I'm trying to handle a break up. Ex-Boyfriend needs to change to be a happier person in himself. He says he loves me but has to change for us to work. I'm heartbroken and feel so unhappy. What do I do?

if he loves you maybe it's not a break up but only a separation, like 'needing time' to settle things up and make up your mind. break ups happen though too, there can be some kind of a burn out because we're evolutionary and growing up or developing ourselves we can get stuck unfortunately. so staying could make your relationship worse with time and what would be a point to stuck and be unhappy, it would take faking or ignoring your needs which also turns out to be worse. though sometimes it can be either about accepting some of boundaries.

I may not direct you what to do but I can explain my opinion and after that you yourself can make the decision by your judgement of what will be the right thing to do. Now that its broken up there's nothing much you can do by putting efforts. I understand you are heartbroken and you have every right to be sad. But if we look at the reason of your breakup , I personally think ,if a person wants to change and grow it'll happen despite the absence or presence of a particular person in his life. There's no end of improving oneself and discovering a new version of oneself every moment. Everything , even human beings are full of wonders and there is no limit of exploring yourself every day. One can embrace one self and change for a better version while being in the relationships that the person cares about , it can be a relationship of friendship , parental or love. Yes this is true that until you love yourself enough to think yourself as an individual enough for your own happiness , you can never give that kind of love or happiness to someone else . So if one is still not there to value oneself he can always ask for sometime from the partner to change himself and the partner can always support him throughout the healing process. Thats what we call love. Things can be sorted in a number of such ways . But breakup is never a solution. So now that , its exactly what your ex bf wanted you had no option but to let him go , because you can't force one to stay . The more you do that the more the person slips away. "What you can do is make sure they know you loved them and that you would have supported them no matter what". Now that the breakup has happened and you are heartbroken , remember , its not the end. There's so much to life than just this. And if you are talking about finding Love, trust me , its not in your hands . Its all destiny. If your ex is meant for you , he'll come back to you one way or the other eventually. But if thats not the case no matter how much efforts you put , its not going to work if it's not there in your destiny. So there's nothing you can do really. So always remember , Whats meant for you will always find its way. All the love you once gave to someone will always find its way back to you ❤️