It’s been four months and I am just as broken as the day he left, how can I heal?
5 Answers
Last Updated: 02/21/2022 at 1:29pm
Moderated by
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
To be honest, speaking of, it can be a year too and you still can't get over him, it's not the time span which is long after breaking up it's the memories that are haunting you to not get over him it's usually because what heart wants the brain doesn't accept. It will surely take time but it will take the best out of you while doing it. All I would say is stay headstrong and accept that he isn't coming back, take deep breaths and move on. May things go easy for you and try moving on
Anonymous
November 11th, 2020 9:01am
When you are Broken that is a deep wound. Just like having an operation it takes time to properly heal. You must be willing to allow yourself time and not try to put it in a period. You built the relationship over a period and your thoughts and the dept of the wound all play major factors in the healing process. All too often we don't want to give ourselves adequate time for an emotional healing, but if the doctor tells us we have a condition or illness and it will take a year to heal, we accept that. We have got to be just as compassionate to our selves.
Idk if it will work, but try to think as the memories not the person. He left beautiful memories that will stay with you and create warm and happiness when u remember them. The same goes for him. Your hearts paths crossed and now are starting again in a new direction. Yoou two created great experiences and when the time is ready, even if youre feeling lost right now, your heart will find its path again. Everybody has its own time to heal. Will it be painful for a while, but everyday you will wake up feeling a little less lost, until the day why will wake up feeling happy. The process is also a type of experience, enjoy it, looking forward to when your heart find yourself again.
Regardless of the timing of things, the pain being felt is already a sign that healing is taking place. Whether it takes a day or some years, it's essential that we can provide ourselves the freedom to feel exactly as we need to feel, no matter the circumstances at hand and no matter how uncomfortable one might feel towards what is being felt.
Just like any wound in our body hurts when healing is taking place, the same happens with our emotions. When you feel heartbroken, what you are going through shatters the heart into a million pieces, allowing it to expand and become more in tune and familiar with the feelings that are difficult to process. During such stages of your journey, it's important to give yourself space, and most important of all, being your own source of support.
Well I am sorry to hear that he left and that it is affected you so but I think the way you can heal it's simply being busy get back into your hobbies go and see your family and friends surround yourself with support system it doesn't ever fully go away but it gets easier day by day and eventually it's so far in the back of your mind that you rarely even bring it up to yourself again join some groups do some things live your life life is about Joy try to find and remember what it is that brings that to you
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