Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal to breakup multiple times?

256 Answers
Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 10:34am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Richard Manson, BSW,CAP

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Compassionate, non-judgemental and experienced substance abuse therapist driven to helping guide clients to overcome issues relating to abusing drugs and/or alcohol.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 20th, 2018 9:27pm
Unfortunately it's become normal but that doesn't make it right. Something has to change for the outcome to be different and if you get back into the relationship with no intention of changing something you're most probably going to end up in the same situation. Give yourself time to breathe then come back (if you feel comfortable) and change something. Don't spend so much time on something that will end up hearting you when you could have used that energy to fix the problem.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 7:01am
It's normal to break up 1000 times if you are not getting what you want. But trust me no one can be perfect. On this planet, sometimes you have to cooperate.
ChosenMarshmallow
June 6th, 2018 9:31am
I think if a relationship can be ended by one of you once then what's to stop it happening again; and why put yourself through that pain. It seems it doesn't matter enough to work through the issues or problems that may present and instead the easier option of walking away is taken. Which seems to say the relationship isn't worth putting effort into. The right person will put in the effort if they want to stay with you
Pugcanisegosum
June 7th, 2018 11:31pm
For some people it is normal, although it's normal for some people it usually ends up with an on-going on and off relationship which will most likely result in a final break up at some point because there is no way that you can be together if you keep breaking up.
officerli
June 17th, 2018 4:44pm
While it's unfortunately common, "normal" is a difficult term, for this situation or anything for that matter. Arguably, multiple breakups with the same person could just signal incompatibility despite (complex) infatuation. I wouldn't say this is healthy, of course, though. So, in short, it isn't something to brush off. If you've broken up with the same person a bunch of times and gotten back together, perhaps it'd be best to part ways for good. Now whether or not the subjects are capable of staying friends varies and is up to the ex-couple themselves.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 10:16am
Well, it depends. Is it you or them? If it's them, then you might hand around with the people who aren't your type. If it's you, then there's a pattern you always end up breaking up. Find the problem and you will have the answer.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2018 9:39am
Yes, but you must realise that after every breakup you make it up and change what went wrong and hope it will get better and better as time goes by and hopefully one day the multiple breakups will never happen again.
Leethelion
June 30th, 2018 1:09am
Yes, sometimes it takes awhile to find "The One". But if it is with the same person then maybe you should cut off contact with them.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 3:47pm
Yes , we go on a shopany try clothes , some we like in our first glance , do not fit well on us. Same as not all people we date are compatible with us
LovingPhantom
July 15th, 2018 4:05am
Yes it is but I do not think that it is something that means you are in a healthy relationship. Coming from experience, getting back together with an ex means either a couple of things. 1) You miss talking to them and being honest with them (Because once we're used to having that constant human connection, we're gonna crave it when it leaves). 2) Either you or them feels that breaking up was a mistake. And it could've been, if breaking up was for a petty reason. But most likely, breaking up holds some truth that either one of you doesn't want to admit (whether that you guys didn't connect well or weren't treating each other well enough). However, if it's one of those reasons, it most likely means you both should stay broken up. And you won't be able to know that until you yourself have come to the conclusion. And that takes so much time and self-reflection that it's hard to get to. So, if you've broken up after several times, give it time to see if you can move on without them. If you see that you can, then do so. Because that much breakage can break a relationship for good.
braveBalloon8013
July 31st, 2018 10:11pm
I am a guy 55yrs old and seen break ups from all sides. I would say that if you live with someone and you break up often there is a big problem. If you date and share time in each other's home / life and you break up a lot there is something that needs working on and may-be you are not suited. However if the break ups are rare this is could easily just two people trying to find their way together. What I know for sure looking at my own life, the people who work with me and me being a people watcher is if you or your girlfriend / boyfriend has been seeing some else don't worry about trying to fix it or make up. Trust is gone and the relationship is done. Only my opinion of course!
wonderousKitty16
August 1st, 2018 7:49pm
It depends on what becomes Normal. Personally, it depends on the reason for the breakup and if it can be rekindled. Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy and can result in a very toxic relationship resulting in domestic violence and bad respect alongside low self worth and self esteem.
itgetsbetter567
August 2nd, 2018 4:03pm
Some people do have rockier relationships than others. I suppose as long as it isn’t because of abuse then a few times is quite normal. But depending on the number, my answer varies. If it’s a lot, then I’d think y’all were better off taking some space away from each other. Sometimes two people being together just isn’t meant to be no matter how hard each of them want it.
Positivityiskeyalways
August 3rd, 2018 1:44am
Yes, everyone has disagreements but the ones who truly love each other come back together no matter the situation (unless it’s bad bad)
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2018 12:38pm
Yes It is, but It’s normally not an healthy relationship and won’t be healthy for either of the two persons in that relationship.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2018 5:35am
not unless theres something wrong with the relationship, think about what made you break up with the person and try to work on that issue, it might prevent future break ups and make your relationship healthier.
Waves53
August 19th, 2018 9:14pm
Yes. Break ups don't always happen cleanly on the first try. Often one or both partners change their mind multiple times. So what we see is a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. Often couples can be trapped in this cycle for some time. One of the ways to see if your own relationship is in this cycle is instead of focusing on the reasons you are breaking up, look at the frequency of them. People trapped in the break-up/make-up cycle find the break-ups become more and more frequent, while the "good time" in between break-ups becomes shorter or even disappear altogether.
SolidSnakeHelps
August 22nd, 2018 5:51pm
Is it normal? I don't know it depends on the type of relationship that you have... BUT if its healthy ? No it isn't... Keep in mind this is my opinion and it doesn't mean that i'm correct. This is what i believe and i stick to it because of what i've been through. I think it isn't normal because a lot of people want a stable life and in order to have a stable life with someone by your side, you need to make sure they want to be a part of your relationship right ? It's not really healthy for you because it will make you sad, depressed, not focused on what you should, cant reach the objectives that you want because you keep on thinking about why that is always happening to you... Sometimes you need to let go, probably is not what you want but it is what you need.
Mediocreatbest3
August 23rd, 2018 12:15pm
It is, breakups can happen at anytime, people often change their minds when in a relationship and it sometimes doesn't go as planned but getting through with it is also a tough part but having someone help and guide you through it is a great step, being in a relationship is a great feeling but ending one isn't as great, being in a hard situation like a relationship ending is something people often find as hard, but once you're finally ready to try again can be difficult, you'll need to fully understand if you're ready to try again, but even when that happens you'll still need to be careful with whom your next relationship will be with.
thescorpiohelper
September 6th, 2018 7:45pm
Break-ups are sometimes tough, sometimes not so tough but it's nothing wrong with people who realize that they want to be with their ex after they broke-up. Maybe if they want to be together then they'll try to work on things and talk to eachother more and share eachother's emotions. Sometimes people don't really want to be bothered but that's not a reason for them to end up a relationship. It's not worthy to end a relationship because of your ego or your problems because couples are supposed to share and help eachother. If you break-up with someone that means that you want a change and you want to move on so when you go back to them after a while it just shows that you are not ready yet and it's nothing wrong with that but if you want to break-up with someone you should always have respect and analyze really good why do you want to break-up with them
Anonymous
November 18th, 2018 2:11am
If you're in a relationship where you and your partner break up multiple times, it is normal but it isn't always healthy. You and your partner shouldn't break up over the little things. That's not how a relationship works. It's about communication, trust, and honesty. If those things are not included in the relationship, maybe things aren't meant to be. If you guys break up over bigger issues, again communication is the key. Talk and figure out why you're mad instead of taking breaks. Don't be afraid if the relationship isn't meant to be. Breakups are always hard.
YourCompassionateCounselor
November 29th, 2018 6:44pm
The term normal can vary from person to person, time to time, situation to situation. I would say it's absolutely OK to breakup multiple time. The important part is to observe closely what was it that didn't go right and what went right in each relationship. Many a times you may keep attracting the same kind of relationships which would compel you to deal with the similar patterns of issues again and again... a particular unhealed part of you gets triggered repeatedly. It's better to look at it closely.. So that you will be clearer and more assured when you get in a relationship the next time.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2018 8:31am
Of course it is! It could be that you needed a break. Maybe your mental health wasn't the best at the time and so you just needed to take some time for yourself. Or maybe you weren't ready for a relationship. Its possible that maybe the person wasn't the right one and you realize that after the multiple break ups. But getting back with them is totally okay nothing wrong with that. Sometimes people just cant handle being in a relationship with anyone if they have other struggles in life.
Cleopatra77
January 17th, 2019 9:39pm
In my opinion, it is normal. Sometimes people need to take time apart to grow and learn things that the significant other may not be able to teach them. If they both come back together without fixing the issues that separated them in the first place, it is likely they will repeat the pattern of getting together and breaking up until they either decide to reconcile their differences and make it work, or decide their path lies elsewhere and move on. It takes patience, forgiveness, tolerance, and a whole lot of trust to maintain a healthy, long-term connection with someone. Relationships have their ups and downs, and I feel as long as you are in a safe situation and are happy, roll with the punches and enjoy the ride!
Anonymous
January 19th, 2019 5:00pm
yeah it is but its not Always a good idea. i went back to my ex once and it wasnt worth it. the problems we had in our first relationship came back even stronger. this caused us to break up. this also caused me to get heartbroken, i ignored the fact that there were problems because i was in love. this was a bad mistake. now after the second break up i'll never go back. because the problems we faced will come back stronger and he is not worth the heart ache that going back will cause me, sooner or later,
Dannie2319
January 23rd, 2019 4:07am
Humans are never perfect. We all come with our quirks and characteristics. Finding someone that cares about them and loves them is hard. So sometimes when we leave someone who was part of that side of our life and cared about them we often go back to them. Even though they might love are quirks, sometimes they just aren't our match. So yes it is completely normal to break up with someone multiple times. Sometimes you just want to make sure you didn't make a mistake. However, when you break up with someone it's important to be sure you are completely ok with resonating with the fact they won't be in that aspect of your life anymore.
ArchiveCold
February 13th, 2019 12:36am
Relationships are difficult. Especially when you’re still figuring out what you’re actually looking for. It’s normal to try over and over with the same person. It can be especially hard to let someone, who made a significant impact in your life, go. It’s normal to want to keep coming back and trying again. Be very careful about doing so. Even though it’s normal, it can be very emotionally damaging. You can start feeling worthless, like somethings wrong with you, ect. The best thing you can do is openly communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling and the situation. Talk about why you two keep breaking up and what you can do to try and make the connection between you two stronger.
Clarisse29
May 1st, 2019 6:31pm
Yes it is absolutely normal to breakup multiple times! At times we just don’t gel that well with people and might not be comfortable or particularly happy in a relationship! You always come first and so if you’re breaking up multiple times, it’s okay. If there’s no you, there’s no relationship for you, take care of yourself first, that’s most important :) only then will you be able to take care of the things in the other spheres of your life. Self care is very important and at times it might be very hard to just find someone you just click with! So it’s okay to keep trying !
BlankaM
May 18th, 2019 1:54pm
I don't think so. I think if you are really perfect matching with someone, you won't keep changing your mind. You break up because you aren't happy, and you couldn't work through the issue that you had. If you're not going to be committed from day one, when are you going to be committed? It has to be strong from day 1, because when you meet the right person you will never want to lose them. So if you are in a position where you are constantly deciding whether or not to stay- rethink the whole relationship. What is the point if you aren't sure? Life is too short to waste!
Anonymous
May 29th, 2019 9:13am
It is normal, but I wouldn’t say it’s the most healthy thing to do. Breaking up multiple times can leave a hard toll on you and your relationship, in my opinion it shows that although you want to hang on and you’re most likely in love, there’s something there telling you to let go, and maybe you should listen, breaking up so much is a sign of toxicity and more than enough problems and that's the worst in a relationship. No one wants a toxic relationship, it’s one of the hardest parts of dating when you want to be with someone because of how they make you feel for that split second, and although you know they’re not what you need you keep going because you can’t help but love the fragments of love that they give. It’s okay to let go sometimes.