Is it okay to spy on my ex's Facebook page to see what he's up to?
Last Updated: 07/09/2018 at 8:13pm
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Thats totally normal trust me, I can definitely relate to you. How long were you guys together for? (If you dont mind me asking)
It is natural to see what an ex is doing after a break up. We often feel hurt, replaced and jealous, so we take it upon ourselves to find a cause for the break up. However, spying only makes overcoming the break up more difficult. It reopens the wounds and drives people to insecurities and questioning why things happened the way it has. While at first spying seems to be a natural inclination, the behavior should not become long term, it should not become an obsession. To fully heal and move on, one should not constantly spy on an ex, one should accept that things did not work out and think about other opportunities that could be presented.
No, this is going to bring you down emotionally. While he may be out there having fun and stuff, you will be there with a broken heart. Don't do that to yourself and go through that unnecessary pain. You deserve so much more!
No it is not okay. As you will feel emotionally down when you see him/her having a good time in his Facebook status with others but you cannot be with him/her at that time. Unless you are in a relationship with another partner and you have completely made up your mind that he is not meant to you. Its NOT OKAY.
That is completely normal and part of a grieving process. Yes, its normal but if you start obsessing over them no. One has to learn to let go. Yes its curiosity to want to know how they are doing, and what not. But they are an ex for a reason Don't dwell over one person when there are so many others out there waitng to be discorved.
I would say no, unless you still have feelings for this person. Other than that, if your broken up and have moved on then that's not good.
People cope with break ups in different ways. There is nothing inherently wrong with checking the social network profiles of people who are no longer in our life. What you really need to ask yourself is what purpose are you serving by checking his page? Do you feel good after doing so? Do you feel bad? If spying on his page only nurses negative feelings for you, I would say it's not okay out of principle. You don't want to do things that serve to only upset you.
Many people feel the need to check up on their exes, but the quicker you can get rid of this habit, the happier you'll be and the better you'll feel. Focus on you!
Honestly, it's common for people to check up on exes to see what their up to, but how does it benefit you?
I'd say yes! I look a lot of my ex's social media pages to see what they've been doing, when someone was such a big part of your life it's natural to want to know what they're doing.
If you are spying, that means that you are not over her. Thus it is not okay. There is a reason that she is your "ex", accept the fact. We all have problems in accepting but try to do so. It will help you a lot in the long run.
It's okay to see what he/she is up to. I would recommend asking them personally however, it just shows that you are still interested in what they are doing and care for them, and they will appreciate it.
Nope because the only person it's hurting is you, best bet would be to go no contact and to block him on all social media until you've gotten over him!
In my experience, the best way to move forward after a relationship has ended is to sever all ties as much as possible. It is okay to hold on to the good memories (and even the bad ones some times, so long as there is a lesson to have been learned from them), but when you are moving on your focus must be forward and keeping tabs on an ex is like re-reading the last chapter of a book; it's impossible to reach the next chapter if you continue to do so. Unless they are still a close friend or you have children with them, those ties are best severed.
The short answer is no. It will not help you move forward in this time of healing and may make you upset, sad, anxious. It should be avoided at all costs.
Totally, I think we all check up on our exes from time to time. Why else would they have fb pages if they didnt want people to check them?
If it does not bring you any pain while doing so I think it is perfectly acceptable. Humans are very curious creatures and we always want to know more. If it gets to a point where you can't leave it, then maybe it might be a time to talk to someone about your feelings.
No, I don't think so, most of the times it's only painful to you seeing that he/she moved on. I used to be very stalker, and you can not imagine how much I suffered
I am totally guilty of this! But think about it a little before you click--why do you want to know? Sometimes, it's better to leave some space between you and your ex's life so that you can both heal. Break ups are hard, and all kinds of feelings, both positive and negative, can present themselves. It could be better to talk to a close friend or family member rather then check up on your ex's Facepage. The choice is always yours, though, of course! Either way, if you are feeling put out, you can talk to a listener on Seven Cups! We are happy to listen and support you!
I think to some extent, the curiosity seems quite normal and it seems alright to do. Of course most would want to know what their previous partner is now up to. As long as you don't let it get too out of hand, I think that checking out your ex's Facebook is completely normal.
While it may seem okay to spy on your ex, is it really? Breakups are tough, and spying on them is not going to make it any easier to move on. My opinion is to stay away from their profiles as it can only bring up memories or negative thoughts.
Nope. Just like it's not okay for your ex to sit outside your house and spy on you, wondering what you're doing.
I think it would benefit you better if you avoid this at all costs. Curiosity always seems to seep into our minds, but in reality, we benefit more from building a future from our present, not from our past. It is very hard, especially if you are still very fond of your ex, but I can guarantee that 90% of the time we stalk out ex's, we wish we hadn't.
Trust me I've done this before, but I don't recommend it. It usually makes you feel all the more heartbroken and anxious to see what they're up to!
It depends on your perspective. If you're trying to get over your ex, then don't as you shouldn't be bothered with what he's up to anymore. But it's alright to be a little busybody every once in awhile I guess!
The only thing this will do is hurt you and make you feel depressed on the inside. It is best to move on and not stalk your ex
Yes it's okay but it may not help you in the long run especially if you're trying to move on from him.
It's ok even though it doesn't really help on anything. Ask yourself what will you gain from this. The last time you decided to check your ex's Facebook page, how did that make you feel?
Its something that stops you from moving forward with life if you keep thinking about what your ex is doing. Its best to cut them off completely and remember why they are an ex in the first place.
Hmm..I think it is not okay especially when you're trying to move on....you will just feel bad about it or you might just miss that person.
Related Questions: Is it okay to spy on my ex's Facebook page to see what he's up to?
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?