I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?
Last Updated: 10/30/2020 at 2:28pm
Traci Seery, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Are you living your best life? My style is collaborate, supportive and compassionate. Together, we will develop goals that produce positive results to make your life better.
Top Rated Answers
Show them that you love them earnestly from your actions, don't make them feel insecure. Do things to create memories that will help them overcome their past shock. Tell them how much they're important to you in life time-to-time.
You should probably assure them that you won't be a cheater and earn their full trust and respect,slowly.
After sometime when they are not upset, talk to them about it. It's important that you communicate and try to understand each other. If they are still deeply affected maybe both of you should attend counselling/therapy together. This will show that you are supportive and committed to helping them out.
Talk to them about it. If it's a subject they want to discuss, then listen. If not, then be patient, they may open up over time.
Take your time with them because they probably won't trust you at first. Build trust so your relationship can progress healthily.
I think a lot of people get cheated on. I don't think it will have a major impact on your relationship, as long as you're not being "suspicious" or actually not being faithful.
Do not make the mistake that their ex did. Earn that person's respect and reassure them every now and then that you won't cheat on them like their past did.
Be your wonderful self! If your partner has trust issues involving cheating, and you're in a monogamous relationship, reassure him/her that you care for them and choose to be with them only. 7cups is here for them too! lol
Show them they can trust you. Do things that let them know you're honest, loyal, and faithful. Prove to them that you are better than the person who cheated on them and that you won't do that to them. Just prove to them that not all people are bad and that you're going to love them the way they deserve.
Have patience and make him/her feel comfortable about the relationship, she/he will start to build trust after a while!
Make sure they don't strongly start believe in it. They don't start believing that every person out there is going to cheat on them. That they are not meant to have a lasting relationship. When a person has the same experience lots of times, they start firmly believing in it. And it can destroy them. Also, please be understanding, compassionate and keep motivating them that they're good enough for you.
Let them open up slowly, don't force anything upon them. Someone who has been damaged like that has a hard time to open up or trust people.
You should make sure they feel safe and comfortable around you, so you can both trust each other and thankfully make this relationship work. However, make sure this person doesn't get to controlling or paranoid whenever you hang out with them - they have to understand you'll be faithful and genuinely good to them, and still let you enjoy your freedom.
As any healthy relationship should be, build it on honesty and respect. Be open, caring and honest to that person, and ultimately, don't do what you don't want to receive.
Make sure that he/she can have faith in you to not hurt them in the same way...be real and think before you act...and by doing that you show them that they can trust you- we all sometimes wonder even if just for a second: what if he/she ever cheats on my...how will I cope with the heartache again...etc etc...at the end of the day there are no guarantees where people are envolved....then again without trust and faith that your love can prevail over all obsticles...you can not possibly feel safe and secure in you're partner..... So yeah sometimes u are going to have to give/ show a bit more that your interest lie only in that person to make them feel a bit more secure....but you shouldn't have to constantly worry about it or change yourself totally to mold yourself into something that will make that person feel like you will never cheat....most of us has been cheated on probably at least once...most of us just don't always know it....so you know what life happens...and all I would say out of experience...is to communicate and tell that person you love them...you dedicate your heart to them...and sometimes you might not show or say it enoughand you don't know what the future holds...but right here right now is all that really matters and right now you only have space for that person in your heart.x
Trust is easy to give but very hard to regain once it breaks. Take it slow to gain his/her trust. Emotionally battered person doubts easily because they don't want to suffer the same feelings again. Be honest all the time that will help a lot if you want to get in to her/his world.
You can't change what happened to this person, the only think you can do, is do this person right, don't hurt them.
Support them. Reassure them that you love them and only them. Don't get defensive if they say they think you're cheating. Cheating is a tricky subject to deal with, show them compassion.
Your partner has likely experienced feelings of betrayal through their trust being broken. Be gentle with them. I would recommend restraining from inquiry about their past situation without them being the first ones to speak about it. However, it is always considered a positive move to let your partner know you are there for them, should they wish to discuss this topic with you.
Make sure they're comfortable and if they want you to, reassure them you're not cheating on them. If needed, let them monitor who you talk to and what you tell them if you're comfortable with it :)
First of all, if your partner has been cheated on, then he/she might find it hard to trust someone. If he/she chose to be with you after he/she has been cheated on then consider yourself lucky. Please don't hurt your partner and always be transparent to each other. Good Luck!
Be as supportive as you can be. Is understanding that after such an experience he has some trust issues but is important for your partner to know that you are not their ex and you will do different things to show so. Don't forget that also the relationship shouldn't be about you proving yourself to them but if it becomes a constant battle then you two should talk and part your ways if you are unable to work through this.
You should let them know that you won't hurt them and you must keep their trust as well as you can..
maybe start off by telling them what they have been through nobody should ever have to feel that pain and make it clear you wont do it so they know to trust you
Take things slow. Let them see and know that you will not cheat on them. Show them that you are trustworthy and you are not there to hurt them.
They might have some trust issues understandably. Just make sure you can convince them that you love them & you promise you wouldn't do anything like that. Its all about gaining their trust
Try to reassure them that you will be there for them, if possible promise that you won't cheat on them although it should be something that you can keep.
Make sure they know how much you love and appreciate them. People who have been cheated on have a harder time trusting and falling in love with someone.
Being cheated on can leave people scarred. I believe all you can do is be there for them, make sure they get the feeling they can trust you and just love them. Try to have compassion for them when you notice they are struggling with trust issues. And try not to take it personally if they do. You are not the one who hurt them. I think if you really want to know what to do, what's best for them, it's best to talk to them about it, because everyone's different.
theres nothing you can do but to show them that they can trust you with everything you do, show you care
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