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is it a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you?

309 Answers
Last Updated: 04/22/2020 at 11:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 2:11am
Is not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you the bad thing is you remain in the past and still there and you miss the chances to be happy
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2018 8:40am
You see a lot of people think that love is this cute romantic beautiful thing. And it is at times. But love can be dark and gruesome and harsh. Sometimes love is like black silk. And with love, you can't control it. So it's 100% perfectly fine to be in love with someone that left you
BukiDuki
February 7th, 2018 1:07am
Of course not, it's completely natural. You have most likely made so many memories together as a couple, so getting over them or moving on won't be easy, so naturally, those feelings will still exist.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 9:58am
no it is not a bad thing you can't control your emotions and what you feel and you shouldn't feel bad for it
Lori92
February 9th, 2018 3:42am
I think that loving someone is a testament to how important that person was to you. It is never wrong to love someone who was once in your life. If someone was really special to you then it is expected that you may always have special feelings towards them. However these feelings can be bad when they cause you to feel depressed and down, and like you cannot move forward with your life. If time passes and you are experiencing anxiety or depression it is important to speak with someone close to you, a friend or family member, or possibly a health professional.
Icanwaitforever
February 9th, 2018 4:22pm
It's bad just because it hurts you. But I can understand you. It's difficult stop loving someone.
ChaiShy18
February 11th, 2018 2:11am
I wish there was a simple yes or no answer I could give for this question. It's always easy to say yes it is bad, but emotions don't work like that. They still love that person, they must be really angry and hurt but there is that love within them. I will say it is bad to quit everything in your life & just wait for that person. That's a big NO. Sometimes, some people leave for whatever reason it might be. If it is because of your behavior or a bad habit then you need to work on it and maybe they will come back to you. But if they left you for someone else, it is not worth loving that person. There is a lot of pain, I know, but that pain is for you to work on yourself and get better. Get yourself busy with work, exercise, learning something new, traveling, so many things in life! Give yourself time! Know your worth cause you are AWESOME :)
Anonymous
February 17th, 2018 12:13pm
It's common, and there's nothing overly detrimental about it. Just make sure that love doesn't limit your social interaction. As long as you have your doors open for someone new, it doesn't matter how you're dealing with the door that's been closed on you.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:33am
Yes and no. Yes, because if you allow your heart to still stay in love with someone who you know never will come back, you will continue to hurt. No, because if there's a shot they will come back, then that love is still there.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 6:04pm
When you fall in love with someone they will always have a piece of your heart that they take with them. It isn't bad - it shows your personal character and there's nothing wrong with loving someone.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 6:18pm
There’s no good or bad. We have ability to love many people during our life time. It’s ok to love as long as you don’t use that excuse to hurt yourself.
ezraleeeee
March 8th, 2018 6:13pm
of course it isn't a bad thing! break ups are really tough, especially if you still have feelings for the person who left. But overtime, with patience and support, you'll be okay! Avoid spending time alone, keeping yourself occupied and busy helps take your mind off the bad thoughts!
Soulartgirl26
March 23rd, 2018 11:41pm
No, it's not necessarily bad. But it's bad for your own mental health. The best you can do is, grieve for the lost love and try to move on,
sheknows1188
March 28th, 2018 1:19pm
Falling in love isn't a bad thing and so does staying in love with someone you have left you as we, humans simply cannot change our feelings towards that special person easily.
glassmarble
April 4th, 2018 11:58am
It's not a bad thing, it's totally natural that you don't just stop loving someone the moment they break up with you. Feelings change slowly over time.
melsue84
April 5th, 2018 3:45am
No, love is never a bad thing. I love everyone, always. I couldn't say that before I forgave and let things go, but now I can say that I see the bigger picture to that four letter word which means something so amazing. Like the Beatles said, "All you need is LOVE!"
vitalev
April 8th, 2018 2:02am
Love is a complicated thing. I believe that it is ok to stay in love with someone who left you as long as you love and care about yourself too.
IamMabs
April 8th, 2018 7:11am
It is really not a bad thing to stay in love with the same person who left you. Love is not something that if you want it out of your life, you can just throw it away. It is a process. So it is perfectly fine that you are still in love with that damn person even he broke your heart. Because the one who's stronger is the one who knows how to love even it hurts.
Mars91
April 12th, 2018 10:30pm
You don’t just fall out of love with someone because it ends, it’s not bad, in time you’ll learn to deal with and make your peace with what happened.
helpforyou123
April 14th, 2018 11:49pm
To whoever wrote this I know how exactly it feels to be still in love with a person who left you and its not bad at all because we gave our all to a person who we thought was the one so please dont feel ashamed that you still love that person and trust me time will heal you ,, I was in love with a guy who left me and I still was in love with him for 2 years but then i got over him,, so you just have to try your best to forget him/her and never ever message them even if they message you and throw away all their pictures and delete their chat.. thats the way I moved on it was really tough at first and i was crying everyday but time really does change and heal you All love..
sereneShoulder53
April 15th, 2018 8:59am
We can't control who we do and don't love, it is unnatural for us to turn off those feelings, many people have gone through the same feelings you do, I can assure you, it is not abnormal
ppigeokppigeok
April 15th, 2018 9:32am
I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but it depends on why that person left you. I can personally admit I'm still in love with my ex, even though we broke up last year due to being far away from each other. I respect the reason he gave to me (LDRs are not easy), but I still have feelings for him, and he admitted that his feelings for me hasn't changed. So, if the reason the person had for leaving is not a “bad reason”, I'd say it's not bad to stay in love.
highlyintuition1
April 15th, 2018 5:56pm
Yes it is. Simply because that person literally has moved on. You should be out enjoying yourself I’m sure they are doing the same thing
Greenpy
April 16th, 2018 11:20pm
Try to move on with your life. It's not easy getting over a relationship - try and see the positive things from it but sadly if they don't feel the same way about you, you can't make someone stay. Remember to treat yourself kindly whilst you get over this though.
Apappleap
April 22nd, 2018 11:31am
Depending on if they love you back, being with somebody who doesnt love you could result in another break up, leaving sadness to carry on throughout.
Oceandreams40
April 25th, 2018 9:40pm
I think that without finding a way to reframe this care for someone to having "love for them" will keep you feeling stuck. We are all worthy and deserving of being loved in return. You deserve to receive love back from someone whom you are giving your love to. By staying in love with someone who's left you you are keeping yourself tied to them.
ItWillAllBeAlright
April 29th, 2018 4:47pm
We ca not really choose whom we stay in love with our not, since it's an emotion we do not control. Love is a weird thing, and to some it might not make sense to still be in love with someone who has left us. However, it might cause you more pain than good. Trying to improve yourself, maybe start in the gym or join a pottery course, can make you think of something else. Then one day, be ready to start meeting someone new. Someone who won't leave you.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2018 12:04pm
If you feel true love in your heart you should chase that feeling, everyone deserves to give love a try.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2018 12:19pm
No its not bad thing, love can be given for anyone , you can love someone but u feel like he/she isn't the right person other words you love the character or love the spirit and it seems perfect but not for u simply they r not the right person for u
adoredBeauty80
May 2nd, 2018 5:33pm
It depends on the circumstance, however i am a true believer in thinking that if you and your partner breakup, there is always a reason behind it. More for you to have time and different stages withing your life to wish you had them back, and wish you missed them. I don't think its a bad thing to stay in love with the person who left you, however there will always be days which are better than others.