Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it still worth trying if he/she broke up with me several times?

218 Answers
Last Updated: 07/25/2020 at 3:07pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
October 13th, 2016 2:28pm
No it's not, if they really loved they would not broke up with ever. You should just find someone that can appreciate you the way you are.
April 26th, 2017 6:00pm
You seem to be confident about how you feel so you keep trying for that person. But isn't it weird that you don't see the same from him/her? Think of that for a moment. You deserve someone who is willing to give you and show you affection and love.
July 15th, 2018 2:37am
In my experience, no. I have been lead on in that way and had friends in the same boat. It ends up being a game... as if they are dangling a carrot and you're the horse chasing after it. It is as if you are a back-up plan. It is not healthy to remain in such a relationship. You deserve someone compassionate and willing to work things through without the threat of coming and going.
July 27th, 2018 4:22pm
I’m struggling with this now. My ex and I were together for 6 years and he broke up with me 4 time. He always cane back looking for me, asking for forgiveness, expressing how I was the love of his life and true love. I always took him back because I loved him and was mostly miserable without him. But after the 4th time, I met someone who should me that it was possible to love again, and that there is better love out there. That relationship didn’t last, but it served a purpose in showing me that I deserve love. My ex has come back asking me to take him back, asking for forgiveness and professing the same loving things. However, this time, I’m hesitant to try again, for two simple reason. Although I truly care about him and love him 1. I don’t trust him that he won’t break up with me again, and honestly I don’t want to go through the pain again. Each breakup was messy and hurtful. 2. I don’t see a future with him. There was too much pain and hurt caused. My family disapproves (although they would eventually, I think, accept) and I don’t ever want a relationship with his sister. Too much pain and hurt to overcome to really lead a healthy and productive relationship. This is my experience, and of course yours may be different. Perhaps there wasn’t a lot of pain or hurt experienced in each breakup. Ultimately you know what’s best for you. I would recommend that you at least give yourself time to heal. Give yourself time to heal and process what has happened between you two and your relationship. And focus on yourself (loving yourself, forgiving yourself, and being kind to yourself). Then make a decision that you know you will be content and happy with - one in which you know you are honoring yourself and your heart. Good luck.
November 23rd, 2018 3:17pm
If you are the only one trying, then maybe you should let him try for once. If he does not try to connect with you, then you know it is not worth the effort. Look at it this way, if he thinks you are worth the effort, he will not go looking for someone else while you are there and if he does, then he did not think of you as someone worth having. If he really did love you, he would try to work things out with you instead of trying to break up with you at the slightest inconvenience to him.
September 14th, 2016 8:05am
Instinctively, I'd say no. However, you're the only one who knows the situation best. What is it that sets the person apart? Are they worth the trouble? Are you happy with them? Do you feel no one else can offer the things they do? Basically, introspect to find where your priorities are.
December 29th, 2016 9:15pm
When it comes to getting back together with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to ask yourself "is this person making me a better person?" Does that person make you happy and want to be with them? You also have to consider his/her happiness. In the end, your decision should be based on what will make both of you happy. Sometimes, happiness can be found with different people. That's alright.
March 29th, 2015 6:37am
This is a question that only you can answer. The only person who was in the relationship wih him/her ws you. No one else. Therefore, try to analyze what this relationship has brought to you and up to what point it has contributed to both of you to grow as a person. And, of course, what are the feeling you have.
April 25th, 2015 5:27am
Yes and No, Well, here are few tips. And it is upon you to if you choose to use this or not. 1. Take suggestion from people who surround you.( well you are doing it right now). 2. Find a way out, you know what is best for you. 3. Try to control AT( called Automatic Thought). Google and see what is it. ( If you have already tried it then, make an appointment with a therapist. ) and if you have a therapist and it is not working for you then find another one. I think i cover all of the stuff.
June 5th, 2015 7:54am
Try to be with yourself for sometimes before getting back into a complicated relationship. Give yourself time to breath.
April 18th, 2016 11:06pm
Love is a difficult journey. If their is still hope in the relationship then it is worth trying over and over again. Then someday you may not have to try anymore.
August 1st, 2016 6:30pm
It depends. If you feel like you need to be in this relationship then go for i but if it's just making you feel bad of yourself and it brings out the worst in you, then you have to let go. Sometimes, love isn't enough.
October 13th, 2016 4:25pm
Yes.if he /she doing breakup at silly reasons due to lack of analysing..if she/he is not ready to admit their fault or the other partner ,there is no point to continue forgiving of them need to analysis the cause of their breakup.
November 18th, 2016 7:27pm
Depends entirely on why you broke up. If you've been at the mercy of this person's whims in the past then think about what there is to gain by getting back with them. It's really as simple as that. If you can see yourself getting ditched again in the future or they haven't changed their behaviour during your relationships then maybe you deserve a bit better. Also consider how much time you've spent being upset by this person and whether or not anymore is likely to be a waste. Set rules and boundaries, if they can't adapt and make serious attempts at amends, ask yourself why you're willing to submit to all the pain again.
April 13th, 2018 1:03pm
My personal experience is that you can't help what you feel, and trying to understand that is the most important thing you can do, before you can deal with the issue.
April 15th, 2018 12:07pm
well that all comes down to if you wanna keep being hurt or move on and not get hurt as much but at the same time that has happened to me and i went back to him and after about the third time he broke up with me i was like if he keeps hurting me like this then that must mean he doesn't care about me
July 11th, 2018 7:18pm
No, if he/she has broken up with you several times, it indicates that you are only a second option. That person is more likely to come back to you because he/she knows that you will be always be an option if the other relationships fail.
January 11th, 2015 5:26am
It is all up to you. If you doubt it will work, you should trust your own instincts. Nobody from an outside point of view can give you relationship advice.
September 22nd, 2015 4:42pm
It depends on how your relationship was before the breakup. You would have to consider if you really love him and want him/her back into your life.
November 9th, 2015 10:22pm
If you have to ask, then no. Spare yourself the several attempts not to mention effort. Instead channel this energy into new possibilities. Who knows for sure how many more times you'll have to try and try and try again after that?
May 23rd, 2016 6:40am
Sometimes it is. There's a reason why they might break up with you. Maybe because they feel they're not worth that much to you or they're not good enough. Sometimes you just have to be there for them because of you truly love him or her you would do anything to stay with her.
May 23rd, 2016 11:09am
From first hand experience, if he/she wants to break it off with you and they try several times, it just isn't worth putting your time and effort into the relationship and focus on things. If I were in that situation, I would try to talk to them and assess the relationship one last time
September 21st, 2016 8:05am
This all depends on the situation of the breakup. Often times, no. But some instances may be a yes. Its all depending on the personal relationship
October 2nd, 2016 6:26pm
no it is not. boundaries are as important as and even more than the attempts to survive the relationship. self care is essential.
October 7th, 2016 7:16pm
Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it isn't. If there's a chance it might last and you know you both love each other, then it could be worth it. If they don't love you or love someone else more. Then there isn't.
October 17th, 2016 4:01pm
Sometimes it is better for your wellbeing to move on. As much as it hurts to begin with you're better off withoutn them
May 21st, 2018 8:26am
Every relationship deserves chances. The important thing is how you feel. If you feel love and ready for giving another chance to your relationship then it will always worth it.
April 30th, 2015 9:26pm
It's a lost cause. Breaking up creates so much negativity that it becomes a struggle to hold on to and remember the good times.
October 23rd, 2016 6:43am
It all depends on your breaking point. We can take only so much before we break. Make sure it doesn't take a toll on your everyday life. Have a serious conversation with him/her to see where you both stand.
October 26th, 2016 4:25pm
No, if it doesn't work out then you should give up after sometime. Maybe you're not meant to be and you're destined to find someone better.