is it a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you?
310 Answers
Last Updated: 11/08/2021 at 8:02pm
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Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 18th, 2019 6:36pm
Love is an attribute we are enjoined to possess as humans and people's behavior towards is should not deter us from doing what is right or being the best person we can be. We own, as humans, the rights to our emotions and actions and therefore give no one the right, to make us into who we are not.
The person left you but that does not change what you feel for the person or who you are.
Only time can tell how long the love will remain still.
So, staying in love with a person who left you is not a bad thing.
Anonymous
August 16th, 2019 1:58pm
It can have a negative affect on your mental health definitely. Rarely it's a good idea to live in the past. Nothing will ever be the same forever, which can be both a good or bad thing, if you want to relieve memories with someone you used to be with. I've struggled a lot with missing some i really enjoyed spending time with, which had a negative on my mental health. It is very understandable that healing takes time, and it should, but for too long for your own good. Whenever one door closes, another one opens. If you stay staring at the closed door, you won't be able to see the new door and opportunity that's opened!
Generally, not, unless they are unhealthy for you and this feeling is affecting your way of living negatively. Keep the people that support and encourage you, for your best self, around. It's ok to be in love still, but if they are not ready for you, give them time to see what they have been missing and give yourself time to manage these emotions you may be feeling. Unfortunately, it may not be destined to be for you two to stay together, but that's an opportunity for you to find the one that will make and have you happy.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2019 5:13pm
Absolutely not!! It is completely normal for someone to still love a person whom had left them. Although it is not the most convenient at all times, its still completely normal and I would not worry too much about it if I was you. You'll forget about them soon enough, but until then you should talk time to treat yourself!! You deserve it!! If they left you then they probably don't see how great you are and you deserve much better!! I hope the next person you get with teats you like Royalty. Wish you the best and have a wonderful day!!
It honestly isn't a bad thing at all! Love is a complex human emotion. Rejection is a societal stigma.
Allowing yourself to love someone even after they've left you speaks very highly about your attitude towards love and towards your ability to manage your emotions.
Remember, however, that you can stay in love with someone who left you. But it is harassment if you cross the line and try to contact them after they've explicitly "left you".
Allow yourself to embrace the complexity of love rather than run away from it. Give yourself the freedom to know what it feels like to love unconditionally without expecting anything back in return.
Anonymous
April 20th, 2019 1:08am
Loving someone is never a bad thing.
Loving someone is your choice,
being loved by them is their choice.
If you truly love someone, you won't get hurt even if the person doesn't love you back. It doesn't matter whether the person is with you or not. People don't get hurt because of love, people get hurt because of expectations. Sometimes we get lost in this materialistic world and we forget the beauty of this world. Sometimes we forget how to love and we start complaining when things don't go the way we want.
We always have a choice.
Not at all, it simply means that you still care for them even though they decided not to care for you anymore. That is nothing to be ashamed of, at all, and you should always treasure feelings like that. And besides, knowing that you still care just makes you a better person over all. To be in love does not always mean being in a relationship. It usually means finding someone you care about, and want to get to know more than you already do. So no, it is definitely not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you. Just be sure it doesn't hurt yourself in the process :)
It is completely normal to stay in love with someone who has left you. It shows that you still care for that significant other. I have recently went through a breakup and I still love her and there is nothing wrong with that. It means that I still care for her and I will always be there for her. Love is never ever wrong, it is a true gift to have the opportunity to love someone that has been there for you and who has been a big part of your life. So to answer your question again. No, it is not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who has left you.
Now, I wouldn't say that it's bad. If I told a member that it was bad to feel this way, that would be counterproductive. They might think that they are a failure for not being able to move on. However, I'm not encouraging staying in love with someone that left you. It does no good to be stuck on someone for way too long and miss other opportunities that may arise. What I'm trying to say is that it's normal. Validate their feelings but remind the member that doing this won't bring back the loved one. Ask forward-looking questions, rather than focusing on their ex.
Love is a funny thing. Perhaps sometimes you love someone so much and so unconditionally that it feels like you can never stop loving them. For that I'd say it is perfectly normal to still be in love with someone you loved so deeply even after they left. Moreover, I'd say that although you may still feel so attached to this person, these feelings are only a sign of the person you are. For one to love another even after they've split is a powerful emotion. Make sure you always remember that you will find love again, and that this isn't the end.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 6:25pm
No, you can still love someone, love is not selfish, but never let it hurt you again for the same reason, when its gone, its gone. Never accept someone to come again and leave you again.
Yes as i learned the hard way when the love is gone it is best to work on yourself and move on self respect .
Yes its a bad thing to stay in love with the person who left you. The hurt is still real and it will be defeating the part of healing. Breaking up with someone is hard but if you keep on being inlove you denying to yourself that its over, you denying happiness and denying yourself to move on
Loving someone can be hard to get over if they leave you and you don't feel the same way. It is not necessarily a bad thing to love someone that left you. However, it does make it more difficult to move on and find someone new.
No, not necessarily. Love doesn't just fade away overnight. It takes time to fall out of love with someone and even then it never completely disappears entirely. At least that is my belief.
It's normal to still have romantic feelings for someone that has left you, but it is frustrating. You will be able to move on eventually.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 11:15pm
It isn’t a bad thing because you cannot control it but it should not make you feel sad or not valued. You should be working more on yourself and what you love to do . The feeling of love can’t be controlled but when it’s toxic for you , the mind should be controlled:) and the heart follows when the mindset is right .
I won't say it's a bad thing. It's just something human, i think. So, yes, it can be unhealthy for you, but hey, you can't control your feelings. They'll be gone when it'll be the good moment.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2018 12:39pm
Nope this is a normal human thing . You can’t just loose feelings that quickly , it is hard , but you will get through it
it isnt bad but it is bad for yourself because you'll beat yourself up for it, it sucks how the heart wants what it wants but you'll move on slowly
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2018 2:31pm
You should never feel guilty about loving someone who left you. I had a girlfriend who left me to experiment romantically and I still love her, though time has passed, but eventual,y the heart moves on.
Not at all. You can’t just switch off your feelings but if the person shows no interest then why should you waste your energy on them? Try moving on! Whether it’s with another person or a hobby. Just don’t sit reliving the past .
It's normal to have lingering feelings for someone you loved and was important in your life, even if they're no longer a part of it. You can treasure the memories you had with them, remember them fondly, and wish them the best, all while moving on, at your own pace. You deserve a loving relationship with someone who will love and want you just as much as you do them. Allow yourself to accept, heal, and visualize your life without them in it, just a little bit every day. It may seem hard at first, but it'll become easier with time.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2018 1:15pm
no it is completely normal often we want the ones we don't have anymore. never feel as though you are alone there are thousands just like you in the same position
It isn’t bad at all. But what is important is that you put yourself first after the break up so that you can learn to love yourself more.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2018 5:52pm
There's this common misconception that you stop loving someone after the relationship ends; it's not necessarily the case. What's unhealthy is when you obsess over what's happening in their life, when you neglect your own life, when you stalk them, when you find yourself thinking that you can bring them back "if only," when you start compromising things you didn't before just so "things will be the same again". All sorts of negative emotions like regret may come up, but objectively look at how it came to that point. If that doesn't help or if it makes you obsess over them, spend more time with other people, doing things and going to places that aren't likely to remind you of the person you fell in love with.
You should never feel like it’s a bad thing to love someone. Sure, people might hurt us, they might leave ya heart broken, they might treat us horribly, and you honestly might never see them again. But feelings can’t just be dropped like that, love is love and the part that makes a person so strong and recognising that a person hurt you, and that you’re better off without them, even whilst still being completely in love. From my experience, it took me a year to get over someone I loved and there was nothing wrong with that. Ive moved onto better and there will always be that small spot in my heart for that person.
It is not a bad thing, but it is not a good thing. You want to move on if they left and it all really depends on the situation. That person can stay in your heart for the rest of your life or you could find someone else who you love just as much or more. It really depends on who they were and how they left but eventually you will move on or they will stay in your heart forever. It is really up to you if it is a bad thing or not sometimes its a good thing and you learn from it.
its not bad. its natural. i was torn after a boyfriend broke up with me and I still loved and cared for him as a person. I was hurt that he left me, but that didn't change the way that i felt towards him. Even though were not together anymore, I still hope that he is doing well and that he is living his best life. Everything happens for a reason. We don't always immediately get over people who left us. It is natural for people to still have feelings after someone leaves them because humans emotionally attach themselves to people that they love and care for. You are not alone.
I guess it's not a matter of a bad thing or good thing if you're still in love with a person who left you. I mean we're primarily talking about your feelings if you're still in love with that person, and feelings are not bad because it is a part of you. It is only a part of you and doesn't define you. But let me tell you that there is a difference between feelings and actions. When you decide to stay in love with that person, it is a matter of your choice. So to sum up, if you still feel that you're in love, it's okay to be true to our feelings. If you decide to stay in love, it's okay too, just keep in mind to take responsibility to your actions. :)
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