My best friend hates me now.How do I cope with this?
Last Updated: 02/25/2020 at 5:05pm
Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychoterapist psychologist counselor
Licensed Professional Counselor
I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.
Top Rated Answers
This is a tricky one because this person was a massive part of your life, and now they're not. You're probably feeling hurt, confused, lonely and angry all at once. I have been here too and it's horrible so my thoughts are with you! For me, I had to make peace with it. It sounds silly but unfortunately there's not much we can do to try and win them back. If someone can go from being your best friend to all of a sudden hating you then they probably don't care about you as much as they should, and you're probably better off without them :) Seek people who actually care for you, and want to spend time with you. Friendships come and go, and as much as it hurts, if you can accept this and cherish your real friendships (the ones where you can go years without seeing eachother, but are there like a shot when you need them) then the pain should diminish. Good luck :)
I wish I had advice, I stumbled on this site because I have the same problem. My best friend fell out with me over 2 months ago, and has literally shut me out of his life. Won't speak to me at all, has me blocked across social media. I'm grieving as though someone has died, because that's how it feels. I hope you find peace. I haven't yet.
It hurts to have someone turn against you or to find out someone you thought was a close friend may not really be who you thought. Just as some romantic relationships benefit from a break, friendships can also benefit from time apart. Take this break to think about any major choices like confronting the friends or completely ending the friendships. Don’t entertain urges to get revenge or hold grudges. Try to forgive those that do you wrong, if only so you don’t have to carry the burden of anger.
Friends leaving always hurt, thinking someone you shared so much with suddenly grows appart. You know him or her better than I do, so towards the reason why they hate you, if you think there is something left to say, dont keep it to yourself; trust the person you shared so much with to listen to you. But if its already talked, and there is nothing left to do, then take this as a chance to expand yourself, do different things, try new hobbies, and keep in touch with your other friends. people grow in and out of eachother and most times its no one`s fault, but just as right now someone is leaving, there will be more people out there you can connect with and go on new journeys.
Ask your friend what you've done wrong and tell her/him that you can't do anything to help unless you know! I've gone through this situation a lot of times! You can start by asking those questions and see what they respond with (remember to do it in person, not on the internet because then they can ignore you). Maybe they just want a bit of space, and that's normal!
That would be such a heart breaking feeling I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I guess it depends on what has happened to make he/she hate you and do they really hate you or are they just upset with you and need some time to calm down? Whether or not the friendship can be saved it can be useful right now to use some distraction techniques to keep your mind occupied instead of making yourself more upset by dwelling on something if you cant fix it. I really hope in time things improve for you
Sometimes friendships are only for a season of our lives. We outgrow friends. It will take time to heal from losing a friend, but eventually it will get better. Take some time to do somethings you enjoy, perhaps writing in a journal to empty the thoughts from your head. Remember that you are a complete and whole person without this friend. Trying a new activity might also help. It could broaden you circle and perhaps even lead to a new best friend.
Hate is a very powerful word. It sounds like you and your friend have had a fallen out and you're consumed with fear that they hate you. I would suggest to try and talk to them about your feelings and try and see if there is a way to fix the situation.
Depending on the situation, you could try and talk to your friend and see if you could mend the tension between the two of you. However, in the end, people who are negative towards you are probably better off not in your life.
Apologize or talk to them. Communication is key. If they are still angry/bitter, give them time for their heart to soften. In the meantime, know that you have stated your peace and accept the circumstances. Do not dwell in bitterness, sadness or misery. That is not productive. The situation has happened and you've dealt with it as best as you can. Now you must move forward and apply some coping mechanisms (reading a book for distraction, slow calm breathing, walks or movies to help you forget, a new hobby, music to calm down, journalling to not repress any feelings etc.). Essentially make peace with the past and move forward with grace.
While you may be hurting right now, you can try coping with this situation by talking to someone you feel comfortable with, such as a parent, teacher, relative or another peer.
Accept that your best friend may be stressed and that may not have anything to do with you. (If it does, apologize and attempt to reconcile when appropriate.) Show this person love and support with a bit of distance. The stressful period will not likely last forever, and the friendship can continue after space has been given. If the stressful period lasts longer, at some point, your friend may remember your efforts to be loving and supportive and may decide to reconnect.
People change and time heals. Be strong and know that its not your fault and that you have given your 110% in the relationship. As you grow learn from the past and make a better future for yourself. It will seem all hard and pain now but in time you will see that time heals all wounds and makes u wiser.
I have been through this experience personally and I can honestly say that it sucks. I won't sugarcoat it when I say that it is an awful feeling for anybody that has been through this. The way that I have coped is by focusing on the positive experiences that we had and letting bygones be bygones. Don't waste time trying to get them to be friends with you again. Focus your energy on a new friendship that maybe you have neglected or on a project that will help you in a positive light. There will be more friends down the road, but your mental health should always be your main focus and priority.
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