member if you feel it is bothering you too much.
The memories of that person will never go away but value the good times you had with them. In time, and one you move on, the thoughts will fade away. These things take some time though]
Try to break communication with them, remove things that would remind you of them and get involved in something new.
it takes time to forget someone .. but just fill your time to the maximum .. stay with positive friends .. and don't give yourself time to think about it .. once you start thinking .. call someone or clean the house or something
Keep yourself busy. Do things you love to do and have a passion doing so. If you love music, find some new music to listen to. If you love sports, go out and play some basketball or soccer. If you love drawing or writing, write a story about how you feel or anything at all. Keeping yourself busy will prevent you from thinking about the scenario regarding about your ex.
You should begin to think of you first. I love most, wonder more. just think about you and your life.
Try to do all those things that you avoided when you were with your ex. When you realize that you're having fun without any restriction or hurdle, it will help you stop thinking about your ex.
Shift your focus , read books watch movies , peruse hobby keep way from any thing that related to your ex.
Let your mind think about him/her, so you can release the feelings, and be more peaceful.
It's no more than a question of remembering and falling in love with being alone and the things you might have not had time to do in a relationship. Maybe you've fallen out of touch with the latest news from a fandom on tumblr or haven't put as much effort into art, or read as much, but that can change if you use your now opened-up social agenda to attend to yourself rather than an ex.
1. cut/distance contact 2. get rid of gifts/pictures 3. meet up with friends/family more 4. keep very busy 5. cry if need be, it helps 6. do anything you can to make yourself feel good
In my opinion, you really have to surround yourself with others and things not involving them. I know it can be hard to not associate certain things you run across in every day life with them, but you really have to try and start associating those things with other happy memories or people.
Spend time with your friends and family. Listen to more music and think about positive things. Everything can be helped throughout the online and websites to help you get over heartbreaks.
Keep busy. When you start to think about missing them think briefly about why you broke up then move on to the present, live a full life
Do whatever you feel like you should do. Do something that you know will make you feel better. Take everything away that makes you think of him/her. Tell yourself you can do this. Treat yourself, eventually, you will rediscover yourself.
Remember why you two broke up and how much better off you are without him. Hope this helps since I had the same thing.
Start looking for a hobby, read books, watch tv shows, and let things be, life will take you to someone better.
Think about something that you love/love to do. Try to get your mind on something that makes you happy!
Fresh off a break-up, it's very difficult to stop thinking about the relationship you had and the memories you shared. Make a conscious effort to create new ones. Fill your day with things you love to do. Rediscover who you are without that person. The thoughts may never completely disappear but you will begin to control how much you dwell on past memories and how you feel about them changes because you are now beginning a wonderful relationship with yourself :)
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