I'm dating someone who has been cheated on. What should I do?
306 Answers
Last Updated: 04/26/2022 at 3:52pm
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Top Rated Answers
I've too been cheated on and the best thing you can do is let that person go because 9 times outta 10, the relationship was either draining or toxic due to arguments that mostly led up to the cheating and/or afterwards. Take time to gain the strength back with on you mentally and physically. Learn to love yourself over again and watch someone will come to love you better than the person who cheated on you
You should be patient and act carefully. Respect him/her because of a bad experience, not give reason to doubt your fairness.
Be kind to them. Best thing would be to not bring up the past in important conversations and be mindful of the things you say.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 2:06pm
Comfort them and make them know that every guy is bad and that you'll never do the same. Put yourself in their shoes
Treat them with care. Be prepared for jealousy and a very close very clingy boyfriend or girlfriend. Reasure them often. And just hold them close for a LONG time as often as you can.
Let them know that you won’t do the same. If they can trust you as you trust them they can be more involved in the relationship.
Nothing. Be present, be caring and patient but do not try to walk on eggshells around them in order to make sure they don`t get to the idea that you might be cheating on them. If they have trust issues, they shall work on them, you did not cheat on them, and you cannot take fault for their hurt.
Try to be understanding. They may be insecure at first. Give them time and love and they should feel better in time.
Firstly, try not to take their insecurities and fears personally. It's hard, I know. If you really care about this person, the only way to allow them to feel safe with you is to build trust. This takes time. However, people who have been cheated on can be difficult to have a relationship with. It's important to set boundaries. Feelings of insecurity can raise negative behaviours that might be directed towards you. Aggression, violence or abuse should never be tolerated. Your person may be hurt but they should still be expected to behave in a respectful manner. Sit them down and ask the same thing you've asked here. Get them to be as honest as they can (this may be difficult as it means they need to feel vulnerable) and just listen. However, only do this if you are serious about them. Don't get them to let you in if you are not sure you can be there for them.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2019 7:05pm
People who have been cheated on often have problems with trusting again because they are afraid that that trust will be broken again and will lead them to unwanted emotions like disappointment and/or sadness. So the important part is to be patient and prove that you are worthy of their trust, that you are not their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. This will be a hard process and how long will it take to go through will depend on how much the person was hurt with the event. So except for proving that you won't hurt them, acknowledge their emotions and show them your support.
For someone who has been previously hurt, and in this case, cheated on, to trust you and to love you, in itself, is a wonderful thing. Express your gratitude to the fact they are putting themselves in this vulnerable position for you, because trusting after you have been cheated on is frightening, and requires a lot of courage. One of the best things you can offer them is unwavering, absolute honesty. Be open with them and express your emotions, communication is key in any relationship, and the need for open and free communication and honesty in a relationship with someone who has been cheated on is perhaps even greater. In conclusion; express your honest and true love to them, they may need it and appreciate it more than you know.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2019 10:18pm
Most people who have been cheated on tend to lose a sense of trust with others and a decline in self-esteem. They may feel unworthy of affection, or may think that they aren't good enough. In these situations, you cannot make the solution for them; they have to become comfortable with themselves and others on their own. But you can be supportive of them and offer them words of affirmation such as "I appreciate when you do this for me" or "I really enjoy being with you". If they feel insecure, just know that it isn't anything you're doing wrong.
People who have been cheated on may have trust issues, need more validation than others, etc. As someone who has been cheated on, I can tell you that solid boundaries as well as the ability to be open is very appreciated. However, everyone is different, and it can be very helpful to have a 1-1 conversation with this partner to try and see what they need in the relationship. Being communicative with anyone in a relationship is good, especially in this circumstance. Someone who has been cheated on may be scared to go into another relationship in fear that it may happen again, so try checking in to see what they specifically need.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2019 3:02am
First, the fact that you're asking this question shows that you're considerate of their needs and how they have been hurt in the past. I think it could really help your partner if you showed this to them too, in a clear way. People who have been cheated on can have trouble trusting that a relationship is real and stable, doubting their own judgement. Your reassurance that you care about them deeply and don't want them to be hurt could go a long way. Another thing you could do is ask them this question yourself. Sometimes people don't know what they need, and that's okay, but they may have some ideas about things that would help them feel more secure and comfortable in your relationship. Even if they don't, you're opening up with honest communication and allowing these sincere conversations about your separate needs in the relationship to occur, and that's always a good thing.
Anonymous
October 18th, 2019 5:21am
dating someone who has been cheated on requires a little bit more work than usual! it has probably taken a lot of courage on their side to move into a new relationship. they could feel a little insecure and doubtful of this new relationship, in fear that it could possibly turn out the same as their previous relationship. therefore, a little bit of patience, reassurance and a lot of you from you would help a lot in this relationship! it is important to show that you're different from the previous person and it's also really important to understand her needs as well.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2019 12:37am
You should move on, or try someone else...If it was hard to date the person that cheated on you, sure it might be hard again...But don't worry, there are many people in your life to love. You have to at least try with love...And go with the flow of your life, even though it is very risky, worrisome, and scary. Dating someone is hard enough, but actually falling in love with someone is very beautiful. If your looking for someone try not to get too attached before they break your heart...Or you break there heart not wanting to, but you know you have to give them up...
Anonymous
January 8th, 2020 3:55pm
You should listen to him/her and get more information as possible. You should make him/her feel that you are here to listen and is willing to help him/her. You should not bring that topic often. Help him/her by talking out of that situation. Often communicate with them. Try to make them feel ease by saying things like that you are there for them and whatever they are feeling is ok and normal.
There's nothing wrong with you. If he/ she cannot accept you for what you are then getting rid of them is the best choice. You will not be regretting larer on.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2020 7:30pm
Just act like your would do in a normal relationship, but just accept the fact that it might they them a little longer to completely trust you. And show them that that's okay. It takes a lot of courage for them to put their trust into someone after being cheated on and that process takes time. Don't try to focus too much on trust by being like: "Want to check my messages?", since it is a natural process that slowly builds itself up. If they want to talk about their feelings, let them. But if they don't want to, don't force them, since they probably want to move on.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2020 2:46am
It is important that you love and respect anyone in all relationships. In this case, you want to be very careful and pay attention to what make that person comfortable and be cautious as it may be frustrating for them. The ultimate goal is to love them no matter what, support one another, stay faithful through the good times and bad, and respect is key to the relationship. Listen and talk to your partner as it is crucial in a relationship to communicate what is working and what is not as you always want to be working and continuing on.
It's always tough to have a partner who has been cheated on in his or her past. Partly because it's confusing for you as to why your partner seems distant or wary at times. Partly because your partner is afraid that he or she will be cheated on again. Make sure your partner understands that you're there for them. That you will not cheat on them. If your partner is cautious, that's understandable. Build trust with him/her slowly. Allow your partner to understand that you're there for them. Don't worry. Take a deep breath. Trust yourself, and you'll be fine :)
Being cheated on sucks, it destroys the element of trust, and makes it much harder to trust one's partner.
However, if one is dating a partner who has been cheated on, One must understand that there will be turbulence due to trust issues and that is not due to themselves, rather the experience of their partner.
Expressions of trust where one wordlessly communicates the value of their partner, works wonders in the long run.
It should also be noted that communication is key. If One feels like the relationship is turbulent, it doesn't hurt to open up a dialog with their partner.
One of the key factors to a healthy relationship is good communication. It sorts out a lot of unnecessary issues in the long run.
It's going to be hard at first but it's worth it. They are going to have doubts, they are going to have insecurities. They always be needing reassurance and you will have to be patient with them. You are going to need a lot of patience. Always remind them of how much they mean to you. Communication is very important as well. You have to learn their love language so they can receive the message you're trying imply. Listen to their problems, be their rock. At the same time, don't forget to check on yourself. Make sure you're okay with it and it's not draining you.
If you were dating someone who has been cheated on you should be patient with them. Patience is a virtue and someone that has a lack of trust in others needs it the most. Someone that has been cheated on and does not believe that they are worth it or t if you were dating someone who has been cheated on you should be patient with them. Patience is a virtue and someone that has a lack of trust in others needs it the most. Someone that has been cheated on does not believe that they are worth it or they are in fear of what they did wrong when in reality they did nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with them.
Dating someone who has been cheated on can be challenging. The person might have certain issues that do not allow them to trust you fully and completely, or they can have a different attachment style from yours, or anything else that has been caused by the terrible experience of being cheated on. What is very important is that you try understanding those the best that you can, and offering some compassion. Make sure that they are aware of your emotional support and are able to see that those experiences aren’t something that will be repeated. Healthy communication is important as well.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2020 8:27pm
First things first, do not feel you have to panic about this. Everybody comes into a relationship or friendship with past experiences, both good and bad. In this case, they've been cheated on which stinks and can often carry over into other relationships. Trust is something that might be hard to get at first, especially because some people who been cheated develop mistrust of others, especially in romantic relationships. Show them they can trust you. If you say you are going to meet them someplace, do that. If you two plan a call, follow through. Communicating openly and honestly goes a long way to building that trust between you and them. Don't feel you have to bring up that they have been cheated on often, they probably want to forget it and move from it.
Anonymous
May 14th, 2020 6:59pm
Since he/she was cheated once they might be portrayed cynic but in fact they're much broken and emotionally unstable . At times they might sound really matured but don't get to that conclusion just in the beginning , because that maturity might just be a disturbance in their perspective and might not stay long which would disappoint you later. Well in the end it's like any other normal relationship, give time and take time don't be in a hurry. They might be too suspicious (mostly) but don't take them wrong just try to talk out things. Don't take decisions with assumptions nor allow him to do the same. Not every person who got cheated wouldn't end up suspicious , few might turn up really good ( if so try not to lose them)
Talk to them about. Confront the issue head-on. Acknowledge that it may take more time for them to trust you than they would have if they hadn't been through that experience. Trust is like a jar of marbles. It's made of a collection of acts that build up and become stronger. However, continue to establish and assert boundaries. When someone is cheated on, they may become suspicious and want to read your texts, snoop through your phone, know where you are every second of every day. Know that you still have the right to privacy, and their insecurity is not more important than that right.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2020 10:57pm
I think it is important to understand that your partner's past relationships will shape their perspective and outlook on your current relationship. Since your partner was cheated on, it may impact their view on trust. It is helpful to be accepting and listen to what they have to say. Your partner's trust had been broken at one point, so it may take them more time to gain trust with others. Be supportive, and be sure to prioritize communication between each other. Communication is a platform for building trust and honesty with others and with partners. Everyone is different, and everyone handles being cheated on differently, but having an open mind and validating their past feelings can be helpful.
learn how to have patience, I don't know if they have properly healed from that situation but learn to have patience with them. it's truly a horrible experience knowing someone you trusted to do something like that. From what I have experienced, give them lots of reassurance, look into the 7 types of love languages, and look into that and have consistent ones. also, unexpected reassurance is the best because they have their fears that they might be not good enough to be loved which is not the case. I hope everything goes well and wish you both the best. give it time and lots of patience and love
Just take the relationship slow, don't try and move any faster than they are comfortable with, validate their experience and show empathy. Just be supportive overall and always try to validate the way they feel. The best way to earn their trust is with trustworthy behavior over an extended period of time. Be patient and understanding. The more empathy and patience you show towards your partner, the better. Hopefully over an extended period of time, they will trust you more and more and they will open up to you more and more. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
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