Is it still worth trying if he/she broke up with me several times?

181 Answers
Last Updated: 08/15/2019 at 9:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
VaehLynne518
December 2nd, 2017 5:29am
I would try to talk it over again with the person, if you think they are going to break up with you again it is up to you to take that risk,].
EverythingWillBeOK07
December 29th, 2017 5:32am
Honestly, it depends on what the past break ups were over. Also, if you find yourself in love with this person after being put through those breaks up. Do you love you back? If the break ups were over something little, then there's no reason to worry. If they make you happy, then keep trying. If it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you tried your best.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 6:29pm
Personally, I would not advise this. If they have broken up with you several times before, there is nothing saying they won't do it again. It sounds as if they may have some issues of their own that they need to sort out first.
CarefreeApricot
January 31st, 2018 8:00pm
If the reasons why you broke up have changed, it's possible it may be worth it. Or maybe not. In other words, will the problems you guys had reoccur? Or do you see yourself in a deadly cycle of breaking up over and over again? Have you guys spent enough time apart to see why you guys broke up, and have one or both of you changed enough to start again? Or is the feeling of wanting to try again an impulse, which might lead to a regretful, hasty decision?
Sazbgotyou
March 1st, 2018 7:40pm
I think this is a question that really only you can answer, and maybe it’d be more effective to ask yourself why you keep allowing somebody to leave you so many times, when you’ve managed to stick by yourself your whole life, and your pretty great! Ask yourself what you’re trying for, whether your confusing how she / he makes you feel, with how you WANT to feel. It’s okay to be in love with the idea of being in love, even when the reality isn’t so sweet. But sometimes, reality is what we need, and when you’ve been confronted with that reality several times, it might be worth taking some time to fall in love with yourself instead.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 12:07pm
well that all comes down to if you wanna keep being hurt or move on and not get hurt as much but at the same time that has happened to me and i went back to him and after about the third time he broke up with me i was like if he keeps hurting me like this then that must mean he doesn't care about me
Anonymous
July 27th, 2018 4:22pm
I’m struggling with this now. My ex and I were together for 6 years and he broke up with me 4 time. He always cane back looking for me, asking for forgiveness, expressing how I was the love of his life and true love. I always took him back because I loved him and was mostly miserable without him. But after the 4th time, I met someone who should me that it was possible to love again, and that there is better love out there. That relationship didn’t last, but it served a purpose in showing me that I deserve love. My ex has come back asking me to take him back, asking for forgiveness and professing the same loving things. However, this time, I’m hesitant to try again, for two simple reason. Although I truly care about him and love him 1. I don’t trust him that he won’t break up with me again, and honestly I don’t want to go through the pain again. Each breakup was messy and hurtful. 2. I don’t see a future with him. There was too much pain and hurt caused. My family disapproves (although they would eventually, I think, accept) and I don’t ever want a relationship with his sister. Too much pain and hurt to overcome to really lead a healthy and productive relationship. This is my experience, and of course yours may be different. Perhaps there wasn’t a lot of pain or hurt experienced in each breakup. Ultimately you know what’s best for you. I would recommend that you at least give yourself time to heal. Give yourself time to heal and process what has happened between you two and your relationship. And focus on yourself (loving yourself, forgiving yourself, and being kind to yourself). Then make a decision that you know you will be content and happy with - one in which you know you are honoring yourself and your heart. Good luck.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2018 3:26am
If they keep coming back to you, yes it is still worth a try. Because that is a proof they are trying too. And also whatever is wrong could be workable. Because not everything is perfect, and this little bit of imperfection may actually spice up the relationship and keep it undying. But if it is we who are running back to them, I think we better stop trying. Because it's a clear proof they are sure about their decision to break up. It is difficult but then that is how it is. Rushing back to a person whose emotions are not on par with ours will impact negatively, flaming distrust and constant insecurity.
KindBean2002
October 13th, 2016 5:32am
It depends on the reason. Maybe you can talk to them about the breakups and why they happen, or maybeyou can focus on a new crush
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 8:55am
I would suggest that you weigh up the positives and negatives about this situation. Does this make you happy? Do you make each other happy? Do you feel joy when you are with her? Or do you feel as though she may end the relationship again? Sometimes it is better to move on, as hard as it can seem at the time. But if you truly love each other, try talking to her. Let her know how you feel.
vivalalivia
October 23rd, 2016 6:43am
It all depends on your breaking point. We can take only so much before we break. Make sure it doesn't take a toll on your everyday life. Have a serious conversation with him/her to see where you both stand.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 4:25pm
No, if it doesn't work out then you should give up after sometime. Maybe you're not meant to be and you're destined to find someone better.
Joner2016
November 3rd, 2016 8:34pm
It better be. If not, you woudn't have to go back to him/her since long back. But if you seriously think its not worth it, then push yourself a little harder than before.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2016 7:55pm
Im not exactly allowed to give advice, but you should do what you think is best if you think it is worth trying then go for it if not then dont
PurpleUnicorns101
November 6th, 2016 6:57am
The answer to this question very much depends on how your relationship is with that person and why they keep breaking up with you. Ask yourself some questions on how you think your relationship with them is and about the reasons they leave you and if you want that or not. Just remember there are plenty of people here to chat with!
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 1:14pm
they say that things happen for a reason, maybe the multiple break ups is a sign - sometimes it's best to move on instead of going through pain and suffering multiple times.
senselessLife
December 16th, 2016 5:43pm
if you feel good about trying it another time you should. but if you think you are not happy everytime he breaks up with you, you should get this negative attitude out of your life,
thoughtfulMelody92
January 25th, 2017 4:54pm
In my personal experience, it is no longer worth the time and energy that is going into trying to make it work. I had an on/off again boyfriend for a while and there is a reason we kept breaking up. Our hearts held lots of emotion for each other, and that was hard to walk away from, but ultimately, both of our lives improved greatly for finally being able to put an end to the toxic cycle we were in. We brought out the worst in each other more often than the best, and no amount of love was able to change that.
Supergirl94
January 26th, 2017 3:15am
That is up to you honestly and how you feel about the relationship along with why they broke up with you several times. More often than not when people break up with you several times, it is best to leave it be and find ways to move on and be happy for yourself. Sometimes those relationships work out, but often the individual who is breaking up with you needs to find out what it is they want and find themselves before deciding to get back together with you. Usually they are simply uncertain but on occasion they could also be using you until they figure things out because they do not want to be alone. It is one of those very complicated situations that you have to observe the signs
FrantasticTea
February 3rd, 2017 7:22am
I don't think so. Just imagining if this happened to me, I would question why he/she broke up with me and why he/she kept coming back. If this person wanted to be with me and was serious about it, a first break up most likely wouldn't even have happened. Why does he/she keep coming back after deciding to leave me? Did this person just not find what he/she was looking for in anybody else so then just settled to come back to me? Is he/she wholeheartedly considering my feelings when making that decision? How is this affecting me? Do I feel like my feelings are being played with?
Anonymous
February 16th, 2017 6:02pm
Its worth only if I and him are willing to let go of what we ignored/ did several times: Inner change first.
Marvelousky19
March 1st, 2017 10:12am
The answer is both yes and no. Like you need someone better in your life than this girl/guy. Why did they even break up with you? But if this relationship has been going on for a long time and if you two love each other immensely then you should definitely keep going. But if you think that boy/girl is not worth it. Leave it. You deserve someone better and you will surely get him/her at the right time. Try to find out if love still exists between you two
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2017 6:52pm
It's never healthy going through a breakup many times it not only affects your feelings but makes you feel like the other person isn't taking into regards your emotions when they break up. But it's also essential to think about the reasons why they did what they did, for example why did they break up with you?. Was it a valid reason or was it over something pity. But whenever we are talking about worth here it's hard to keep going when someone keeps on breaking up it feels like more of a game. You need to ethier let go of that person or try once more but put your foot down when they try to break up again and cut ties. But you asking this question makes me think you know your worth you know it's not worth all the agro but you have strong emotions towards their person and you slightly have faith that things would work out. But remember one thing.. is it worth all the stress all these drama? What is it doing to you? Think about yourself more then the other person cause at the end of the day your the person who sounds like is getting hurt the most.
BethTheSage
March 18th, 2017 12:38am
That is a hard one... My gut says no, but I truly believe that everyone goes through certain stages and can be "ready" at certain times when they may not have been in the past. For example, my husband I dated, broke up because we were both still getting over our ex's, then months later we reconnected and everything was perfect. It was all about timing for us.
Vronica23
April 7th, 2017 6:37pm
I think only you can truly decided if it's worth it. But you have to take all things into consideration when you do so. If someone is stringing you along, hurting you over and over again, are they worth it? Even if that isn't their intention, you have to consider you well-being. If someone is toxic to your life, can they really be worth it? It's such a personal decision to make, and a hard one.
BisexualAmbivert
May 12th, 2017 5:55pm
Actually it depends to the person. If you're still really love that person and willing to give a lot chances then why not? But if you have enough then learn to give up because maybe you're still holding on because of the years you we're together. Just think of a thing that worth fighting for so that you won't end regretting.
Anonymous
June 5th, 2017 9:54am
Well, in all honesty nothing is worth your emotional and mental health. If the case with your s/o proves to be emotionally or mentally draining then the answer is simple, it's not worth it. While I agree that relationships require time, patience and effort from both sides, it's not healthy for you to become a slave to your partners change and needs. Talk to your partner, communicate how you feel about the situation, i.e, then breaking up with you several times. They can offer their own insight of the matter as well. More importantly, you'll know where the both of you stand in terms of a relationship. If you think their perspective offers comfort and promise, then give it a try, at-least. If not then give yourself space and time to fully consider whether being with them is the right path for you to take in your life. Remember, sometimes relationships can be a 60-40 or a 10-90 rather than a 50-50. However, the result should always be a 100%
Anonymous
June 8th, 2017 3:54pm
Why does this person keep ending the relationship ? Is there something that needs to be improved ? Is it something you both wanna keep trying for . anything is worth it if both partners wanna make it worth and are actually putting forth effort
ColdWinterNights
June 10th, 2017 6:13am
On/Off Relationships are not healthy for your mind. These kind of relationships can lead to your having problems with self worth, trust, and your ability to trust and understand someone else.
SacredHope
June 23rd, 2017 2:52pm
That totally depends on what kind of relationship you've shared so far. IF all the good memories out weighs the bad ones, there's no problem giving it another chance. But make sure he/she is making equal efforts as you, what's the point of chasing someone who doesn't wanna be with you as much as you want to.