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is it a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you?

309 Answers
Last Updated: 04/22/2020 at 11:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
January 11th, 2019 8:29pm
No it’s not a bad thing if you still love someone after a breakup people will still feel something to you aswell if you broke up with them don’t worry you will forget about it and you will stop thinking about that but for now you might still have feelings for that person that left you and if you would like you could always tell that person maybe they still have feelings for you too and if they don’t then it’s ok then you have to keep going and always keep your head up high and forget about all the bad things in life ❤️
February 8th, 2019 1:33am
It does not make you a horrible person, it just doesn't help much to heal your wound. It is natural to maintain feelings for someone even after they have broken your heart, so no one should feel bad about it. However, no one in the world deserves to feel like that! It is a horrible feeling and it is impossible to move on from the pain if one keeps dwelling on the past. Best way to get over someone is to keep reminding yourself that you are a superstar, and you do not need that person in your life. They left... their loss!
February 8th, 2019 7:11pm
Depends. How the other person and what your goals, needs and wants are? It is very difficult to live life though. In my own experience, I think soonest you move on, easier is the life. Move on doesn't necessarily means finding someone new, but able to let go from past. Mindfulness and yoga practices are based on living in present moment. I guess, continue loving is kind of living in past. So it is better to let go of past and embrace present moment. If more details of the relationship is available, I might be able to say more.
February 14th, 2019 11:45pm
Of course not love. You can still long for them and want them back with all of your being and be in love with them but it doesn't mean they're coming back. They might, but it's best to let go when this happens. It's a grueling and painful experience but it's what must be done. I had a guy who I fell in love with- I really fell in love with him, he was my first love- pick my best friend over me, and it devastated me. I became depressed and I couldn't function and it was a bad time for me. I was still madly in love with him but I was also angry. I was angry at myself for "not being good enough" and mad at my best friend for being what he wanted. But over time I learned to not just forgive him but to let go of him. He wasn't the one and he couldn't realize what a wonderful person I was. But it was hard and took a long time to get over him. I just hope the process is easier for you and you don't have to go through the emotional and mental trials I went through after he left.
March 21st, 2019 3:20am
Now, I wouldn't say that it's bad. If I told a member that it was bad to feel this way, that would be counterproductive. They might think that they are a failure for not being able to move on. However, I'm not encouraging staying in love with someone that left you. It does no good to be stuck on someone for way too long and miss other opportunities that may arise. What I'm trying to say is that it's normal. Validate their feelings but remind the member that doing this won't bring back the loved one. Ask forward-looking questions, rather than focusing on their ex.
March 23rd, 2019 2:23am
It is completely normal to stay in love with someone who has left you. It shows that you still care for that significant other. I have recently went through a breakup and I still love her and there is nothing wrong with that. It means that I still care for her and I will always be there for her. Love is never ever wrong, it is a true gift to have the opportunity to love someone that has been there for you and who has been a big part of your life. So to answer your question again. No, it is not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who has left you.
April 18th, 2019 5:57pm
Not at all, it simply means that you still care for them even though they decided not to care for you anymore. That is nothing to be ashamed of, at all, and you should always treasure feelings like that. And besides, knowing that you still care just makes you a better person over all. To be in love does not always mean being in a relationship. It usually means finding someone you care about, and want to get to know more than you already do. So no, it is definitely not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you. Just be sure it doesn't hurt yourself in the process :)
April 20th, 2019 1:08am
Loving someone is never a bad thing. Loving someone is your choice, being loved by them is their choice. If you truly love someone, you won't get hurt even if the person doesn't love you back. It doesn't matter whether the person is with you or not. People don't get hurt because of love, people get hurt because of expectations. Sometimes we get lost in this materialistic world and we forget the beauty of this world. Sometimes we forget how to love and we start complaining when things don't go the way we want. We always have a choice.
May 24th, 2019 8:12am
It honestly isn't a bad thing at all! Love is a complex human emotion. Rejection is a societal stigma. Allowing yourself to love someone even after they've left you speaks very highly about your attitude towards love and towards your ability to manage your emotions. Remember, however, that you can stay in love with someone who left you. But it is harassment if you cross the line and try to contact them after they've explicitly "left you". Allow yourself to embrace the complexity of love rather than run away from it. Give yourself the freedom to know what it feels like to love unconditionally without expecting anything back in return.
June 15th, 2019 5:13pm
Absolutely not!! It is completely normal for someone to still love a person whom had left them. Although it is not the most convenient at all times, its still completely normal and I would not worry too much about it if I was you. You'll forget about them soon enough, but until then you should talk time to treat yourself!! You deserve it!! If they left you then they probably don't see how great you are and you deserve much better!! I hope the next person you get with teats you like Royalty. Wish you the best and have a wonderful day!!
July 4th, 2019 9:13am
Generally, not, unless they are unhealthy for you and this feeling is affecting your way of living negatively. Keep the people that support and encourage you, for your best self, around. It's ok to be in love still, but if they are not ready for you, give them time to see what they have been missing and give yourself time to manage these emotions you may be feeling. Unfortunately, it may not be destined to be for you two to stay together, but that's an opportunity for you to find the one that will make and have you happy.
August 16th, 2019 1:58pm
It can have a negative affect on your mental health definitely. Rarely it's a good idea to live in the past. Nothing will ever be the same forever, which can be both a good or bad thing, if you want to relieve memories with someone you used to be with. I've struggled a lot with missing some i really enjoyed spending time with, which had a negative on my mental health. It is very understandable that healing takes time, and it should, but for too long for your own good. Whenever one door closes, another one opens. If you stay staring at the closed door, you won't be able to see the new door and opportunity that's opened!
August 18th, 2019 6:36pm
Love is an attribute we are enjoined to possess as humans and people's behavior towards is should not deter us from doing what is right or being the best person we can be. We own, as humans, the rights to our emotions and actions and therefore give no one the right, to make us into who we are not. The person left you but that does not change what you feel for the person or who you are. Only time can tell how long the love will remain still. So, staying in love with a person who left you is not a bad thing.
September 13th, 2019 12:38am
Yes, it’s not healthy. They made their decision. But that doesn’t mean that their decision defines you. And it doesn’t mean no one else can love you. You are your own person who is going through your own life. You just haven’t met the one who will love you forever yet. The person who left you does not define you. They do not get to decide how you will go though your life. You have to let them go. You will love again. You will continue to live. It just may hurt for a while. But put a smile on your face and keep pushing forward
September 13th, 2019 5:47pm
I think “bad” is a harsh word to use, and entirely subjective. I would say- it’s a natural thing to still have feelings for someone you love even if they left you. I would say, in their absence, that love could spill into resentment or heartache, and other negative emotions, depending on your specific circumstance and personality style. ♡ Breakups with someone you love are never easy for anyone who can feel emotion. What you’re feeling is natural and it’s okay to acknowledge how you feel and sit with it a while. Breakups are a different kind of loss, there is a grieving process just the same. Reach out for support when you need it, we all do at one point or another. ♡ Best wishes love.
September 15th, 2019 8:23am
No. it's not like you can dictate your feelings and tell to it to stop loving that someone. Although you have a full control of your emotions and feelings. but whatever you are feeling at the moment, let it be. The more you resist the more it will persists. don't go against your feelings.
September 18th, 2019 6:04pm
It is totally okay to feel like you still love someone who left you. Emotions as intense as love, betrayal, and heartbreak are often difficult to let go of, and you are going to need some time to process through the breakup. As much as it may feel like the pain is never going to end, I promise that it will. As you heal, you will begin to let go of the attachment to that person and you will find that your feelings will begin to fade gradually. It's okay to feel like you still love your ex right now, but just know that that won't last forever. Better days are on the horizon :)
October 2nd, 2019 6:37pm
Love is a feeling that is not easily turned off. I don't think good or bad is the question because feelings are what they are. It is essential to protect and nurture oneself, regardless of who is in our lives. People can leave for many reasons, and it may be a positive reason and a positive outcome even when the situation is painful. The ability to love is precious, and we humans would not be the same without this ability. As painful as it is to have people move out of our lives, we gain wisdom and insight from the event to help us in the future.
October 17th, 2019 8:23pm
I would have to say that it is bad but also not. First, it is a bad thing to stay in love with someone who has left you because you may still feel that you guys need to be together but the other no longer wants to be with you. This can mess up your emotions and can be unhealthy for you to be continued feeling sad or mad that you guys are no longer together. On the other hand it can be a good thing to still feel emotions for someone who has left you because it can be more worse and heart breaking to just leave off on bad terms. Instead you guys can make a healthy good idea and agree that you guys need to move on but still would love to be friends. By doing this it allows you not to feel down or horrible that you two are no longer together as a couple but still have respect as friends.
October 18th, 2019 2:18am
My answer is no. I think it is perfectly normal and okay to still love someone who left you. In fact, I think it’s normal to love someone who you leave. It’s going to be hard, I know that for a fact, but I promise you that eventually, you’ll look back on this and realize it was good for you because they shouldn’t be thinking about leaving you. It’s probably also hard for them, too. Just remember, you’re never alone and there’s always someone to talk to. You’ll get through this, I promise. I hope you feel better :)
October 18th, 2019 6:21am
i don't think it's a bad thing to stay in love with someone who've left you! especially if this person left really suddenly. after all love is a feeling and human nature. it's just unhealthy to ourselves to hold onto to someone who've left you, knowing that they'll never come back to us again. you have to consider about your own well-being as well and try to meet new people and perhaps love someone who shares the same feeling as you! when that time comes, you'd realise this will be so much better for your mental health. all the best! please engage a listener when needed.
November 6th, 2019 4:13am
It depends. Did the other person move on or do they just need a break? If someone leaves you, they are unhappy with your behaviour. If you can convince them things will be different this time around, they might come back. I would say if you don't want to apologize don't bother. If you do, it might work and it might not. You will have to decide if you want the relationship back and if it's worth it or not. If you think that's the case, you will have to take a big risk with no guarantees. Sitting around waiting is a waste of your time. Try to get them back or move on yourself.
November 13th, 2019 3:44pm
It is a normal thing for feelings to remain for someone even when the relationship is over. These feelings should dissipate over time however that doesn't make the process any easier. If the person in question leaves you for no reason, it is important for you to question why you still harbour any feelings towards this person at all. You must surround yourself with people who can have a positive impact on your life in order to separate yourself from the problem and let yourself get over it. This is easier said than done, however, since any thought pertaining to the person in question could trigger those feelings again.
December 27th, 2019 10:01am
No, its not something you can really help. Love is a chemical that can stay in your brain for a while. However it's bad to hold on for a while. Try to learn and move on, give yourself time but don't hurt yourself in the process. Try doing things like interacting with your friends more. Talk to them about how you're feeling. If you are stable with your parents, try talking to them. A lot of people suggest that you cut off the person you love, and while I don't think that's the best move, it's generally a good idea to at least take a break from talking to them. Keep talks short. It'll take time but you can get there.
January 2nd, 2020 7:22pm
It is not bad at all to stay in love with someone who has left you. We are human beings after all. We are made to love each other. It's natural. It depends on the person if they fall in love easily or get out of it easily but to stay in love is the hardest. It is not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who has left you but it is a sad thing. My mother always says "let go of people. If they come back, they are yours. If they don't come back then they were never yours." That someone has left. Life still goes on and you should too,honey. It is a process to get over a person. It takes time so don't rush. Let it happen naturally.
January 9th, 2020 6:23am
It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you should definitely try to move on. Staying in love with them means you care about them deeply, but in the long run it will not be beneficial to you to keep being in love with them. It may take time to get over them, but you should learn from the experiences you had with them and use them to become the best version of yourself you could possibly be. There will always be someone out there who loves you and respects you and appreciates you, and if it isn’t this particular person, then at least you know.
January 22nd, 2020 10:30pm
It's not a bad thing at all, even though that person left you there was a relationship and there were feelings involved so it's completely normal to still be in love with them. In some cases the feelings you have for that person can remain for months, so it can take a while to move on. Eventually you will find another person that you will love, but for now try to practice self-care and doing things that you like. Also hanging out with friends and having a good support system can help a lot too. Good luck and take care!
February 20th, 2020 4:11am
I don't think it is a bad thing, it actually happen to me the bad thing is if you keep in contact with that persona and they only contact you for interest or if they feel lonely, but otherwise I think is okay, cause as human we can not just unlove someone just because they left us, so we just have to be careful to not let the feeling of being in love to stop loving ourselves or know how much we deserve. As long as you don't let yourself get stuck in a toxic relationship with someone has left you is okay to still have feelings for them
March 1st, 2020 2:44am
Although it doesn't make you a bad person, it's hard to practice self love and good mental wellness if you love someone who hurt you. Looking for someone who will be more loyal and committed to you will be good for you, and yes, I understand, love isn't something you can choose and a lot of the time the feelings can be really complicated. If you feel like the person being an important figure in your life would bring more harm than good, then look after yourself and figure out what you need and want. It's totally okay to just focus on yourself
March 14th, 2020 8:11pm
Grieving is a word most often associated with the death of a loved one, but we also grieve the people we love who haven't died, but are no longer a part of our life; of course it isn't a bad thing. There is no universal experience, but I can understand this circumstance in my own experience. Give yourself the space you need to heal for as long as it is necessary, but begin to slowly refocus attention and energy to other parts of life. Spend time doing things that you love when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed. And as always, contact a counselor or therapist if you can if you feel too overwhelmed.