My best friend want to break up our friendship, because they find it devastating for them and for me. I don't know what to do, they are my only friend. What should I do?
Last Updated: 11/22/2021 at 9:45pm
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
If they are finding it devastating, the best thing you can do as a friend is let them go. If they continue in an environment that is toxic and unhealthy, that will only make their mental health worse; and possibly, yours too. I myself was friends with someone who wasn’t right for me, and it had a devastating impact- please do what’s right. It might feel like you’re losing your only friend, but in the future you’ll find other ones- and more healthy ones for that matter. Stay strong, everything will get better ❤️ I’m right here if you ever need a listening shoulder!
I'm sorry your friend want to end the friendship. I know how important it is for you and you are scared that if they break up with you, you will not have any friends. I completely understand I wouldn't wannna be lonely either. So all we can try is to give our best in saving the relationship we care about. Ask yourself if what your friend is saying is true, is your friendship devestation for both of you? Talk to your friend ask why they think so. If there are things you both can improve on, work on them. If your friend really wants to end it, then maybe you should let them cause maybe they are on a different path and letting go would make sense. I believe communication is the key. All the best.
Recognize that if a friendship is toxic and unhealthy to both parties, it is necessary to either make changes or break up the friendship for everyone's happiness. Though it is scary losing your only friend, if they are causing you more pain than joy, then they are not meant to stay in your life or vice versa. However, if you are truly dedicated to maintain this friendship, you can reach out and communicate with them what went wrong and possibly compromise together to help the friendship potentially last. Otherwise, if both parties are not able to effectively compromise, it may be necessary to end the friendship. Know that people come and go in life and the right people will come in at the right time. They might be your only friend right now, but they won't be the last friend in your life.
I would try to understand why they are feeling this way and the best way to move forward. Recognize what is best for you both. If they do not wish to try and work on the relationship, the best thing you can do is to respect their boundaries and wishes, even though it is hard on you. Practice the power of letting go and moving on, and it's okay to experience the feeling of loss and grief. Perhaps try and make other friends- but understand it can be a process and may not happen immediately. Talk to someone you trust like a family member for support or online spaces like 7 Cups, and maybe find a therapist who can help you work through this grief.
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