Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

is it a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you?

309 Answers
Last Updated: 04/22/2020 at 11:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Alexa101
July 6th, 2016 2:30am
No not at all, I know it is hard to leave somebody you love. I've felt the same thing. It's not easy.
Jagger614
July 6th, 2016 10:06am
Yes and no. It depends on the person and the situation. If staying in love after they left you doesn't hinder your day to day life, then it's alright. However, if it is, then its best to move on. There might be someone out there far better for you and opens your eyes.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2016 10:32pm
No it's not a bad thing at all, in fact it's pretty normal. It's happened to all of us at least once or twice. It's just how we handle it that makes a difference.
HopieRemi
July 7th, 2016 7:08am
No, it is not a bad thing at all. You're only human. You can't control who you love. Sometimes your heart takes a while to move on even when the brain knows they're no good.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 4:37am
It's not bad, it's completely normal. It just shows how much you care. A nice person like you will find peace in time, never say never.
RobVL
July 9th, 2016 3:37pm
Nope. It is honorable to still have feelings for someone you used to be with. It becomes a bit of a concern when the feelings or emotions become obsessive though. In this case you might need to practice moving your mind into another frame, a frame that is healthy and allows you to grow.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 9:51pm
For me it's not a bar thing. You need to be positive because that means you are loyal. Otherwise I recommend you that if you really love that person try to get him/her back. If you really can't do anything, you should move on, it could be really hard but eventually you will feel good :)
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 2:45am
I guess it just depends on the situation. Do you still love someone who left you that wasn't the best person? I think that situation is unhealthy. Do you still love someone who left you that maybe passed away? Yes, I think you should.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 6:59am
It's perfectly fine. We all love and miss the ones who leave. Even if they were annoying and such, we miss the things they do, even the small things. If they are not coming back, sadly, you might have to get over them sooner or later. I know it's hard, but it'll be best.
cruellastar
July 11th, 2016 1:44am
It is not a bad thing. But ofcourse, you need to accept things and move forward.
heartfulSmiles35
July 13th, 2016 8:54pm
No, it's not a bad thing. It might be hard and painfull, but loving someone, whoever they are or whatever they did, is one of the purest things in this world, I believe.
Saraf
July 14th, 2016 10:00am
Love is never a bad thing. Love is actually heavenly beautiful when you are with someone who reciprocates the feeling. But staying in love with someone who left you, only means they don't reciprocate the feeling. And in that case, loving can hurt. :( You don't want to keep hurting yourself that way, since the feeling is not returned or no chance of being returned, whatsoever.
EveryInkspots
July 14th, 2016 5:56pm
Over time they say love heals all wounds and sometimes we feel that they have carried a piece of our hearts with them. It is common to feel this way and no it is not bad. But over time it will get better and you will move on.
Sierra2018
July 15th, 2016 4:50am
No, loving someone whether they have left you or not is an emotion that once it is fully established it is difficult to remove. You have essentially built a strong connection with someone which isn't going to break easily, regardless on if the individual left you.
Pandette
July 15th, 2016 6:13am
I do not believe it is a bad thing to stay in love with someone who has left. You grow to care for that person and love them endlessly and even though it may have hurt when they left, it doesn't mean that they were always a bad person. For instance, my ex of three years left on a trip and came back married. I can't hate him because we had a beautiful 3 years together. He will always have a place in my heart because he also helped me through my mental health related issues. We move on, but the love can stay for a lifetime.
mayodibari9
July 15th, 2016 2:46pm
It's not bad, I guess it happens to all of us at some point. First of all, moving on it's difficult but completely doable when you realize that you happiness and peace is more important.
simplisticmoon
July 16th, 2016 4:04am
No, that is part of being human and is completely normal. Sometimes it takes a while to move on, but you will eventually.
Anonymous
July 17th, 2016 10:28am
No. Love is an inevitable feeling, and one should not be sorry for what they feel. However, it is important to consider that in the pong run it might break you. Therefore one should try to let go. You would need time to let go off someone. You cannot just stop loving someone. It takes time to heal.
alvi
July 17th, 2016 1:45pm
life should go on. if someone who doesn't love you anymore then it only hurts you if you expect to get that love back. coz that ain't gonna happen. so waiting for someone for so long definitely is not a good idea
usefulLight67
July 17th, 2016 5:29pm
Its because it will do you harm more than doing you any good .. Try to not fall in love and make sure you avoid been let down by disappointments
peacefulllife
July 20th, 2016 12:40pm
Its not bad to love someone unless the feeling is harming and hampering you.. We leave some people for our priorities and some leave us for theirs...
Kasscjewel1
July 24th, 2016 3:14am
No just as long as you make sure they don't hurt you again . Do this by watching what you say to them and when you are hanging out with them
aturquoisezebra
July 29th, 2016 9:39am
It's such a subjective question, but I think the common thread would be this - it is a bad thing if it is hurting you, and no longer helping you grow. Understandably, it would take time for you to move on from this relationship; after all, you weren't the one who made the decision to end it, therefore it might feel untimely. But I think you should ask yourself whether you want yourself to stagnate in this period of your life, rather than go out and seek things or people that will be committed to loving you back. I don't think by default it is a 'bad thing', but I think there can be better scenarios for your future than remaining in love with someone who left you. Perhaps try to accept and respect the decision that this person has made, but also love yourself enough to get up and find an outlet where you can gain as much as you give.
Duaffy26
July 30th, 2016 7:37pm
Love is not something we decide., love is a feeling, and feelings are something that cannot be explained or justified. If that special person left, it will be heartbreaking. I suggest to cry until you can't anymore. Crying is a healthy way to express your pain and it contributes to think more clearly afterwards. Don't lie to yourself, don't hide like a fugitive, but don't let an emotion take over your life. Life is full of emotions, love is just one of them. And there's a great factor called time: time is the best cure when it comes to fading emotions. Give yourself the time you need, but never stop living your life, because you deserve to feel happy, excited, passionate, thrilled, to laugh and so many other things.
Lillyshelp
July 31st, 2016 1:21pm
To me, it was always natural to stay in love with someone who left me. I mean, you have an emotional connection with someone, just because they left you, it doesn't mean that you immediately fall out of love. It just simply doesn't work like that. So I think, that staying in love with someone who left you shortly after the break-up is completely natural, although loving the person even years after it might be triggering.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2016 2:25pm
Of course not! You can still have feelings for someone who doesn't have feelings for you, even if they're a bad person or did bad things.
BasilAngel
July 31st, 2016 3:46pm
It's a normal thing, but a toxic thing. Someone who left you caused you pain, and you still care so much about them. It sounds like you are caring more about them than yourself. You are stuck with you until the day you die, so you should be your best friend. Someone hurt your best friend, is it bad to like them? Well, it's not good. Try and see yourself as the person who needs to be cared about first right now.
holdonloveneverends
July 31st, 2016 4:52pm
It is not necessarily a bad thing but it would help not to stay obsessed over that person and try to move on and meet new people.
Sweetheart280
July 31st, 2016 10:10pm
Yes and no..its not bad to still love that person..but when it affects your future relationship..thats bad
Anonymous
August 1st, 2016 7:36am
It definitely isn't a bad thing. Once you truly love someone, you'll never fully stop loving them. Just because someone left you, it doesn't mean you have to hate them completely and say you don't love them. It's normal.