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is it a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you?

309 Answers
Last Updated: 04/22/2020 at 11:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 7th, 2018 7:32am
No, it is not a bad thing. You have to accept your feelings, that way you’ll truly know what you want.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2018 10:21am
Sometimes these things happen and you can't help it. If it was a loving, and memorable relationship then you're always going to have love for that person. It's fine in the beginning to love them but once it starts to consume you, you need to think about letting go
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 8:24am
of course! Practical answer is dont punish yourself. You are wasting your emotional energy on someone - not worth it. And relationship are like a rubber band suppose you both are holding it in yo finger but all of sudden he leave it. who will be hurt - you. ofcourse.
Sken24
June 2nd, 2018 1:37am
No it is not a bad thing to stay in love with someone who left you. Our feelings can take a long time to sort through and at times stay with us for life. It depends on our actions and behaviours as to how we treat these feelings.
Monday100
June 2nd, 2018 12:25pm
No, it is not bad to stay in love with someone who left you. Remember love is a wonderful positive thing. There are many kinds of love and love is fluid so it shifts and changes with your circumstances. Always remember to love yourself and to forgive yourself. You can’t expect someone to treat you better than you treat yourself. Live yourself first!
Anonymous
June 7th, 2018 8:32pm
No. It's not really up to you. Just remember that love is a chemical that fades over time, and that emotional pain lasts only a few hours. After that, it's all pain you self-inflict with memories.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 6:42am
No, you can keep loving that person. You may have still loved that person when you split. However, you can not let your love get out of hand. Know that out there someone does love you and that there are always new opertunities.
GlitteryNadia
June 9th, 2018 9:40am
No. Its normal to feel that way. Its really hard to stop loving someone who you once cared. But trust me, eventually, those feelings will fade away slowly.
NoteToMyHeartwarm
June 12th, 2018 7:00am
It's not bad because it's your emotion. Maybe you still have a feelings for him/her. Try to make yourself busy and have fun with your closest friends maybe it will be changew
funkycherry13
June 15th, 2018 10:26pm
It's quite normal for breakups to sometimes be one-sided and one of the partners to still be left with feelings afterwards. This is a very common situation, although steps should be taken to move onto a healthier lifestyle, removing the traces of the partner that left.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2018 10:38pm
Love is not a feelings that just fades away. You may still someone after they are gone or hurted you. But you have to focus on loving yourself fisrt and doind what the best for you.
officerli
June 17th, 2018 4:45pm
I don't know about "bad". It is, however, important to let go of those who apparently don't care for you nearly as much as you care for them. On the other hand, positive emotions towards a person is better than hatred or despisal.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2018 11:14pm
No it’s not a bad thing because we all love someone who left us and it just takes time to get over someone
GAddams
June 24th, 2018 6:41pm
It's not bad unless it prevents you from moving forward. You can love someone without letting it stop you from living.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 12:20pm
It is very bad as it affects your mental and physical health. It is not going to bring anything. Better to move on.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 4:15pm
Not really. The person may have left but the feelings and memories don’t. If it was real, the feelings would take time to leave. One day you’ll wake up and not necessarily hate that person, but you wouldn’t be craving them back in your life.
potatobreadpoint
June 28th, 2018 12:42am
I wouldn't say it is a bad thing, because it's normal to need some time to get over someone. However, it would be great if you tried to focus on other aspects of your life to help you with speeding up the process.
wonderfullSummer84
June 29th, 2018 4:26am
No, it’s not. Honestly I still love people who hurt me and then left, whether they were family or friends, or significant other. I still love them. It’s a totally natural thing, and it can also be a coping method. Hold on to your love, because to love is to hope.
Moonartisan
June 30th, 2018 8:14am
It isn't something you can stop doing all of a sudden. You've made emotional attachments and it takes time to stop loving someone. Don't be angry with yourself, don't expect immediate results. Take each day one step at a time.
generousPrince61
July 7th, 2018 3:30pm
No, this is a natural and normal response to loss. You've lost someone who represented a huge part of your life, and it's only natural to grieve and mourn that loss. At the same time, it's important to take active steps to move on.
Mahony1989
July 8th, 2018 2:21am
I dont believe love ever dies, but you need to be able to move forward before it turns into hate. Its unhealthy to harbor on those emotions.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2018 11:34am
No because the feeling of live for someone does not disappear for someone just like that you learn to live without having to love them and them to love you back
thinker23
July 8th, 2018 1:03pm
I'd say not totally a bad thing but i would strongly recommend you to stay careful and to not give your full trust
LanLaLand
July 8th, 2018 10:22pm
It depends on how long you are staying in love with, and the reasons why they left you. If there was a need for growth in that relationship where you had to spend time apart, then i'd say no. It would all be circumstantial.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2018 5:11am
I’m going through something similar. He always wanted the best for me but I wasn’t open enough to reciprocate so much trust. I’ve learned not to idolise him in retrospect and that it was not our time to be together. It’s been a year now and I still love him for who he was to me but I know to love myself just as much; that includes reminiscing only in a healthy way and not losing myself or future to the absence of him.
TherapistMamaLeo
July 12th, 2018 4:55am
It depends on how much you two loved each other or how much you loved them. But after you had enough time to not get passed them but to find another person, you have moved on. And thats all that matters at the time.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2018 5:58am
No it isn’t, because we can’t say no to our feelings or control them suddenly..but we can do everything to make these feelings disappear or to be less
Pasteia
July 14th, 2018 7:20am
Everyone needs time to mourn loss; which believe it or not a break up is. This person has most likely been a huge part of your life when you were together and now they're suddenly not. It takes time for your body to process what happened and it's important to let yourself do that too. For some it might take only a week and for others it can take years. Don't be afraid to feel a certain way, there's a reason you are.
RebeccalouiseHaslam
July 15th, 2018 2:46pm
Not at all. it's normal to stay in love with the person that left you, it just takes time to move on.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 6:25pm
No, you can still love someone, love is not selfish, but never let it hurt you again for the same reason, when its gone, its gone. Never accept someone to come again and leave you again.