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It's been 4 months since my boyfriend left me heart broken and still I don't know why it happened. Do things get clearly simply with time?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 09/28/2021 at 11:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 10th, 2018 7:17pm
Hi! I'm sorry you're hurting. The same thing happened to me in December. No, things do not get clearly simple with time. But. They do get better. Some things... we'll just never know. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like the kind of person to give you closure (it's okay, mine wasn't either) and waiting/expecting him to just keeps giving him power over you. Sometimes... closure doesn't happen. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're hurting. But life does get better. We learn to live with the lack of closure. We heal and grow and move on. I know it doesn't feel like it right now - but that's okay. It's okay to not be okay. Focus on you. Focus on the people who still love you. Clarity may never come, but healing will. I wish you peace.
Caringheart23
April 10th, 2018 9:29am
It's hard when you don't have answers you need. Sometimes it gets easier with time and sometimes we need help to get over something or someone who hurt us. If you feel like nothing's changing, you can always ask for help or talk about it with someone you trust, either your friends or even us listener or therapists here :)
Anonymous
May 7th, 2018 5:04pm
With time and change of perspective, you will learn more about your self and about him. You will see through the fog of pain.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2019 7:31am
Many things may interfere with the healing process. There are as many people as ways to heal from a former relationship. There may be different questions: How do you feel about this relationship? Have you decided to move on? Have you accepted the pain you are going through? You have to give time some time. Healing comes, at always does, but the time it takes only depends on the things you do until it happens. I hope it sounds relevant to you. We can speak about it afterwards if you need. You have many Listeners here at 7 cups who can help you and guide you through everything. Meditate, take a step back and a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay in the end :)
John3812
March 2nd, 2021 1:39am
Time certainly helps ease the pain, or at least lets you digest it in a healthy manner. In my experience, it hurts - I don't doubt that at all - but it will pass. What you are feeling is entirely natural and warranted, I have felt the same previously. I'm in no position to offer advice, but I can say with confidence you will figure this out - which I'm here to aid in every step of the way! Breakups are never easy, could you explain a little more the series of events? We will address this together. Life will progress no matter what.
Anonymous
September 28th, 2021 11:14pm
It's ok to feel heart broken after a breakup and I'm sorry to hear that you don't know what the cause of the break up is. As cliche as it sounds, it does get better with time. Use this as an opportunity to spend time with your friends and family. Get back into hobbies that you might have been neglecting. You can eat your favorite foods or watch your favorite movies/tv shows. This time is for *you*. Do what you like to do and focus on yourself. Don't hesitate to look out for support from your friends and family and talk to them!