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I want to stop thinking about my ex. What should I do?

95 Answers
Last Updated: 12/21/2020 at 9:06pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Linda Miland, MA

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a passion to help individuals address and challenge thoughts ,feelings and lifestyle factors that are contributing to mental health issues.

Top Rated Answers
MuchOfAMuchness
February 21st, 2017 5:51pm
When a relationship is over, it is really important to give yourself time and space to move on. You spend a lot of time thinking about your partner when you're in a relationship, so it makes sense that you mind needs some time to catch up after a break up. If you are really struggling to move on, restricting communication and staying away from their social media are really important steps to put some distance between your current every day life and theirs. Checking in on them will draw out your thoughts and feelings, making it more difficult to put the person out of your mind. A break-up is a great opportunity to re-evaluate where you're at. Do you have a new hobby or interest that you've been meaning to dedicate yourself to? Now is the perfect time! By trying new things and creating new experiences, you will grow more as a person and have the added benefit of getting your mind off your ex. As time goes on, it can be easy to look back at your relationship with rose-colored glasses and miss what you once had. In these cases it is important to get some perspective and remind yourself that things weren't always perfect. Remember too that you will always have your memories of the time you spent together. The end of a relationship doesn't negate everything that you had together. Your relationships help shape who you are and your experiences will always stay with you. You don't need to stay in a relationship with somebody just to hang onto the good times!
ObjectiveRationale
November 20th, 2017 9:03am
Think about yourself instead. Your ex is an outside force, something you have zero control over. You do, however, have control over you. You control when you wake up in the morning, the clothes you wear, the food you eat, the movies you watch, and the things you enjoy. Your ex may have been a humongous part of your life, but right now, you need to focus on you. Self-care is incredibly important after a break-up, and self-care looks like many, many things. I also love "The Girl's Guide to Surviving a Break-Up" by Delphine Hirsch.
scenicJoy56
February 27th, 2018 6:33am
Do things for yourself. It’ll be hard at first, but fill your time with productive routine. Schedule time with friends, go to the gym (I won’t say everyday but at least several times a week. The more the better!) go for walks, try new things. Fill your schedule with healthy activities. The objective is to be too busy (preferably while also enjoying yourself) to think of them. It’ll take time to heal, but I assure you you will. It’s hard and it hurts but you need to focus on yourself, you deserve it!
Starstruck11
July 3rd, 2018 2:59pm
My advise would be to fill your life with things you love. Be more assertive and just keep busy. Here's a number of activities that might work for you; hang out with your friends, socialize, read, DIY, run, exercise, try some mind puzzles, organise your home, do a chore (cook, now the lawn, wash the dishes, etc), volunteer, or anything else. If one thing doesn't work, move on to the next and try new things as well. Put yourself out there, be productive! Don't sit at home and mope all day, don't throw a pity party or binge-watch Netflix episodes you watched together. If something reminds you of them, drop it. If everything reminds you of them do something where you can't think, like running. But in the end you have to decide, do you really want to forget, or do you want to fix things? Yes, constantly thinking about someone is unhealthy. But, is completely ejecting them worse?
Anonymous
December 21st, 2020 9:06pm
I'm so sorry that you're troubled with thinking about your ex. A great way to overcome these feelings is to vent about it in a journal, and then when you have let out all that you feel, go and do something else that can get your mind of of them. What interests do you enjoy? Music? Sports? Video games? Surround yourself with people who enjoy what you enjoy and put your time, attention and energy into cultivating more of the things you love. And if thoughts resurface again of your ex, redirect it back to your enjoyable hobby. Best of luck!