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I want to stop thinking about my ex. What should I do?

96 Answers
Last Updated: 12/13/2021 at 11:11am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Kajsa Futrell, RTC

Counselor

I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
calmBeauty57
March 30th, 2016 2:21pm
Take up a hobby that requires concentration, like running or writing. These are purging and cathartic and require focus that can take your mind of certain emotions. Your mind can figure a lot of things out itself, if you give it room to maneuver.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2016 3:00pm
You have to block everything that reminds you of your ex. Block them on social media..start to love yourself.. You have got to be your own hero in the end...
Anonymous
March 27th, 2016 6:21pm
i think it's pretty tough. when you want to forget something or someone the memories with them always haunts you and make it hard to forget them. but time will make you forget them. maybe not forever but it will. and dont push yourself too hard to forget, it will make it harder
okkai
March 24th, 2016 6:13pm
Your ex may have been a large part of your life. Know that it's okay to be upset about this but you will not be sad forever. Look at this like a learning experience; what went wrong? Recognize the good times, but don't let the bad times fall into the shadows. Understand that there is a reason this happened and you can only grow from here.
Milkybambi
March 9th, 2016 6:26pm
First rid your life of everything you can that makes you think of them. Next start taking time to focus on yourself. Go out with your friends, treat yourself to a spa day, anything you really enjoy doing. Its important to take time for yourself as a reminder during hard times, that you are still important.
compasionateEagle
March 24th, 2016 1:07pm
Work on yourself, think about things you want to improve. Read, go for a walk, spend time with your family... Make exercise, if you want to. The more you focus into something positive, the better you will feel
Smilekid0808
March 20th, 2016 4:51pm
Do a positive cleanse! Donate any of their stuff you may still have lying around to charity. That way there are fewer reminders and you've helped someone in need. You'll feel good about the donation, and you will have taken steps towards moving on. Take a deep breath, smile, and go do something fun with a friend or two. :)
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 7:54am
Planning activities to look forward to can be helpful distractions. Breakups are hard, but know that time will heal all wounds. Also I've noticed for myself, when you're ready to date again, meeting new people is a very helpful way to get your mind off of your ex.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2016 9:50am
Think about something else
Anonymous
March 12th, 2016 2:26pm
Go out with your friends, delete everything you had of him, don't waste your time on him, that's the last thing you should do.
LucyCat20
March 12th, 2016 6:31am
first off start a cleanse. now is your time to start working on yourself. busy yourself and have fun
Bubbles46
- Expert in Breakups
March 11th, 2016 9:06pm
delete his number or way of contact with him and talk to friends. Find a way to distract yourself from your ex
Anonymous
December 13th, 2021 11:11am
Busy yourself onto some other stuff. Look forward. Do new things and try to smile. Read books and find a better partner. After some time you'll grow accustomed. And everything will fall back into the place. I understand the first few days can be hard. I have myself cried myself to sleep during the first few months and I constantly used to think about my ex but the thing is after you do what I mentioned, my life did a drastic turn and everything fell back into the place. I had heard beautiful friends and I found a much better love than him. Trust the process...of life.
Sunshade
April 24th, 2016 5:26pm
Have patience ... it will take time but soon everything will be fine ... set a goal in life ... it gives motivation ... work for it .... focus on fullfilling your dreams
Anonymous
December 21st, 2020 9:06pm
I'm so sorry that you're troubled with thinking about your ex. A great way to overcome these feelings is to vent about it in a journal, and then when you have let out all that you feel, go and do something else that can get your mind of of them. What interests do you enjoy? Music? Sports? Video games? Surround yourself with people who enjoy what you enjoy and put your time, attention and energy into cultivating more of the things you love. And if thoughts resurface again of your ex, redirect it back to your enjoyable hobby. Best of luck!
Starstruck11
July 3rd, 2018 2:59pm
My advise would be to fill your life with things you love. Be more assertive and just keep busy. Here's a number of activities that might work for you; hang out with your friends, socialize, read, DIY, run, exercise, try some mind puzzles, organise your home, do a chore (cook, now the lawn, wash the dishes, etc), volunteer, or anything else. If one thing doesn't work, move on to the next and try new things as well. Put yourself out there, be productive! Don't sit at home and mope all day, don't throw a pity party or binge-watch Netflix episodes you watched together. If something reminds you of them, drop it. If everything reminds you of them do something where you can't think, like running. But in the end you have to decide, do you really want to forget, or do you want to fix things? Yes, constantly thinking about someone is unhealthy. But, is completely ejecting them worse?
scenicJoy56
February 27th, 2018 6:33am
Do things for yourself. It’ll be hard at first, but fill your time with productive routine. Schedule time with friends, go to the gym (I won’t say everyday but at least several times a week. The more the better!) go for walks, try new things. Fill your schedule with healthy activities. The objective is to be too busy (preferably while also enjoying yourself) to think of them. It’ll take time to heal, but I assure you you will. It’s hard and it hurts but you need to focus on yourself, you deserve it!
ObjectiveRationale
November 20th, 2017 9:03am
Think about yourself instead. Your ex is an outside force, something you have zero control over. You do, however, have control over you. You control when you wake up in the morning, the clothes you wear, the food you eat, the movies you watch, and the things you enjoy. Your ex may have been a humongous part of your life, but right now, you need to focus on you. Self-care is incredibly important after a break-up, and self-care looks like many, many things. I also love "The Girl's Guide to Surviving a Break-Up" by Delphine Hirsch.
MuchOfAMuchness
February 21st, 2017 5:51pm
When a relationship is over, it is really important to give yourself time and space to move on. You spend a lot of time thinking about your partner when you're in a relationship, so it makes sense that you mind needs some time to catch up after a break up. If you are really struggling to move on, restricting communication and staying away from their social media are really important steps to put some distance between your current every day life and theirs. Checking in on them will draw out your thoughts and feelings, making it more difficult to put the person out of your mind. A break-up is a great opportunity to re-evaluate where you're at. Do you have a new hobby or interest that you've been meaning to dedicate yourself to? Now is the perfect time! By trying new things and creating new experiences, you will grow more as a person and have the added benefit of getting your mind off your ex. As time goes on, it can be easy to look back at your relationship with rose-colored glasses and miss what you once had. In these cases it is important to get some perspective and remind yourself that things weren't always perfect. Remember too that you will always have your memories of the time you spent together. The end of a relationship doesn't negate everything that you had together. Your relationships help shape who you are and your experiences will always stay with you. You don't need to stay in a relationship with somebody just to hang onto the good times!
MiniAshMart
January 17th, 2017 9:34am
Having a relationship end can be a painful experience, particularly when your thoughts continually drift back to your ex. Avoid contact with your ex, Even if you think you want to be friends with your ex, it's important to give yourself some time away from him or her. You must fully heal before you can begin spending time with your ex again.
BintNajem
September 5th, 2016 5:13am
Focus on something better and interesting which will keep the mind busy. But before that destroy all the physical things that might remind him.
HelpWisely
June 7th, 2016 2:54pm
Focus on other things, keep yourself engaged, allow the thoughts to leave on their own which will happen if you do not feed the thoughts with more of the same thoughts.
purpleidea777
April 8th, 2016 3:17am
Give yourself some personal time. Take a you day. Go to a spa, or spend some time with some good friends.
flavia7
April 23rd, 2016 2:01pm
Think about the relationship, the pros and cons. Appreciate the memories but remember the reason you broke up. Accept your pain and look at it as it is a piece of art, learn from it. Think more about yourself, about what you learned and about your path. Do something different, meet new people and learn from them. Read and listen to improve yourself. Appreciate and accept yourself.
CloudyPilot93
April 20th, 2016 7:31am
Immerse yourself in things that make you happy. Your favorite book, or music. Play your favorite sport. It's a matter of keeping your mind occupied with things that won't drag you down.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2016 6:03am
Focus on something new in your life. Such as a hobby or a project anything Positive in life is good.
rileylove
April 17th, 2016 5:05am
get rid of all the things that remding you of them. do things that distract you from thinking about them. for instance: listen to music, hang out with friends, meditate, pray, etc.
AlwaysSinging
April 13th, 2016 10:56am
Distracting yourself always works! Go do things that make you happy but don't remind you of them. Maybe hang out with friends!
Anonymous
April 10th, 2016 7:53am
ok honestly if you can't stop thinking about your ex then you're probably still in love with them. my advice is to just go talk to him/her!!! don;t be scared just go for it, and if it doesn't work out then OHH WELL life does go on, don't regret the chances you didn't take
Anonymous
April 9th, 2016 1:47pm
Embrace the fact that you are thinking about your ex, and even let yourself think about your ex, but dont let it stop you from allowing yourself to search for someone new to think about, dont let it keep you from going out, dating and living your life. Time while fade your thoughts, and the more you fill your days and mind with new and different things, the less your ex will occupie it.